Showing posts with label hindrance to prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hindrance to prayer. Show all posts

Friday, April 15, 2011

How faith works -- not ignorant of his devices

I saw this posted on my friend's FB status and I reposted it. 


 YOU DON'T LOOK SICK! No, I don't. It's hard to explain to someone when they have no clue. It's a daily struggle feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the outside. Please put this as your status for at least 1 hour if you or someone you know has an invisible illness (M.E., anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, lupus, fibromyalgia, Crohn's, M.S., diabetes, arthritis, epilepsy, Sjögren's, etc.)


It falls in very nicely with something that happened a coupla days ago:


First a little spiritual basics:
We Christians know that Faith works by love, joy, hope, peace, imagination, the Word of God, and by silence. See the verses below, but the basics of what's needed for faith is:


One must be in a state of love -- especially when it concerns forgiveness-- if one's faith is to really work in an impossible situation. Faith can work without love but rarely.


One must rejoice always.-- especially in singing songs of praise, because praise is a sword, especially when praising the victory of Jesus.


One must have the ability to endure  because faith is like a sown seed that has to grow and one must wait in joyful expectation  until one sees the blade, the blossom, the full fruit.


One also needs inner peace for faith to work. The seed the sower sowed could not grow because worries choked it. For some reason, the word of God, the seed of promises need to abide in a heart that is totally resting in God..or it will not work well.


One needs an imagination that is not vain, one that ponders the promised end and the thing one hopes for. The essence of true hope is a positive imagination that believes one has already received from God what one wants, that one is just waiting for it to manifest from the spiritual realm into the physical world.


One needs to read the Bible with a faithful heart and to speak with hopeful faithful victorious Christians


And last but not least, one needs to be silent about speaking the pathological truth of a serious situation. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. The wise woman with the sick son affirmed only "it is well" or she kept silent. The angel Gabriel had to shut Zechariah's mouth because Zechariah was going to be speaking words of doubt all throughout Elizabeth's pregnancy and God works with man...no matter what God wanted..if humans are gonna speak against it then it causes challenges. True Gods word is imperishable seed but sometimes our mouths can cause things to take forever...or to not grow at all.

There! Our foundation laid, I can whine about what happened with this very annoying friend of mine a coupla nights ago.


Okay, I know the devices of the devil. In my case, as I try to water the seed of healing for my son and me, I've had three major struggles whenever I try not to say anything negative or affirm the doctor's report or the pathological truth. I slip up and slip into the doctor's report instead of God's report. 


Struggle One, Two, Three:
Most often when a very compassionate person asks how I am or when some very cold person challenges me about how sick I really am. I also slip up sometimes out of fear or what I call the "unnecessary assessing" comment. where one wakes up and says, "I feel so crappy today." You see... not necessary at all, but it's the kind of thing that slips out of the mouth when one is overwhelmed with illness and frustration. This is part of the devil's devices. 


So here I am with God telling me to actually imagine what life would be like if our family if my son and I were well. My imagination is so full of the past that it's hard to imagine anything bright...which is hard when one is trying to see a miracle. So my cynical social worker friend whom I have not seen or spoken to in months because I've been too sleepless and weak to go out of the house asks me me how I've been doing. 


The proper Christian response to this is to say, "It's been interesting but God is working on me." Something non-whiny like that. Something that affirms my belief in God working, something that doesn't create a flow of desperation from my mouth. But nooooooooooo! She starts asking me how I'm really doing. And I actually fall into the demonic snare and try to convince her. This leads to me affirming the pathological truth. And instead of accepting my comments, she says, "Well, at least you have hope. There are people who came from their doctors today with no hope." 


Okay, true enough. But you know... when I've had no more than an hour sleep for about 15 days straight...or when I haven't had any sleep for 9 days straight and my body is shaking and trembling and I'm taking care of a little 21 year old who has been in pain all his life and whose life I worry about all the time and who cannot speak... well..... I am in no patience for this bit of ridiculous dismissive piety.


So, this woman doesn't realize her temptation to nag at me (to prove my great pain and the depth of my pain) comes from the devil. 


But I know. And I really should've just stopped it there. But nooooooooooooooo! I FALL for the bait. I am snared by my tongue, by her tongue, by the devil's trick. So I try to explain to her to make her see that my pain is valid. But nooooooooooooo.  She is in social worker holier-than-thou platitude mode and there is something in her that wants to prove me wrong. And this makes me affirm the illness more. All hope, affirmation, imagination of good, joyous, hopeful, healthy...goes out the window as I try to paint a convincing picture of my sorrows for this woman. Aaargh!


I'm watching this situation, fuming and telling myself why am I affirming my illness to someone who is not showing one ounce of comfort and who is equating comfort with telling me that others suffer more. And she did it so quickly and so readily. I was asking myself, "Wow, I am in so much pain now. I am worried sick for my son. I fear for our deaths every day and I am sitting with someone who doesn't know the amount of near-death moments I've had and rushes to hospitals we've had and temptations to suicide I've had...and this woman is feeling she has to insist that I am not suffering." Because she's spiritual like that.


So, again I was snared. I said to her, "Do you realize that 24 years of sleeplessness and taking care of a 21 year old sickly kid all this this is a slow death?" Her response: "Well you have hope. Some people have no hope."  As if I and my son have any hope outside of God? 


Ah, this k ind of dismissive comforting was spoken by Job's friends. And even now when Christians read Job, they get all caught up with theological questions...when they don't even attend to the basic issue of Job is this: "shut your mouth when you see someone suffering. Don't think you're the voice of truth. Don't be cruelly dismissive. Don't judge. You don't know someone else's life. You don't know God's working in someone else's life. You don't know Satan's working in this person's life."


I didn't want to fall into judgment. The Bible tells us that we must not judge lest we are judged. I didn't want to say, "Well, I am suffering more than this person you're thinking off who just got no hope." But I did say, "you're getting into comparative mode." So, the worst I can get myself into (please God please) is to be in a situation where someone thinks I'm in comparative mode when I'm not. But my friend might have just brought judgment on her own head. It is possible that by judging me she has set in motion a judgment in which she will be sleepless and taking care of a sick child for 21 years...and then she will have to see and endure what she so easily dismissed. 


May God have mercy on her soul. And may God help me not to be snared into affirming the pathological...no matter how cruel or dismissive or comforting the temptation. 

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Galatians 5:6

Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.'" Luke 11:4

Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth [his] conversation [aright] will I shew the salvation of God. Psalm 50:23

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Phillipians 4:6


Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, Phillipians 2:12


And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. Romans 5:4

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. Romans 10:10

The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. Matthew 13:22

If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion [is] vain. James 1:26

The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy. Proverbs 14:10

The lips of a fool intermeddle with strife: and his mouth provoketh quarrels. Proverbs 18:6


There is also endurance, not as opposed to faith...but not exactly faith. Job was not listed in the faith chapter (Hebrews 11.) He is called patient. 

As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. James 5:11 

Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12

Why was Endurance so important? Because He endured because he trusted and loved God as a Creator, and as a Father. He didn't have much to have faith in. The book of Job is the oldest book in the Bible. Job had no spiritual book to read. All he had was his love of God, his trust in God, his hope in God.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Wrath, Strife, and hindrance to prayer

Okay, so there I am trying to get a miracle in my life...and in the throes of unforgiveness against hubby. Yes, I'm one of those women who gets p*ssed at her hubby because he's so dang sweet. Specifically, he gave younger son all sorts of wheat and ice cream stuff that were verboten.

Now, I am not the kind of person who flies into a rage when I'm angry. I'm way too repressed for that. I tend to seethe and get really distant and cold. Now, the first thing we have to do in coming to God is to forgive other people. The Lord's prayer makes it clear. We're not forgiven because we ask God to forgives us -- contrary to popular religion. We are forgiven because we forgive. And we cannot receive any answer to prayer unless we forgive. EVER. No wonder the folks in the church are powerless...we all have issues with folks.

Mark 11:24-26 (King James Version)

24Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
25And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
26But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.


If anyone has something against us, we must leave the altar and go and win our brother back. The obligation for forgiveness is lain on the shoulder of the one praying. You have to begin by forgiving those people. So there I was...wanting to scream. I mean, what can one do with someone who perpetually does the one thing you beg him not to? And what if you have lost all hope in the hubby even changing? And what if younger son's getting a nasty headache and a bad tummy because too-kind hubby
has given him gluten and casein (wheat, rice, oats, and milk) when you have specifically begged him not to?

Well -- being the writer and escapist that I am-- I began thinking that some other hubby would be better for my son than his dad. Let's get this clear: I'm pudgy, 49, and battling illness...but I think if I go out of this marriage to my too-nice hubby I'm going to find some rich thing who will take care of hubby and me. Yes, I know...but delusion is my strong suit. Actually, it really isn't. Alas. I can see through my silliness and any temptation for the most part.

But hubby was still p*ssing me off. So I didn't run off to Anderson Cooper (or his Japanese unmarried equivalent) but I did get into the old "I am simply not going to have sex with this guy until he realizes he's doing in his own kid by refusing to stand firm on this casein/gluten thing. Now, I understand that autism is fast growing as one of the great marriage destroyers -- behind finances, weird mother-in-laws, illness and adultery. We've weathered all but adultery. And honestly, it must've been God keeping us together. (Or maybe we're just so dang nice or so dang lazy.)

But enough of my rambling. It was quite tough being cold and sex-denying -- yes, imagine my pudgy self on the bed, but hey, hubby loves me. And it was even tougher because there he was undressing at night and looking so totally hot. Yes, my husband is a cutie...and it's not just me thinking that: his mother thinks so too. But then there was the desperate desire to be as conscience-clear in my prayer life as I could be. So there I was: "Lord, I can't pray to you tonight because I'm seriously annoyed with this man and besides I'm daydreaming about the Japanese Anderson Cooper equivalent." Okay, I could do that for one or two nights. But was I able to sacrifice my prayer life for spite and anger...even if the cause is right? (BTW, I'm 75% right in all our disagreements.)

Matthew 5:22-24 (King James Version)
22But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
23Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;
24Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.


Dang! Isn't that annoying! And it happens a zillion times. You're about to take communion and suddenly God brings this person to your mind. And you know he wants you to do it. And often it's someone in your own church. Or your family. Or it's your spouse. (I will not kill my husband, I will not kill my husband.)
I'm always amazed that there are so many infighting in churches. Doesn't the church realize that Paul makes it clear that the prayers of a family, the prayers of a husband and wife, the prayers of a church will not be answered if folks are hating on each other?

Ephesians 4:30-32 (King James Version)

30And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
31Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.


1 Peter 3:6-8 (King James Version)

7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
8Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:


Note that Paul says we must be kind to the weak. Not a lot of folks do that. My husband is just too kind.

We've found a new snack for the kid: Trail Mix. He picks out the M&M's and throws the rest on the ground. But at least it doesn't have gluten or casein. That we know of. Will see. God's word is working mightily...and once again my sex life is fine.

Lord, for your glory, let us attain to fully receiving healing for my son. And for me too. For your glory, Lord. For your glory. Amen.

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