Sunday, March 01, 2009

Psalm 26

I've had integrity all my life. No one can argue against that. I've even been a bit of a pill at times. But integrity is important to me. And yet, I don't know if I can say "Therefore I shall not slide....Examine me, O Lord, and try my reins and my heart."

Because I suspect that although I have endured long and not sinned in any super-dramatic way against my God, my sons, and my husband, I've probably endured in this vaguely noble state because no opportunity ever came up to sin grandly.

Oh sure, I'd love to have money and I've dreamed of some rich guy "taking me away from all this." But fact of the matter is the only guys who liked me were poor. Poor guys can't take me away from all this! What would've happened to me if God had allowed some rich guy to come to me when I was totally overwhelmed with money issues? The weird thing about life is that just when you and your hubby are having a stressful situation, it never fails but that some young hot thing decides that he simply cannot live without you because you're the greatest thing since sliced bread. But weirder still, God kept me safe and didn't provide the young thing with megabucks. Mercifully, God made me shallow and age has given me the ability to have some kind of foresight. If you're gonna give up a good husband because life is stressful, why go for a poor guy? Won't the stress follow? So, through God's kindness...and mercy, I have retained my integrity.

I promise God that when the healing manifests in my son and my life, I will tell all the world. Will I have integrity then? Will I be able to stand in front of a room full of mockers and say I love Jesus and the Bible is truly the one and only pure living word of God. I trust I will be grateful enough to actually do that. We humans forget stuff though. Am hoping I won't.

Psalm 26

1Judge me, O LORD; for I have walked in mine integrity: I have trusted also in the LORD; therefore I shall not slide.
2Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart.
3For thy lovingkindness is before mine eyes: and I have walked in thy truth.
4I have not sat with vain persons, neither will I go in with dissemblers.
5I have hated the congregation of evil doers; and will not sit with the wicked.
6I will wash mine hands in innocency: so will I compass thine altar, O LORD:
7That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works.
8LORD, I have loved the habitation of thy house, and the place where thine honour dwelleth.
9Gather not my soul with sinners, nor my life with bloody men:
10In whose hands is mischief, and their right hand is full of bribes.
11But as for me, I will walk in mine integrity: redeem me, and be merciful unto me.
12My foot standeth in an even place: in the congregations will I bless the LORD.
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