Thursday, October 03, 2013

Ponderings

Soooooo a christian spec fic publisher friend has been loving onion, my current WIP, and she wants to see it
but i remember how another christian publisher hated Constant Tower when he saw it and thought my suffering ktwala was too bitter even though she was merely grieving.

It kinda made me realize how little freedom of the soul is given to Christian fictional characters. This is why I've often found the secular publishing world more honestly freeing and liberating to the soul in the way my editors allowed me the freedom in depicting Christian characters in my novels. Let's face it Constant Tower and Wind Follower would never, ever, ever, ever have been published by Christian companies.

Anyways, i'm wondering if writing Onion for a christian publisher is a good or bad thing. If i write it for myself it is more free. Sex issues and religious issues can pop up, and it is primarily about a couple dating and the story can be quite organic and go where it wants to go. But if i write it for a christian specfic company,
i will have to amp up the specfic supernatural aspects, and tone down the other issues such as racism, snobby vain christians, interracial dating, pre-marital experimentation and the like.

Now, I've always wanted to write a very sweet book. One for posterity and all. And it might be better to make the book more sellable if I force myself to stick to a pattern Christian writers like. Even if it isn't too Christiany...it might force me to actually come up with a plot that "satisfies all ages" instead of what it feels like now...a memoir with teen angst.

But will that be freeing to my soul? Seriously, I've often found Christian fiction to be vaguely unreal...except for the rare ones that come from the soul. And I even wrote in a review on one Christian memoir (a soldier captured in the Middle East) that it was something of a dishonest pious book. So do i want to be skirting around with that in my own little freeing YA novel?

Can I make it the best of both, though?
It's a real chalenge. I don't like the idea of being so constrained in the story. I can tone down some of the explicit talk about sex, but then I'll be writing within the little Christian box and not saying so many things I've always wanted to say about relationships, the church, and yes...Korean chaebol and Japanese Shounem reverse harem dramas. And really i don't know like the idea of puttiing in exciting stuff to make it a YA good read. I want it to go where it wants to go.

Another thing

This morning as i lay in bed i thought
"Am i a fool? All these things in the Bible about how stuff works...and yet I've not seen it working so much lately in my life! The good do this and then this will happen. The bad do this and then that will happen. But nooo, it's been pretty ecclesiasties for me!"

So i thought well, i should read Proverbs for our devotional this morning, and get a fix on all that the Bible says abut how the world works. And i didn't say anything to hubby. But then he suddenly reads proverbs!
and i thought wow!
So is God telling me or asking me: "Am i, Carole, gonna believe in how the Bible says the world is? Or am i gonna believe the bad stuff that happens in spite of what the Bible says, and that God doesn't know the way the world actually works??"

So this morning i just totally recommitted to "The bible says it, therefore it's true."

I'll have to trust in the goodness and in spiritual orderliness in spite of what the world might say or how things appear.  Which reminds me. It took a lot of strength last night to forgive the thief who took the birthday gift. I was in bed remembering all the other times stuff ws stolen from us. It made me question goodness, and "living my life in innocency." As for me my feet had well-nigh slipped. But I forced myself to forgive the thief. And my friend Lisa whom I had bought the present for told me this morning that the stolen presents were returned. Is that interesting or what?

Maybe the world really does work the way God says it does. Not that I intend to go praying for all of my enemies...but it was an interesting turn of events.




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