A day full of godwinks! It's like everywhere I turn I feel God's approval..as if he's saying,, "I know what you're working on and I'll bless it." Very strange day but wow! It gives me peace.
Last night I was lying in bed and thinking that I needed an epigram for my new novel. For those not in the writing biz, an epigram is the quotation you put at the beginning of a novel. I hadn't really thought about an epigram in a while because I figured I had one already: "Here we have no permanent city." But last night, I got to pondering.
Constant Tower is about weakness, a weak hero vilified in a world (and genre) which worships strength and male beauty. The isolation of the main character, his woundedness, his rejection from his clan, his weepiness... well, yeah: Christ Figure!
American Christians don't usually think about Jesus as an isolated wounded weepy being. They like manly individual isolation but not weakness or even ugliness. (Although, wimp that I am, I made Psal handsome...yeah, all the women love him -- not that he sees that.)
So anyways.....the thought was on my mind over and over... and I thought of the two verses:
"And they will say to him, 'What are these wounds in your hands?' And he will say 'Those with which I was wounded in the house of my friends?'"
And
"He was a despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief and we hid as it were our faces from him."
Because my main character Psal is a wounded healer and a First Born born to save his people.
So I've been downloading worship songs. This morning out of the blue for no particular reason I came down stairs and when I sat down the Isaiah 53:3 verse came. That was soooo like God making me feel and know that He was aware of my story, that He was aware of my feelings of rejection, that He was loving on me. Then I went upstairs watched American Idol on DVR then came down again and decided to download more songs. Then I decided just then to listen to one of the songs I had downloaded (and believe me the title didn't give it away) the song began with Isaiah 53:3
In addition, a few days ago, God showed his care for us. Luke and Gabe went driving around at dusk as they usually do. Usually, they drive about in the woods in the middle of nowhere. But on that night, he and Gabe went driving and went to a park. They try to get out of one gate, the gate is closed. They try another gate, the park is closed. They try another gate, the park is closed. He drives up to the police station in the park which is located near the pool. The police station is closed. A guy rolls up after about 15 or 20 minutes. The guy is like the key master. He says to my husband, "you know this park closes at dusk."
Hubby says, "I know. I thought it was dusk."
The guy says, "Are you drinking?"
Hubby says, "I don't drink."
The guy says, that he's not supposed to be there but had come back for some reason or other and did hubby know that if he hadn't come, they would;ve been stuck in the park all night.
Then guy says, "okay, meet me around the other gate."
Hubby goes to car but our car simply REFUSES to work. It's totally broken down and flat out not working. For absolutely no reason. Key guy looks at hubby like he's nuts. But then calls tow service.
If hubby had been on the road, who knows what would have happened! This is a true blessing, not an evil act but it looks more like God being protective of us. Am just so happy at God's faithfulness.
The day before that, God also saved Gabe from getting the beatdown by sending a neighbor's hubby outside just in time to save Gabe from the guys whose car he kicked.
We must so stay in the word to keep feeling His nearness. It's the living word that does the work in us.
What a lovely father we have! I know some folks will be offended to think that God wants to take care of us like a doting dad. They believe, "God helps those who helps themselves." and "we must pull ourselves up by our bootstraps" and "look after ourselves." But while all that is somewhat true, it's only partially true. "It is not in man who walks to direct his steps." Everyone on earth walks in darkness, like sheep not knowing their way. God's is the shepherd who knows the path. His spirit is the candle within us, and His word is a light to our path. In heaven, when we won't have to deal with sin, disease, evil, accidents...we can be fully grown beings and adults. But right now we need God to lead and direct us every step of the way.
Praise my lovely God!
So, am hoping to finish editing the last chapters today and then put the book away for the next coupla months. Then will return to it with fresh eyes and repair it. In the meantime, I'll be working on Night Wife. Yeah, demon lover territory.
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