I have never been good at preserving myself. Preserving my heart from hurt, that kind of thing. If for instance, I'm walking down the street and I see someone whom I know has been gossiping about me, when we finally are face to face I will say "hello." Yes, hard to believe but hey, I'm a minister's grandkid. I just don't want to wound the Other, and I give the Other the benefit of the doubt even though I am aware that the other might be quite dangerous. That means for the moment it takes my subconscious and innate brainwashed habits to kick in, I will inevitably choose to risk being hurt rather than hurting the other person...even when I know the risk is quite great that I WILL be hurt.
It's a little like "wise as serpents, harmless as doves" added to weird childhood upbringing that makes me give weird folks the benefit of the doubt. It's not a particular way to be -- to always choose to risk hurt to the self rather than hurt the other-- but it's part of my personality. Or rather, it's been a part of my personality until now.
Case in point: we Christians know the verse: "Can two walk together unless they be agreed?"
God used it to speak to his people, and in all the places of the Bible there is this essential element of AGREEMENT. Sometimes it's just about likemindedness, sometimes it's about covenants. Whatever it is, the Bible makes a big thing about being in agreement with someone who is walking the same road with you.
Well, I had to part ways with someone. Honestly, there was just too much kneejerk disdain going on. Okay, I'm a Christian and she isn't. But she was downright relentless. I let it go for a long while. But it was as if she had this deep-down desire to see me -- and all Christians-- as shallow, hypocritical, judgmental. And not that I'm not some of those things. But dang, I'm not ALWAYS all of those things. And for the most part I do have a live and let live attitude towards folks -- Christians or otherwise. (Unless someone asks me a pointed question.) Honestly, my best friend is an Arab-American Muslim New Ager. My close friends are gay wiccans and gay secular Jews. I am pretty easy-going. I just didn't want to hurt this person who was always hurting me.
So yeah, a parting of the ways has resulted. Kinda upsetting because this person has become a good part of my life. And I'm not angry with her, just tired of being relentlessly targeted and analyzed. Nothing worse than saying something and someone thinking AND SAYING, "oh, you're being judgmental."
So what exactly was the final straw? I said, "Sarah Palin reminds me of the kind of peppy cheerleader type in high school that didn't have a lot of non-normal friends. She might not have been cruel to them but she would be hanging around with the sane types. John McCain reminds me of some aged bosses I had, folks who would always put an extra snap in their step so they could look virile and manly. Barack Obama reminds me of many rich educated blacks I've met who thought they were better than me."
So she slams me on the Obama thing. Hey, it's my experience. If we can't judge life on our experience, why did God give us memories? She doesn't mind me picking on Palin or McCain, though. Interesting, uh? So, because I'm a Christian she thinks I'll be horrible. Kinda like those folks who think an Arab American is just waiting to bomb the US. Why do we become friends when it's apparent certain friendships are going to be hard on us?
But politics aside, I think I've finally grown to understand self-preservation. I am hoping I don't swing to the other side of the pendulum and start becoming paranoid and hurting folks before they hurt me. But...hey, I'll be 49 in a couple of weeks, I have got to learn to make healthy choices. Not just in eating but in what I allow to eat me. <<-- oooh, i like that nice little word play. -C
- ► 2017 (16)
- ► 2015 (32)
- ► 2014 (63)
- ► 2013 (80)
- ► 2012 (119)
- ► 2011 (198)
- ► 2010 (156)
- ► 2009 (499)
- Thinking of heaven again
- Cartoon banned by the Mormon Church
- Active Sharing on Youtube
- Saying Thank You is Healthy
- Borders 2008 Original Voices Awards
- Henry Cho, Comedian
- Twisted Sister
- PNCA: The Pacific Northwest College of Art (PNCA) ...
- National Day of Listening
- Let the Word of God Dwell in You Richly
- CFRB: Leaps of Faith
- Sin is no joke
- Wondering: anti-global warming
- Wind Follower review
- Wondering: Ghosts Versus Demons
- Eye-raising moments in Bible Study: navels
- Living by Spirit
- Biblical Numbers
- Can forgiven folks still reap the fruits of sin
- Self-Preservation Can two walk together
- PEN's Day of the imprisoned author
- Dexter, Dexter, Dexter
- America's next top preacher on chocolate news
- Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense Post
- RIP: Miriam Makeba
- Side-stepping the Law
- So who is it for?
- The foolishness of the worldly-wise
- evangelist, teacher, pastor, apostle
- Building your boat in a storm
- Who am I? Myself
- Magnifying God
- my times are in God's hands
- Illegitimate: How a Loving God Rescued a Son of Po...
- Revelation: what the Bible writers didn't know
- Anointed to preach to the poor
- ▼ November (39)
- ► 2007 (102)
Here is a Bible study I wrote once. Instead of simply writing a long article, I simply listed some of the many questions God asks in the Bi...
William Lau of the Elijah Challenge does a rally great job talking about the priestly authority, the kingdom authority, and the prophetic au...
Is there a right way to read it? Should the books be read in any particular order? Most Churches have printed guides which help parishioner...
Once Jesus was praying in a certain place. After he had finished, one of his disciples said to him, "Lord, teach us to pray, as John ta...
This prayer was written by Rich Keltner: Right now, In the Name of the Lord Jesus and by the power of His Blood, I ask the blood o...
I once had a white friend in my writer’s critique group ask me, “Why do you always write about mixed couples? That’s a very bad habit of you...
Am getting back into The Constant Tower. WOW!!! It's so good to be back into a fantastical world. The nobility, the beauty, the angst --...
Hi all: I'm up today for the spec-fic blog hop: Thanks to Jessica Rydill , author of Malarat and Children of the Shaman for ...
Types of Bible Studies: Bible studies may be done singly or as a series. 1. A Bible Study Series can be thematic. Thematic articles can...
Yesterday, early-early, I opened my computer: you were there. A glimpse, merely But later, all my thoughts were of you. II Men should...