Sparrow Testimony

Testimony: About ten or fifteen years ago, I was out walking in town when i felt i needed to go to the bathroom. I was in the middle of town and could've gone to the library bathroom and to various bathrooms along the way, but for some reason I kept walking and walked about two miles out of town in great pee-distress to a local park, all the while singing "His eye is on the sparrow." Reaching the park, I raced into a bathroom. There I saw a little sparrow that was trapped in the bathroom and I spent about ten minutes trying to get it out. (It kept flying toward the skylight instead of the open door and it was seriously distressed and got afraid of me.) After i finally freed it, I stepped out of the bathrom and realized I had gone to the men's bathroom. I'm convinced God had heard the little bird'scry and had led me there to help it and to show me His care for me.

Yesterday, after being sedentary and judging stories, I figured I'd be sedentary out in the sun in the high school playing field. So i took doggie and we went outside. I took a plastic bag to pick up after him. And before we entered the high school, he went to the bathroom. So I cleaned up after him but wanted another plastic bag just in case. I went around looking for one and found a plastic bag in a pile of leaves. I took it and went to sit in the sun. After praying for younger son, singing in tongues, and playing fribee, I figured it was time to return to my other sedentary spot in front of the laptop at home. But doggie was tired and we kept stopping on our return home. At one point, I absently opened the plastic bag. I hadn't thought of looking inside it. And i was surprised to see a cute little insect. Still alive. Immediately I heard Holy Spirit say, "I brought you here because I wanted you to free him. If I care so much for this little insect, I care so much more for you and Gabe. Don't worry, Carole. I haven't forgotten you." #Testimony

Wish-fulfillment versus Tropes

Recently, I got a review for one of my books, "My Life as an Onion."

If you know me, you already know I can be snippy about the kinds of reviews I receive. That is: I can take honest criticism, but being "woke" and a writer (and therefore somewhat insightful) I often cannot help but see the unspoken subtexts going on in reviews. These subtexts are often religious, atheistic, racial, or sexist. If they weren't subtexts, if they were upfront, I probably wouldn't become snippy but when that insightful part of me detects the crappy foundational subtext upon which a review is built then ....yeah...this is when I get snippy.

In the review, the reviewer said my book was wish-fulfillment but still I kinda challenged some of the wish-fulfillment. He also said he doesn't like romances per se and likes fantasy and scifi. So, aside from reading a review where the praise is so reluctant that there is a sense that the reviewer is damning with faint praise, there is also the whole idea that somehow a book is not quite a book if it is wish-fulfillment.

So, is my book wish-fulfillment? And if it is, why am I getting so bent out of shape if a reviewer calls a spade a spade? And why am I seeing racism in everything?

Well, first of all...aren't most fiction --especially romances-- generally wish-fulfillment? It has been said that a story is the soul at war with the spirit. The author manages the battle. A story is often an exploration, and why not the exploration of a wish? It's been said, for instance, that Hamlet is a story where Horatio is a wish-fulfillment characters. He is the dear friend Shakespeare would want and he has given Hamlet such a friend a foil for all the other betrayers in Hamlet's circle. Hell, Shakespeare's plays are full of these perfect "friend" characters. No one sees it as some horrible thing.

But even more telling... White writers and readers are used to seeing their stories as the default. Therefore stories of the beautiful heroine who is beloved by every guy who sees her are normal. Especially if the heroine is what the general standard conceives as beautiful. So it is nothing to the American male, American white male , mind to take it for granted that a beautiful woman  with Euro-features is the object of lust/love of many men. The author of the romance might be not so pretty..but hell, her stand-in is. If the main character is depicted as ugly or dark-skinned, or fat, the typical American male has a problem seeing such a woman as being capable of turning heads. So I decided to write a story with just that... a slightly pudgy girl whom all the guy likes. Why? Cause I'm from Brooklyn. Cause I'm Jamaican. Cause white male tastes may not be the tastes of all the world. And maybe all white males do not want a lemon-titted girl. But also, because little Black girls should also be given stories where their beauty is seen as attractive.

The sad thing is that white male wish fulfillment is such a part of our culture that white society doesn't see it. How many times have we read about or seen movies where some old guy meets a young nubile thing who falls in love with him despite his age? Even worse, how many times have we read about or seen movies where the white guy saves the world? We are told it's a trope. But really, when we have stories where Asians or Blacks save the world, the saviors are usually white-washed because Asians and Blacks apparently can't save the world.

So yes, i'm kinda peeved. Why is my story called wish-fulfillment? But why is the male white story called a trope?
Especially when the typical standard trope often goes unchallenged in these genres. When was the last time the wrong kind of girl one the good guy in a romance? When was the last time the heroic white male didn't save the world? Yes, it happens...but in typical genre fiction, the typical genre writer does not question his wish to appear better than, happier than, stronger than.... etc.