Saturday, July 31, 2010

Strange, lovely, God-touched week full of God's lovingkindness.

On Monday, I was outside praying. We had no money in the house and I was wondering what to do until the end of the month when my pension and/or younger son's disability check came in. I prayed and prayed then got the impression I should look behind my mother's picture. Which is a weird impression. I walked inside and made a bee-line for it and dismantled the picture. Inside it was an envelope mailed to us six years ago after my mother's death. I hadn't opened the envelope. And no one else did. The envelope was from my mother's best friend. I opened it. Inside was $20. It had been there for six years. My husband and I burst out laughing. We pondered how many things we "have" but don't know we have. This was the first of our blessings from unopened envelopes, blessings lying around we weren't aware of.

On Tuesday, I found an unopened envelope. I hadn't been looking for it and it seemed to just appear under a pile of books on one of our bookshelves. The envelop was crumpled and a mess which means it'd been in our house for a while. Weeks? Months? Who knows? But there it was. I opened it. It was a gift card for Dollar General, a chain in Florida. I had entered the sweepstakes in order to win free food for my son going to college in FL. So , that was our second unopened envelope, unknown blessing that had been around that we weren't aware of.

On Wednesday, the social worker came. I wasn't too pleased but I decided to be loving and happy about it...to humble myself and not be nasty. Anyway, she was a sweetie. (That's saying much because I generally don't like social workers and we had refused to take any benefits for younger son for 19 years although we should've gotten money etc...cause I didn't want social workers or social services in our life.) She told us younger son had Medicaid and has had it for a year (since we signed up for his monetary benefits. Well, that surprised us. But if that nasty mean person in younger son's school hadn't made a stink and reported us to DSS (another long story) we would never knave known that. So yes, another blessing. Younger son has had medicaid for a year and we didn't know it...and we so wanted to give him a tooth cleaning. So i will reluctantly praise the annoying person at his school. Another unopened letter blessing.

The next day, Thursday, I said to hubby, "I am going out now to pick up any thrown away scratch-off lottery tickets. Just in case someone one but did't realize he won. I will write you a check for $500,000." He said, "Make that you'll win $1.5 million. So we'll get $750K after taxes." I said, "Okay, done! Will do." I went out not really meaning to pick up any lottery ticket but I found one so I thought... heck, why not? I picked up the scratch off lottery ticket and it was one of those crossword puzzle type with various letters forming words. I was so busy looking at the letters and re-scratching off the letters in "my box" that I didn't notice at first. But suddenly I noticed and there it was the word, MYRTLE. This myrtle thing has popped up in a dream of restoration Luke had for us and it's not every day one sees the word "myrtle." I got so happy. I felt it was God saying, "Cheer up. Don't worry. Things will be restored in your life."

So, yesterday, on Friday, I'm stressed again. (Poor God, He has to deal with my stress so often.) I was thinking of the breast ductogram/biopsy, the mortgage we owe, the property and school tax we owe, the bills we owe...the fact that hubby is unemployed after 15 years and benefits are running out, all sorts of stuff was just stressing me out. I decided to go for a walk and buy a lotto ticket or two. (All hubby had on him was $2.00 and I took it.) So off I went and bought two scratch offs -- cause I get very stressed and start looking for easy outs like lotto to save me-- and nada!) So I go on my walk feeling utterly despondent that I gave up our last two dollars for nothing. (Although I knew my pension would come today and younger son's benefits and we'd have a bit of money to pay the smaller bills.)

So I'm worried as heck as I walk and I came to an intersection about three blocks away from my house. I was about to turn right but the still small voice said to turn left. So I did. I continue and as I walked I continued worrying. Then suddenly, I just breathed a sigh and said, "Okay, God, I'll trust you." I meant basically: "God, whatever happens, I will trust you. Good or bad I will trust you."

The second - I mean the EXACT second I said it-- a little brown songbird (with a white stripe) flew around me, tapped my back and sat on a nearby tree it's tail feathers upturned. I had never seen a bird fly so low and there was no doubt the bird was focused on me. It wasn't an accidental bump. I thought, "Okay" then continued walking. The bird flew off the tree, into the road, made a sharp V turn in the middle of the road then flew all around me and touched my back again. Then it went on the tree again. I thought okay. That wasn't accidental. I looked at the bird and said, "Yeah, what is it?" IT totally focused on me, staring at me as if it was trying to communicate with me.

I thought, "Okay, if you aren't going to talk to me, I'll go on" then continued walking. The bird flew off the tree again, into the road again, made another sharp V turn in the middle of the road then flew all around me and touched my back yet again. Then it went on another tree again. I thought, "Okay, that is weird. What does this bird have to do with me? It's not accidental. Is it my clothes? Maybe he doesn't like my dress. Maybe it's the color attracting him. Maybe he has issues. But he wasn't mean to me. He hadn't pecked me. I looked at the bird, held out my hand and said, "Yeah, what is it? Come here." It didn't come but remained totally looking at me, staring at me.

"Whatever," I said, and continued walking. In some fairytale part of my mind, I'm thinking "three" is the perfect number. The bird has done it three times. It is now over.

But nooooooooooo! This bird did the same thing again two more times. The same exact thing. For a total of five times. I thought, "Okay, maybe God is protecting me. Maybe if the bird hadn't delayed me up here, I would have crossed the road down there and something odd would've happened to me...or maybe I would've bumped into someone I shouldn't meet. Who knows?" But I kept thinking also, "Wow! this thing started the second I said, "Okay, God, I'll trust you."

So I come home and was chatting to Jessica, my best sweet friend on gmail. And what does she say? The SAME thing had happened to her that morning! Not the bird swirling around 5 times. But a bird seeming to cheer her on. She said she had thought it might have been an angel.

God is so good. To do that for both of us on the same day!
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