Advent: the bit in Zechariah's mouth

When the angel Gabriel was sent to Zechariah with the good news of John the Baptist's conception, Zechariah didn't believe. Luke 1:20 Gabriel made him immediately dumb and unable to speak his unbelief. This just wasn't Gabriel being antsy. He was putting a bit in his mouth James 1:26 -- as Psalm 32:9 tell us. This is someone taking away the rudder of Zechariah's life. Jesus tells us that we will give an account of every idle words Matthew 12:36 we speak. God has given us such wonderful promises to speak, wonderful words of life. So we have to commit to speaking properly. Why? Because as Christians, we do not walk in the dark. We know how the world operates. We do not stumble in the dark as those who have no light.

I often wish I would have a bit put in my mouth Psalm 39:1 so I won't say anything negative about my life and put the ship on the wrong path. James 3:2 James 3:4

It's tough but God has asked us to be mature and grown and to be adult about our authority, our power, our use of words.

So, no matter what I will watch my words. I will say of the Lord, he is my refuge and my fortress

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so Psalm 107:2and stop talking negatively or affirming the pathological truth.

Oh God, set a watch before my lips.Psalm 141:3


The Lord had prepared a blessing for the world, yet even in such a great situation there was the possibility that Zechariah's speaking lack of faith would cause the blessing to be destroyed. We Christians work in collaboration with God. God works with us, never without us. Speaking the word and not having a mouth that  speaks sweetness and bitterness is important.

Think of the Wise woman whose son had died. Everyone kept asking her what the problem was with her son? She kept saying "All is well." SHALOM. The temptation to speak about the pathological situation is strong.

2 Kings 4:18-35

18And when the child was grown, it fell on a day, that he went out to his father to the reapers.19And he said unto his father, My head, my head. And he said to a lad, Carry him to his mother.20And when he had taken him, and brought him to his mother, he sat on her knees till noon, and then died. 21And she went up, and laid him on the bed of the man of God, and shut the door upon him, and went out. 22And she called unto her husband, and said, Send me, I pray thee, one of the young men, and one of the asses, that I may run to the man of God, and come again. 23And he said, Wherefore wilt thou go to him to day? it is neither new moon, nor sabbath. And she said, It shall be well. 24Then she saddled an ass, and said to her servant, Drive, and go forward; slack not thy riding for me, except I bid thee. 25So she went and came unto the man of God to mount Carmel. And it came to pass, when the man of God saw her afar off, that he said to Gehazi his servant, Behold, yonder is that Shunammite: 26Run now, I pray thee, to meet her, and say unto her, Is it well with thee? is it well with thy husband? is it well with the child? And she answered, It is well. 27And when she came to the man of God to the hill, she caught him by the feet: but Gehazi came near to thrust her away. And the man of God said, Let her alone; for her soul is vexed within her: and the LORD hath hid it from me, and hath not told me. 28Then she said, Did I desire a son of my lord? did I not say, Do not deceive me?
29Then he said to Gehazi, Gird up thy loins, and take my staff in thine hand, and go thy way: if thou meet any man, salute him not; and if any salute thee, answer him not again: and lay my staff upon the face of the child. 30And the mother of the child said, As the LORD liveth, and asthy soul liveth, I will not leave thee. And he arose, and followed her. 31And Gehazi passed on before them, and laid the staff upon the face of the child; but there was neither voice, nor hearing. Wherefore he went again to meet him, and told him, saying, The child is not awaked.

32And when Elisha was come into the house, behold, the child was dead, and laid upon his bed. 33He went in therefore, and shut the door upon them twain, and prayed unto the LORD.34And he went up, and lay upon the child, and put his mouth upon his mouth, and his eyes upon his eyes, and his hands upon his hands: and he stretched himself upon the child; and the flesh of the child waxed warm. 35Then he returned, and walked in the house to and fro; and went up, and stretched himself upon him: and the child sneezed seven times, and the child opened his eyes. 36And he called Gehazi, and said, Call this Shunammite. So he called her. And when she was come in unto him, he said, Take up thy son. 37Then she went in, and fell at his feet, and bowed herself to the ground, and took up her son, and went out.

War on women, war on little boys, true witnessing and walking the borderlands

I'm totally convinced that much of the war on women nowadays -- yes, there is a war on women!-- is a perverse response to the war against little boys and children.

So, what am I not saying?
I'm not saying that the war on women is unimportant compared to the war on boys.
I'm not saying that all criminal men are emotionally wounded as boys.
I'm not saying that all abusive men should be treated as wounded souls.
I'm not saying that all bad guys are to be pitied.

But a part of me gets very antsy when the media goes on about how bad men are. Often people take it up as a feminist issue, as if there is this evil genetic inclination toward abuse in the y-chromosome. They think men are bad simply because men are men.

Little boys and little girls are unable to deal with abuse. When the abuse happens, they blame themselves most often. Especially if they have prudish blaming parents. The pain has to go somewhere...so the pain gets turned out against themselves or against someone else weaker than themselves. The weaker is often the woman in the relationship, but in same-sex relationships the weaker of the couple will be abused.

I like fairness. This is probably one of the reasons why I get so antsy when I hear folks hating on all men. I imagine a little boy being raped and going to his mother and trying to tell her and his mother -- priggish and Christian and holy-- doesn't want to hear. (Actually, the friend I'm thinking about was raped by his dad from age four and their family was Jewish and his dad was a lawyer...but you know what I mean.)

I've often wondered why I seem to want to write more about the woundedness of boys rather than the woundedness of girls. Several of my feminist writer friends have chided me -- quite cruelly-- saying that I wasn't enlightened because I've fallen into the trap of writing about male fantasy heroes, which is par for the course. Shouldn't I -- they ask-- make a woman/girl a hero? I've really gotten a lot of tongue-lashings about this. But the way I see it is this: If feminism is about helping the outcast and seeing the world as equals, if being my truest self is feminism, then writing about emotionally-wounded males is the thing for me to do. These feminists often don't think I'm being my own true self at all. They think I've allowed the mythos of the patriarchal world to affect me.

Which leads me to another weird thin: I often write more about the white culture (or white cultures) than I do about the black culture. In all my stories, some poor black girl/woman is in the middle of a white culture. And to make matters even sicker, the white culture is often a rich culture..so there's a lot of wish fulfillment mercenary romance thing happening. So, again, is this me being unenlightened? Or is this being myself?

The Bible says: "a true witness delivers souls." This is what I try to be in life: true. I try to be transparent. If I am at heart an oreo, someone who has lost her femininity and her race along the way because of the society and culture I hung around in as a kid, shouldn't I just write from that imperfect place...until the time I get "racially sane and femininely enlightened" as my black and/or feminist friends would define it?

I am also not saying that only the pain of abused little boys matter. I think there are many young girls being abused all over the world. Probably as much as young boys.
I have had three close lesbian friends -- they were all raped by fathers or brothers.
I have had some close gay male friends -- they were raped by fathers and uncles.

I'm not pathologising all gay folks, btw. It's just that in my own experience...my own gay friends were terribly abused. I've personally never met anyone who was born gay, although I've met many people who were oriented toward homosexuality because they were adopted and had unloving dads or they were raped.

To grow up with male friends who were brutally-raped by men or women and to A) say that they were born gay or B) say all men are victimizers...well, to me it would be dishonest to keep silent. And why should I silence myself? To have been bullied by both Christians and non-Christians, to have been slammed by whites and blacks, why should I silence myself? To have been hurt by men and by women, why should I silence myself? Aren't there many people who walk the borderlands as well as I?

Something else: a minister once complimented me by saying my writing is ambassadorial Christianity. He meant that anyone can read my books and for the most part see me as part of their own society.
My friend, Nick Wood, also says of me that as a writer I "walk the borderlands." In effect, when a white person reads my stories, they don't see it as a story written by a black person. True, they see a black main character, and they see black issues. Yet in some odd way, I do not write as they expect a black person to write. So, am I being unenlightened again? Did all that reading of Irish and British Romantic and Victorian literature (and way too much watching of PBS and Masterpiece Theater) screw me up? (Honestly, I still haven't read a lot of Black literature...compared with the Euro-books I've read.)

I'm not saying one should aim to be an oreo. Or aim to straddle the borderlands. But heck, if one finds one's self in the borderlands...and if the borderlands is one's home...well, wouldn't it be a kind of dishonesty to pretend to be something one isn't?

In Constant Tower, my main character Psal is abused. He's unpleasant, as many abused people are. But he's also my  hero. He's honey-colored in a clan of white-skinned people, and he's very emotional in a rational, warrior culture. I love him a lot. 

Theme, Variations, Healing

Okay, anyone who reads a Carole McDonnell novel will find the same themes:
Abuse,
A married family within an extended family or clan
Physical, sexual, and emotional violation
Belongingness/inclusion

There are more...but that's just to give you some examples.

Now, Paul and St John both complained in their letters about people who had harmed them.
Demetrius the coppersmith did Paul much evil and Diotrephes liked "having the preeminence" and didn't allow John -- Jesus' best friend!-- to visit.

But those are letters, not really works of art.

In the same way, we have King David with his deathbed vengeance list and his grief at his own treachery toward his friend whom he had betrayed.

David manages to talk about his pain and the cruelty of his friends in the psalms. He uses his art to raise his pain to a high level.. Psalm 39, Psalm 37, Psalm 73, for instance, are not mere regurgitation of his pain. They are well-crafted.

Some of my issues have reached a place of art where I can talk about them without being aware that I'm talking about them. I don't really think about the person who harmed me. The rape stuff for instance. I was beaten terribly by a white guy who wanted to sleep with me in college but I didn't want to sleep with him. (Good little Christian that I was.) He was quite handsome and a good friend so his appearing in my room one night and trying to rape me and beating me up was something of a surprise. Weirdly, he pops up a lot in many of my stories -- he's Noam in Wind Follower-- and I have no hatred for him although I think he definitely affected my attitude toward men and sex.

I suspect without quite realizing it I've forgiven him. So although the effect of the beating is still with me it just becomes a part of the terrain I travel in my writing. My characters have sexual issues and are not healed. Like me, they are too sickly or too sexually wounded to enjoy any kind of sex. Yet that brings a uniqueness and a gem of healing to my stories. I used to sit there freaking out that I couldn't write good sex scenes, then I realized that there is no way my characters could enjoy sex...so the crap in romance novels where folks have explosive passionate sex just wan't gonna happen in any of my books. There is too much woundedness in sex for me. Because of this guy in college beating me up, because of my preacher grandfather, because my mother didn't want any of her daughters coming home "with the belly like all these poor American Blacks."

My treatment of the Wheel Clan in Constant Tower shows some healing as well. Really, there's this stockholm syndrome thing with my writings. I mean, on the one hand it's good for me that my writing is so... soo.. ambassadorial. As a black writer, I write in such a way that I deal with black issues in a way that whites can understand. I also tend to have a black character alone among whites and yet the story doesn't feel as if the black character belongs to her own tribe but to the white tribe. Ah, little oreo that I am!  But Constant Tower is so much about being wounded in the house of one's friends: whatever that house is -- race, religion, family, church, gender. I am very aware of the evil groups I belong to have done to me...and that awareness permeates my stories...yet.... I feel no need in Constant Tower to describe any particular instance.

But there are other instances --as in My Life as an Onion-- where I go into post traumatic mode and want to put the entire event into the story.  It's obvious I haven't forgiven because when these themes pop up in my stories and my characters actually start telling the exact story of what happened to me the plot gets bogged down. I've ruined many stories by trying to write about a certain incident. It's as if I feel I've not had my say on that issue yet, or that the person(s) who wounded me still don't "get" it.

So there is anger there. Or maybe not anger, but the need to explain...to have my say.  Which is human. But as a Christian, should I be human? And as a writer, can I afford the luxury of writing about certain things that affect my stories for the worst?

God whines a lot about Israel and Judah. In Ezekiel, he even calls them sister/whores who were jonesing for the hottie Assyrian/Egyptian/Ethiopian armies. I think God understands our need -- my need-- to tell my heart.

I think I'm creative enough to write about the variations of these same themes without boring folks to tears. I hope so anyway. Although there are moments where I say to myself: "Uhm, what would I be writing about if my in-laws hadn't rejected me? What would I be writing about if I had gotten along super-well with blacks? What would I be writing about if I had been a cookie-cutter Christian? Would I even be writing? Am I healed because I can write and walk the borderlands? After all, for all my annoyance with holier-than-thou smug Christians and judgmental smug atheists, racist whites and snobby blacks, I tend to be pretty even handed when I write about them. Stockholm Syndrome again? So maybe in some ways I am healed.

And I also think God gave me art to heal me. Not everyone who is wounded becomes dedicated to writing.  Will I write in heaven? We need drama on earth to work through pain. Journaling is okay, mind you...but something about fiction forces the wounded to look into the heart of the abuser. Anyways...singing I can see in heaven. Painting, as well. But will Constant Tower last in the heavenly library? Will it even be applicable? Who knows? But it's applicable now, I guess. It's healing me.

Jacob's third time leaving home

So today, we opened the Bible to this verse:

And Israel took his journey with all that he had, and came to Beersheba, and offered sacrifices unto the God of his father Isaac. And God spake unto Israel in the visions of the night, and said, Jacob, Jacob. And he said, Here [am] I. And he said, I [am] God, the God of thy father: fear not to go down into Egypt; for I will there make of thee a great nation:  Genesis 46:1-3


It dawned on me: Jacob left his "home" three times. True, they were "habiru" (wanderers) but there is wandering around in your general homeland and there is going away on a far journey. 


The first time Jacob/Israel left home, he fled from his brother Esau and ended up in Laban's territory and found himself a wife. In this instance, trials at home and his own crime led him to up and leave. It was an utterly unplanned leaving. He found his wives...so although it was unplanned, it turned our well...kinda. Well, kinda well.


Which leads to the second time he left home. This was somewhat planned but it had to be done sneakily. Here again, he was fleeing from family and he really had nowhere to go except that he was going somewhere else. And there was still the problem of the pesky brother Esau who was out there somewhere still waiting for him.  This leaving led to Rachel lying about the household gods and Jacob accidentally cursing his wife which led to her dying in childbirth. Before Jacob left he'd been talking to God and it was through God's help that he had increased. As he prepared to leave, he prayed to God and reminded God of God's promise. Then he sojourned there for a while, while his family grew.


Then the third time he left home, he had a large family. This was not the usual wandering around but the big leap of going to live in Egypt. Interestingly -- and this is my opinion-- Jacob knew by now that leaving for big journeys always seemed to big major issues. One of Jacob's most telling words: 


And Jacob said unto Pharaoh, The days of the years of my pilgrimage are an hundred and thirty years: few and evil have the days of the years of my life been, and have not attained unto the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their pilgrimage.  Genesis 47:9


I suspect that Jacob is now incredibly tired and incredibly wary. He has seen that journeys can bring big trouble, great blessings, and a scary combination of both. Life is a scary, unpredictable thing. So now, although his son is finally found -- his beloved, favorite son-- he is utterly terrified. Also, he probably knew of the prophesy God had given to Abraham that his children would be slaves in Egypt. So now...he has to go down to Egypt. I can imagine the thoughts running about in his head. But God told him to "go" and to not be afraid. So he went.


Hubby and I have been praying for guidance....and I keep feeling God wants us to move. So...must become brave...and  must also ask Him to tell us where to go. Like Jacob, we've ended up in a bit of a mess in our lives because we didn't ask God what to do. So now... 

Life, Spirituality, and Character Torture

I've been accused sometimes of indulging in character torture. It was a nice reviewer who accused me so it's okay. Besides, she was being honest. I like exploring how much suffering a person can endure and what happens to them when they are under life's onslaught. Poor Satha, Poor Psal, Poor Denise.

Okay, everyone has trials, and most people suffer. But there is a kind of horrible enduring that few people have to deal with in life. As Americans we like democratizing pain. We say, "be kind because everyone is fighting a battle." Or we say, "everyone suffers." But those platitudes aren't true. We should be kind because everyone is probably fighting a battle but that battle may not be about longterm, relentless, mixed, piled-on suffering. After all, a woman in Ethiopia who has lost eight children to starvation suffers a bit more than someone whose father has died. First because the woman in Ethiopia is suffering a thing few parents should experience and she has suffered it eight times. And secondly because the person whose father has died is experiencing what is common to all men. The death of a parent is terrible but it is normal and par for the course. It is a suffering we all have to face in life.

Although pain should not be democratized, some suffering is still hard to evaluate. A woman who is raped by six men and beaten to within a minute of her life has suffered but has she suffered more than a woman who is date-raped by one guy who raped her when she was out of it? Yes, all things being equal, I think so. The woman who was date-raped has suffered yes, and will be scarred for life. But she did not hear the verbal taunts and feel the powerful. strikes against her body as the woman raped by the six men. And although the once-raped girl will live in fear of any man she sees, the six-times raped girl will be devastated in that way and much more. It offends the American heart to hear such things but yes...it's true.  But then, other things could enter the mix. The girl who had been raped by one guy might have been raped by her father or might have lost her baby a few years back and might be in financial crises. So yes, we cannot truly quantify or qualify...but all things being equal cannot democratize all pain and put all suffering on an equal level. And when pain and suffering begins to be piled on...then we enter the realm of extraordinary suffering and...character torture.

As Americans, those who want to democratize pain want to

A) show that the whining sufferer isn't as strong as other sufferers and therefore should stop whining
B) believe that people are able to handle their own suffering by themselves
C) trust that the universe just isn't gonna treat one person worse than another
D) believe that if someone has a life where many aspects of their life is going terribly wrong...then that sufferer must be partly to blame.

But all this is not true. Suffering is often a slippery slope. One bad bit of luck or wrong action is often repaired. But sometimes one bit of bad luck can lead to more devastation which leads to more devastation which leads to more.

For instance, a kid could buy a car with tints. He drives it in an areas where tinted cars are not allowed. He is given a ticket by the cops. The kid doesn't have the money to pay the ticket so ends up in court with a warrant. Meanwhile, kid also ends up with other cops in other areas of the county and because of that warrant ends up with another ticket. Soon kid has tickets for $500 or so all based on that. Then car is taken away and kid can't drive to his job. See what I mean. I wouldn't call that melodrama but it could become like it.

I bring up "melodrama" because Maya Angelou once said that she didn't write too much about the bad things that happened in her life because if she wrote about all that happened at any one time that folks would consider the work melodramatic. The woman knows whereof she speaks. But as a writer, one attempts to share one's heart and one's idea of life anyway. It's difficult, because the shallow human mind either balks at hearing about the pain of others, starts comparing and democratizing pain, or is irked at life and love being pushed upon it.

Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy. Proverbs 14:10

In the Bible, St Peter writes:
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 1 Peter 4:12

And the prophet Isaiah writes about the enemy coming in like a flood.
When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him. Isaiah 59:19

The promise is that God will help. In a story, this is difficult to do. Sadly, weirdly, the evolution of stories aims toward humanism: no deus ex-machinas allowed. Either a person is helped by human agencies (in that case the person is seen as a victim and (if a woman) as pandering to the helpless woman stereotype. Or the person is overwhelmed by the cruelties of life and remains undefeated, or the person is overwhelmed by the cruelties of life but is defeated in soul, mind, and body. (Nihilism or human persevereance) But God cannot help. Nor can help be proferred by a fairy, or other magical forces. Very difficult in even a speculative-fiction story.  And yet, this is the point of Christianity: that God is a present help in trouble. So story affects our faith and faith affects our story...and it's a hard road for a writer and a Christian human being to walk. Especially a Christian. Because Christianity is about God being helpful. It's not Islam where one submits to fatalism and the power of God, and it's not Buddhism where one surrenders to fate, and it's not Hinduism where reincarnation gets into the mix.

So yeah, there are times in some lives where the enemy comes in like a flood. And there are lives which are so flooded, they live a water-logged life. Not to mention the powers that be -- legal authorities, and other abusers of power such as social services, schools, banks, etc. But unlike anarchical folks who blame everything on politics or other looming social powers and who think all will be well with better politicians in power, I cannot think of the world's mess being changed by any human entity (in short, humanism.)

Quite simply, the world, the flesh, and the devil exist; humanism/socialism/religion/spirituality etc cannot repair anything once and forever. Of course, kindness goes a long way. And much of human pain can be eased by folks just learning to keep their mouth closed. Without a know-it-all philosopher/social worker/minister/neighbor a person can breathe easily. And religion and spirituality without a true faith in Christ won't help matters either. This leads to the spiritual question: We all know folks who we simply cannot comfort because their lives are just so horribly unfair and so horribly bad that one feels the devil must be out to get them. Mercifully, sometimes folks are pulled out of such lives without losing their faith. As one of the Biblical proverbs states:

First, help me never to tell a lie. Second, give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. Proverbs 30: 8,9

I keep trying to get my older son to understand that Life is real. I don't th ink the young are aware of how badly a life can go. One has to build one's boat before the storm hits.

So yeah, I want to write about the hardness of life...and I want to write about people who encounter the hardness of life -- the storms of life, if you will-- in a ricketty boat. But I don't want it to be melodrama if fiction and/or if a Memoir...piling it on or whining.

Endurance is a trait that is rarely understood and rarely done well in a novel. But when it is done well...with all the storytelling elements required of this modern generation of fiction-lovers... it works. Am trusting God to help me write well, to help me speak of suffering not only convincingly but also with hope. Will see. 

Fairytales: Getting the mode right

Once again, am trying to write a fairytale for fairytale review. This time their issue is the gray issue -- the lost child/lost girl/lost lost boy issue.

I'm trying to get into the right mode for fairytales. The last time I submitted something to FTR, they said the story was good but it was really a ghost story. A folklore ghost story, but a ghost story. Aaargh! True, many fairytales have dead folks in them (okay not so much) but the world I had created wasn't a fairytale world. It was more folklore...perhaps because it was a fairytale based in Africa.

I tend to merge genres...not that i have control over the way I merge different genres. I'm pretty useless at differentiation. I mean.. "what the heck kind of novel was wind follower?" And what is Night Wife? or
Onion? So yeah my blessing is my curse. ..i do a heck of a lot of cross-genre. So I have to see clear.

So... the story I'm writing could be a dream, could be surreal, could be folklore, could be Pilgrim's Progress-esque, could be Biblical, Which is not what I want. I want fairytale.

So I've got to get  a grip on what makes something a fairytale and what doesn't.

First, there has to be magic. Magic used against good folks by bad people, magic used to help folks escape evil. So far I'm kinda missing this because I have deadly flower people... which feels almost corpselike. So...uhm...have I stepped into horror?

Secondly, there has to be a family. I got that down.

Thirdly, there's a goal. Usually one person's goal. Uhm, in this...it's a family goal. Will have to work on that.

Fourthly, a person returns to his/her family and eden is restored at the end of the story. Uhm...so far the story starts with the family together and they are trying to get somewhere else. They don't have a home really. Uhm...gotta work on this.

Fifth: A trial of some kind. Sometimes a persecutor/adversary causes the trial. Sometimes a small thing causes the protag to meet the persecutor/adversary.

Sixth: Requests (usually made by someone in need or in power or both) that sets the hero/heroine on a journey. Somehow the person making the request cannot or will not go on the journey beause of illness, old age, poverty, or plain old self-servingness.

Seventh: A very good person. (Or a trickster. But I don't want to get too into trickster mode.) The very good person wins the day through his intelligence or her beauty and goodness. Once in a while the beautiful girl is intelligent but for the most part, it's her morality and kind heart that wins the day.

What else? What else? What else? Gotta think. 

Spirituality, Pride, Being Myself

Okay, there really is a lot to be said about choosing the appropriate time to hear a sermon. So here I am, mad as heck at the smug Peekskill police and the equally smug social services person and what do I listen to?



Okay... it's a great sermon. And that's just the problem. When one's pride has been hurt -- and the weak, sick, wounded, poor and outcast in society are bound to have hurt pride-- it's just the worst time to hear a sermon on one's lack of holiness, the goodness of humility, etc. Hearing such sermons at such times just makes one feel even more hammered and then one starts thinking...."Uhm, so my son won't be healed and delivered of his sickness because I'm being a proud bitch?" It's all so stressing.

I remember once when I was falling apart and I heard a sermon on protocol, that we should "enter God's gates with thanksgiving" that God was a king and above us and we should be aware of that. So I told myself to praise because that is what one does when meeting a king. But at the same time I thought.."But he's my father too! He's my friend too!" And I decided that I would accept the truth of the sermon but that at that moment, I needed to be a bit more myself.

At such times one almost has to make a conscious decision to simply say: "This particular sermon does not apply to me." A dangerous thing to do but eh. Hey, unlike the minister in this sermon, I have incredible human insight, great spiritual discernment, a tendency toward terribly morbid introspection, and a hefty dose of generalized paranoia. It is VERY hard for my sin to catch me off-guard. So I'm not going to be falling apart because His Father God told him something about his own sin that he wishes to share with everyone. Heck, I'm always falling apart because of my sin.

At times like this I have to remind myself that God is my own father as well. Really! One wants to ask God, "Father, can I please make this personal and not some sort of granite communal God who wants us all to learn the same lesson from what he's doing in some other person's life?" Trust me, if one has morbid introspection up the wazoo ...EVERY sermon one hears feels like a hammer.

Anyway, considering I am battling bitterness because my illness and son's illness has allowed others to consider themselves superior to me, the sermon was very stressing. I want to say to God, "Father, please! I'm your daughter! Honor my pride, please! How can I continue to be humble when the powers that be are so unrelenting?" (I mean, one tells the social worker that there are medical exams which prove the kid has stomach troubles and that one's child was put in a psychiatric facility and tested for aggressiveness and the psychiatrist says he is fine... AND YET the social worker keeps telling you your son needs meds instead of believing you? It is very difficult to deal with. Especially when everyone else like the cops and the school join in. They totally forget that the child is wonderfully behaved the other 360 days of the year.)

I suppose the nearest I can ask God is for justice. Which is what the poor ask for in the Bible. Justice. Justice. Mercy. And Justice.

Dark Parables: Where the corpses are, there the vultures gather.

Was lying in bed when I had this vision:

I saw a beach or seashore. At first I was looking at only one little section where I saw tons of birds. Looked like dead birds. Then the camera panned across from the sea toward land and began to pull away for a larger view. It was then I saw hundreds maybe thousands of dead people on the beach and birds picking at their bodies. Then the camera (or viewpoint) went in closer and I saw a little girl with long very blond hair lying on her face in the sand. She had on a pink blouse and a bird was standing on her neck pecking at her skull and face.

The blondeness of the little girl's hair made me think it was in some Scandinavian country.

General Update on novels

Sent Constant Tower to the publisher and am waiting to hear. I really like Psal, its main character. In Wind Follower, Loic likes his society and fits into it for the most part (he really only has two axes to grind: he hates the spirits and he thinks his father should've challenged them.) Loic is also noble, handsome, and has the physical body his society and clan honors. Although folks think he's a pain, he is somewhat spoiled, treats all with equality, and has the noblesse oblige thing down. Loic is the kinda rich guy who would be really concerned with making his wife know what fork to use when they have a feast. He has a couple of foils as well. His younger brother Sio behaves quite honorably. But do i care about the ones who behave honorably? No! I like the nuttier ones. I guess I just want to see how much I can get away with when I write. In Wind Follower I got away with talking about Christianity as folklore. Love, also. I got away with discussing love which can be a problem to folks who want a lot of buckling of swash. In Constant Tower, I'm trying to get away with talking about emotional wounds in a fantasy.

Psal is not what his society wants of him. He is the firstborn son of the king yet because he is born with congenital defects his birthright is given to his younger brother. Psal is also spoiled but not pampered. He gets away with a lot because he's the king's son but he is not treated with kid gloves. He is continually mocked and sneered at and raped at one point. He treats all with equality but he's not above using the rank he should have had to get what he wants. He desperately wants folks to remember he is the firstborn. He also  has father issues. He tries to please his father but we're never sure if he actually likes his father. He probably does but the idea of being loved by his father is so far from his reality that he doesn't allow himself to think of it. He whines too. A lot. Even more than Loic. And whereas Loic wants to leave his clan and live alone by himself and his wife, Psal wants to create a clan within his clan. He likes his father's enemies more than he likes his own clan and yet he doesn't want to leave his  clan. Of course, there's also Ephan. Also damaged. Also a prince. And he behaves much differently toward his lot in life.

Anyways, now am trying to work on My Life as an Onion with main character, Ben. Ben also has the noblesse oblige thing down. (Yep he's rich as well and his love is a poor dark girl. Yeah, well, at least I'm consistent.) But Ben is also manipulative. He doesn't care much about what his money will do for him but he cares a great deal about what his money will cause his friends to do. He isn't whiny. He likes thinking he's cold so we are trying to see behind that mask of coldness he affects. He's funny too, and as he calls himself "a bit of a coquette" and is so petted that he will destroy himself with his power if he isn't careful. Love that book as well. 

Writing qualms: Christian worldview versus Christian moral view

I had a bit of stress writing Constant Tower because I had to separate Christian worldview from Christian moral view. I had to do it in Wind Follower as well when I gave one man two wives...but Christians and the world are used to that kind of thing. But the other way around...one woman with two husbands. Well, some folks didn't like it...and some folks (when this book is published) will have problems with it. I also had to create a very savage world.

The problem with a lot of fantasy --especially Christian fantasy-- is that they really like the "romance" of the prototype, the Arthurian legends, courtly love and all that. But  although I totally have read those ancient tomes and the Arthurian cycle  from the French, German and English medieval writers, I'm not so attached to them that I can't change them around. Let's face it, I'm black, I like tribal folklore pagan writings. And I am very suspicious of all that European courtly love.

The typical Christian novel tends to have a Christian moral viewpoint. Even Christian fantasies about elves and other worlds have that moral viewpoint. The aim of many Christian novels, fantasy or otherwise, is to bring the person to the tree of knowledge of good and evil. (Not to the tre of life, mind you.) They say they want to show Christ...but the legalism is so heavy and the goal of rewarding the good and bringing the bad to see the light..that there is heavy slogging through moral rightness.

In the world of the Constant Tower, the planet of Odunao has a different moral standard. The Clan the reader spends most of his/her time with is pretty atheistic or at least pragmatic rationalists. The laws given to that planet by its creator are similar to those our Creator gave to us but not wholly similar. Their Creator, for instance, doesn't say anything about how many wives a person has. For me the distancing of  the Odunao moral viewpoint from the Earth viewpoint is important because I really think we Christians must be aware that the Mosaic law was given to the Jews but the rest of the world was given the law of Noah and the commandments given to Adam and Eve. In addition, there is the tao of the ten commandments. EVERY culture knows not to have someone else's wife/husband, not to steal, lie, etc. (And remarkably, lying is rarely done in Odunao. The characters would not really think to do it...because there is little chance the lie would succeed or that they would be punished for telling the truth, no matter how devastating the truth is.) When Christians go out to save the world, they often forget that we are to bring the tree of life, not the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

But they also forget the supernatural. And the Christian worldview is very supernatural. True, many denominations especially the Baptists have been so affected by the Greek rationalistic philosophies infused into the church and want to create a rationalistic world and want to put the supernatural aside. But the Bible is full of the supernatural. Mediums, demons, angels, abound. There is a ladder joining heaven and earth, the eyes of man are opened so they can dream dreams and see visions.

So it was very hard for me to write a marriage between a girl and two boys. Fear of christians. And it was very hard for me to include the religious/supernatural in the story. Fear of rationalists and fear of Christians. But I managed. Will see. 

A Day full of Godwinks, a Week Full of Divine Love

A day full of godwinks! It's like everywhere I turn I feel God's approval..as if he's saying,, "I know what you're working on and I'll bless it." Very strange day but wow! It gives me peace. 

Last night I was lying in bed and thinking that I needed an epigram for my new novel. For those not in the writing biz, an epigram is the quotation you put at the beginning of a novel. I hadn't really thought about an epigram in a while because I figured I had one already: "Here we have no permanent city." But last night, I got to pondering.

Constant Tower is about weakness, a weak hero vilified in a world (and genre) which worships strength and male beauty. The isolation of the main character, his woundedness, his rejection from his clan, his weepiness... well, yeah: Christ Figure!

American Christians don't usually think about Jesus as an isolated wounded weepy being. They like manly individual isolation but not weakness or even ugliness. (Although, wimp that I am, I made Psal handsome...yeah, all the women love him -- not that he sees that.)

So anyways.....the thought was on my mind over and over... and I thought of the two verses: 

"And they will say to him, 'What are these wounds in your hands?' And he will say 'Those with which I was wounded in the house of my friends?'"

And 

"He was a despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief and we hid as it were our faces from him."

Because my main character Psal is a wounded healer and a First Born born to save his people.

So I've been downloading worship songs. This morning out of the blue for no particular reason I came down stairs and when I sat down the Isaiah 53:3 verse came. That was soooo like God making me feel and know that He was aware of my story, that He was aware of my feelings of rejection, that He was loving on me.  Then I went upstairs watched American Idol on DVR then came down again and decided to download more songs. Then I decided just then to listen to one of the songs I had downloaded (and believe me the title didn't give it away) the song began with Isaiah 53:3

In addition, a few days ago, God showed his care for us.  Luke and Gabe went driving around at dusk as they usually do. Usually, they drive about in the woods in the middle of nowhere. But on that night, he and Gabe went driving and went to a park. They try to get out of one gate, the gate is closed. They try another gate, the park is closed. They try another gate, the park is closed. He drives up to the police station in the park which is located near the pool. The police station is closed. A guy rolls up after about 15 or 20 minutes. The guy is like the key master. He says to my husband, "you know this park closes at dusk."

Hubby says, "I know. I thought it was dusk."

The guy says, "Are you drinking?"

Hubby says, "I don't drink."

The guy says, that he's not supposed to be there but had come back for some reason or other and did hubby know that if he hadn't come, they would;ve been stuck in the park all night.

Then guy says, "okay, meet me around the other gate."

Hubby goes to car but our car simply REFUSES to work. It's totally broken down and flat out not working. For absolutely no reason. Key guy looks at hubby like he's nuts. But then calls tow service. 

If hubby had been on the road, who knows what would have happened! This is a true blessing, not an evil act but it looks more like God being protective of  us. Am just so happy at God's faithfulness.

The day before that, God also saved Gabe from getting the beatdown by sending a neighbor's hubby  outside just in time to save Gabe from the guys whose car he kicked. 

We must so stay in the word to keep feeling His nearness. It's the living word that does the work in us.

What a lovely father we have! I know some folks will be offended to think that God wants to take care of us like a doting dad. They believe, "God helps those who helps themselves." and "we must pull ourselves up by our bootstraps" and "look after ourselves." But while all that is somewhat true, it's only partially true. "It is not in man who walks to direct his steps." Everyone on earth walks in darkness, like sheep not knowing their way. God's is the shepherd who knows the path. His spirit is the candle within us, and His word is a light to our path. In heaven, when we won't have to deal with sin, disease, evil, accidents...we can be fully grown beings and adults. But right now we need God to lead and direct us every step of the way. 

Praise my lovely God!

So, am hoping to finish editing the last chapters today and then put the book away for the next coupla months. Then will return to it with fresh eyes and repair it. In the meantime, I'll be working on Night Wife. Yeah, demon lover territory.

God's annoying ggenerosity

Recently, I was lying in bed and the Holy Spirit brought this verse to my mind:
"Is your eye evil because I'm good?" Loose translation: Are you angry with me because I'm good to others.

Well, I thought about it but since I didn't want to think about it, I didn't think about it too much. But the Holy Spirit was persistent and led my husband to the same verse through one of those annoying Godly coincidences. So, I thought: "Well, I could assume this is just a co-incidence or I could assume it's meant specifically for me. It might be God hinting to me about my illness or some other issue in our lives."

This verse occurs in the parable found at Matthew 20:15

Theologically, the verse means that God will be just to everyone but he will be merciful to whoever He wills to show mercy to. God is not unfair.

But spiritually, in my personal situation, it was God inviting me to release some people from my judgment of them. The world is full of people who were not as good or hard-working as we were. Even though we are all sinners, there are some folks who are really really bad sinners. We all break the law of God if we break one part of the law. All are lawbreakers, but all are not equally evil. A little kid who lies is not as evil as Hitler or Stalin for instance.

The feeling in this parable is one of woundedness and injustice. The workers who were hired early in the day did a lot of work. They were getting a generous pay for their work. Later, a few hours later, other workers were hired and were also given the same pay. These also got the same pay rate: The denarius. Heaven. The joy of being hired to work in the Lord's field. Then there were the folks at the end.

Now, although the situation isn't exactly paralleled to my situation, I saw what the Lord meant. I have a tendency to be very upset when one who has hurt me is blessed. My brother-in-law was very racist toward me and on the day my husband and I got married, he told me off. Yep, I got a nasty tongue-lashing from a racist evil brother-in-law an hour after my wedding telling me he didn't want me to taint his family. I've had other crap from other folks along my life's journey. And honestly, it has left me with a real anger at God's kindness to such people. Imagine having to stuff one's anger down when one's unemployed husband gives money to his equally unemployed brother when all one wanted to do was scream! Hubby's family was so cruel to me that fibromyalgia popped up and ill health. Yet, they have remained healthy.

When i heard he had a baby, I was so pissed. Why would God bless them with a healthy baby when they were so scornful and racist about me and my baby? To see someone who has not borne the heat of the day receive blessing from God is hard. So far, I've managed to pray for their finances, their health, etc...but it's been hard as heck to pray for their salvation. Truly, although I believe in hell, I don't feel any great need to prevent my in-laws from going there. To "get the Lord's wages at the end of the day," so to speak.

But I felt as if God was reminding me that being angry with God because of His goodness to people I can't stand is indulging in legalism. And, as St Paul says, once we start judging another, we are no longer under grace but under law. So, although I am a Christian who totally believes in grace... because of this resentment at God for His kindness to cruel people, for "good things happening to bad people" I had fallen out of the kingdom of God's dear son and into the kingdom of darkness. St Paul told the Galatians that whoever is under legalism and under the law is cursed. Any tiny amount of judgment on our part shows us to be still using a measuring stick that measures worth.

Anyway, I repented of this attitude and asked God to free me from the wounds caused that makes me so angry at him. (Let's face it: some of the "good" people in the Bible are people one would not want to really befriend. Abram giving his wife away and sending his young son out into the desert to die and using his slave woman as a sexual slave. Not to mention David who killed the adopted sons of his ex-wife Michal because he could.) But a theistic personal God has His own personality...or else He would not be a true being...and we must take that personality the way we find it.

Hard though it is, I shall have to like it when good things happen to really bad people. Am just hoping I don't deal with anymore creeps. It's enough of a struggle not judging one's enemy but it's hard as heck not to judge God. (Just saying, Lord! You know I love you. But speaking the truth in love. ;-)

Matthew 20 (King James Version)  1For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which went out early in the morning to hire labourers into his vineyard.  2And when he had agreed with the labourers for a penny a day, he sent them into his vineyard.  3And he went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the marketplace,  4And said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right I will give you. And they went their way.  5Again he went out about the sixth and ninth hour, and did likewise.  6And about the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle, and saith unto them, Why stand ye here all the day idle?  7They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive.  8So when even was come, the lord of the vineyard saith unto his steward, Call the labourers, and give them their hire, beginning from the last unto the first.  9And when they came that were hired about the eleventh hour, they received every man a penny.  10But when the first came, they supposed that they should have received more; and they likewise received every man a penny.  11And when they had received it, they murmured against the goodman of the house,  12Saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day.  13But he answered one of them, and said, Friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny?  14Take that thine is, and go thy way: I will give unto this last, even as unto thee.  15Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good?  16So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.

Seven Sons of Sceva: Legalism and Pride

Exorcism is known all over the world. Generally, if it is not a Christian exorcist, the driving out of the demon is done by bribery. You cajole and beg and bribe the spirit to leave the affected/afflicted person. Even so, we Christians believe that if a spirit isn't cast out in the name of Christ, it often is playing a trick and will only get the person in greater trouble in the future. Only when a demon is cast out in the name of Jesus and sent to the feet of Jesus for judgement is a person free from it. And even then, a person must not be left "empty" but must be filled with the knowledge of God and of His son, our Saviour Jesus Christ.

 The seven sons of Sceva used the name of Jesus to cast out demons because they saw the success of using the name, but they were not Christians. In one way, their not being Christians didn't really matter. Even before Jesus died, he had given authority to his disciples to cast out demons in his name.

At that time, someone who was not part of Jesus group heard Jesus and started casting out devils. We don't know if he believed in Jesus or not. We only know he was not part of Jesus' group. But he understood one of the keys to the kingdom...the power of Jesus' name. Jesus' disciples forbade the man from casting out the devils in Jesus' name because the man was not a part of their group. Who knows why they forbade it? Perhaps they wanted to spare the man future trouble because the man was alone and we know devils can be nasty. Perhaps they wanted the man to go all the way and join them as a child and follower of Jesus. Perhaps the man thought he was some great person and liked to be known as a exorcist. Perhaps the man was setting himself up as someone who could folks a little Jesus-lite, and giving people just what they needed from God without the people having to go all the way and accept Jesus. We don't know what was happening with this guy. Although Jesus' disciples were annoyed that this fellow was doing it, Jesus told them not to forbid the man. After all, the man was doing it in Jesus name and perhaps was well on his way to believing in Jesus as the Messiah.

Later, Jesus again gives the holy spirit and the command to cast out demons after his resurrection. (He had given the spirit and the authority to them before. And he would give it to them later again at Pentecost. The Holy spirit was always being given to folks but only at Pentecost was it given without measure.)

So here we are at the Seven Sons of Sceva. It seems that there were a bunch of itinerant Jewish preachers who were going about casting out demons. We don't know how many itinerant Jewish preachers there were. The verse is mentioned before God mentions the seven sons of Chief Priest Sceva. These itinerant Jewish preachers obviously all had some success as well. Of these itinerant Jewish preachers, there were these seven sons of a Chief Priest.

These  seven sons of Sceva might have exorcized people before using Jesus' name. Nowhere does it say that this famous encounter was their first rodeo. But for some reason, this particular encounter caused them trouble. Why then did this particular spirit beat them? Why then?

One of the reasons might be the kind of spirit they were attempting to exorcize. As Jesus said, some spirits don't come out that easily.

Another reason is that these were seven sons of a chief priest. Sin in the life of an exorcist or healer makes healing and exorcising hard. There is much we don't know as Christians so it's pretty stupid for us to believe that God doesn't heal or that God doesn't remove demons if the entire Christian body doesn't know all there is to know about healing. But if there is one thing that we Christians won't admit it's this: sin in the life of a healer/exorcist is not going to help. IF one gets prayed for by a minister, it might not be his lack of faith of your lack of faith. It could be the minister doesn't know what he's doing or the minister has some sin in his life. Anyway, I digress. Back to these seven sons. It is quite probable their reliance on their own holiness and importance and eliteness and legalism and family hierarchy got in the way. It is hard to exorcise a spirit when Christian exorcism is based on grace. In addition, the spirit's answer to them shows his idea of them. These Chief priest's sons are proud and legalistic. Both sins that are utterly anathema to grace. And faith and authority and power work by grace. The spirits basically puts them in their place.  "I know Paul, I acknowledge Jesus. But who the heck are you?"

Can any of us Christians say we are free from pride and legalism?



11And God wrought special miracles by the hands of Paul: 12So that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them. 13Then certain of the vagabond Jews, exorcists, took upon them to call over them which had evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus, saying, We adjure you by Jesus whom Paul preacheth. 14And there were seven sons of one Sceva, a Jew, and chief of the priests, which did so. 15And the evil spirit answered and said, Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are ye? 16And the man in whom the evil spirit was leaped on them, and overcame them, and prevailed against them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded. 17And this was known to all the Jews and Greeks also dwelling at Ephesus; and fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified. 18And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds. 19Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. 20So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.


Acts 19:22


"Master," said John, "we saw a man driving out demons in your name and we tried to stop him, because he is not one of us." Luke 9:49

God of Light, God of Darkness 

by Daniel Kikawa

Paperback: 282 pages

Publisher: Aloha Ke Akua Ministries; 1st edition (April 2, 2008)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0964359510

ISBN-13: 978-0964359512

Here's the blurb:

I have waited seven years to tell this story. It has taken that long to obtain permission from the matriarch of the Iokane family; after all, much of this story is their family legacy, the 800-year-old Hawaiian prophecy and the promise of The One that was fulfilled on March 14, 1998. I can now continue in the mission to which God called me many years ago, to tell all people that God has this same story of faithfulness and love for them that He has for Hawaii. This story is the chronicle of the spiritual history of Hawaii. It is the story of the battle between light and darkness good and evil in a titanic clash for spiritual supremacy over the islands of Hawaii and her people. This story may read like an exciting fiction novel but the miraculous events in this book really happened; they are true. And God has this same story of love and faithfulness for your people and your land, too. Daniel Kikawa

God of Light, God of Darkness


To be fair
Here's a counter-argument to the book: http://www.letusreason.org/ecumen11.htm

Dark Parables: Dream of church and vision of Ash-faced people

Okay, living in the dreaming visioning generation, I'm trying to figure out some of the images that present themselves to me in dreams and visions.

Was reading Jeremiah today  and came across the following. In it we see God talking to Jeremiah in two different visions. The first vision is of the word association type. The word for almond sounds like the word for hasten so God was punning.

The word of the LORD came to me: "What do you see, Jeremiah?" "I see the branch of an almond tree," I replied.  Jeremiah 1: 11


"A rod of an almond tree - שקד shaked, from שקד shakad, "to be ready," "to hasten," "to watch for an opportunity to do a thing," to awake; because the almond tree is the first to flower and bring forth fruit."  -- Clarke's Commentary on the Bible

The second is of the symbolic imagery type.

The word of the LORD came to me again: "What do you see?" "I see a boiling pot, tilting away from the north," I answered. Jeremiah 1:13


These are just two of the ways God shows things in visions. Anyway...so here I am with my two confusing dream and visions.


The first is a dream. The second is a vision.


The dream:



I dreamed I was coming down a staircase (metal, gridlike) and talking to a guy about the future deception when "all the world will be as one" and believe that peace has come. Then I heard a processional hymn being sung in an Anglican/Episcopailian church. The opening line of the hymn was either Joyful, joyful or happy, happy or joyful, happy or happy, joyful. I recognized the hymn and it made me so happy I wanted to listen to it and to see the procession. I ran down to the church and looked through at a little side door. I hid a little to the side so no one inside could see me looking in. I saw a little blonde girl passing by in the procession, heading toward the altar. She was holding a book in her hand. Might have been a hymnal or a Bible. She had on the white tunic vestments folks wear in the processional in church. I was so overwhelmed with greif at the state of my church and so overwhelmed with the beauty of the hymn that I put my right hand on the wall to the left of the little door. I almost felt I would go through the wall or that if I turned to the left I would see an angel. I just cried and cried and cried and then I looked in the little door again. I saw the priest's hand. I could see it parallel to the door where I stood and perpendicular to the altar. It was in front of a particular section of the altar near the middle and the priest seemed about to open a compartment within the altar. Not sure if he had a key in his hand. I woke up crying but I got up with a sense of anticipation. As if anticipating healing for my son, or a repairing of the Episcopalian church, or something being opened. I was crying to much when I woke up.

The vision:
I was lying in bed and suddenly three short movie type clips pop up in front of my mind's eye:
A man, a woman, an older man: All with ash on one side of their face. As if they had fallen into ash on one side of their body. Not sure if it was volcanic ash or fire ash. They seemed Latin American or Pacific Islander...olive-skinned or darker. Not sure what that means.


So, Rose-Marie says: It might be a disaster in Latin America
Jessica says, it might be about repentance... sackcloth and ashes. 


But why is the ash only on one side of the face? Must think.

The Irrational Atheist by Vox Day

The Irrational Atheist: Dissecting the Unholy Trinity of Dawkins, Harris, and Hitchens [Hardcover]

Vox Day

Hardcover: 320 pages

Publisher: Benbella Books; First Edition edition (February 1, 2008)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1933771364

ISBN-13: 978-1933771366

A perceptive examination of modern day atheism, this book challenges the argument that religion and reason are fundamentally at odds—a contention made by three prominent scholars on atheism: Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, and Sam Harris. While other religious apologetics have challenged atheism on theological or biblical grounds, this book fights fire with fire, disproving the scholars' logic through modern, secular reason. Rigorously documented and supported by hard factual data, this careful analysis is critical reading for any religious person seeking to rebut the assertions of new atheists and essential information for any open-minded atheist who wants his beliefs to stand on firm ground.

This trio of New Atheists, this Unholy Trinity, is a collection of faux-intellectual frauds utilizing pseudoscientific sleight of hand in order to falsely claim that religious faith is inherently dangerous and has no place in the modern world. I am saying that they are wrong, they are reliably, verifiably and factually incorrect. Richard Dawkins is wrong. Daniel C. Dennett is wrong. Christopher Hitchens is drunk, and he’s wrong. Michel Onfray is French, and he’s wrong. Sam Harris is so superlatively wrong that it will require the development of esoteric mathematics operating simultaneously in multiple dimensions to fully comprehend the orders of magnitude of his wrongness.” (Vox Day; The Irrational Atheist: Dissecting the Unholy Trinity of Dawkins, Harris, and Hitchens, pp. 13-14)

Lost Sheep, Lost Souls -- The good shepherd who guides

Whenever some Christians hear the word "lost" or think of a "lost sheep" we often imagine a sinner. The word "lost" has shrunk in our minds to mean someone who has lost his moral way. But in the Bible it is more than that. It is used as a description of the human condition.

The Bible view of human life is a pitying one: We are seen as dust, for instance. Pitiable dust who live a short span of a mere 70-120 years. Nothing compared to the eternal life of God. We are seen as walking on a road and seeing only a few steps before us. Even then, we walk in darkness and can walk one step at a time. No matter how wise we think we are, we are like little children. We think we know how life works and we do not.

That is exactly how human life is. Humans, especially those who consider themselves shrewd and in-the-know, do not know the way the world works. There are programs, old wives tales, magazines telling us how to keep sane, get a man, have a perfect marriage, live healthily, control our future, get the best job, avoid the obstacles of life. With all this knowledge we still have no control of our lives. We walk around doing so-called intelligent things but God considers such things stupid. We walk around attempting to stave off death. We spend our money on what doesn't profit us because we have been taught by human experience, education, or friends that we should have these things.

God sees us as little sheep walking around accidentally falling into traps, accidentally being eaten by wolves, being preyed on by lions, being snared by cruel people, demons, or even our own so-called wisdom and slickness like sheep sneaking out of a locked pen not realizing that the rules and the edges of the fold were made to protect us. In short, we are stubborn, pigheaded, blind, and prone to think we know the answer when we don't know the first thing about how the world works. We need a shepherd.

I don't know if lost sheep can really come back to their master. They're lost, aren't they? And like most of the world, they don't know they are lost. They have no Shepherd directing their path. When a lost sheep is back with his master, he realizes how utterly lost he was. Not just morally lost and "missing the mark" (the definition of "hamartia" the Greek word for sin.) Not just lost in trespasses (walking into a dangerous or illegal field where one doesn't belong.) Not just lost in iniquity (treating sins partially, excusing one's self or one's friends while judging others for the same sin.) But lost in how and where we look for worth, lost in where we look for true food, lost in our notion of what we consider true food, lost in where we search for love. And especially lost in how we walk the road of life.

Psalm 23 is a psalm that shows us the importance of having a life with a Good Shepherd who guides us. We must not limit the importance of having a Good Shepherd who knows the way we should go. How wonderful it is to have a Shepherd who tells us what to eat for our own bodies! How wonderful to have a Lord who tells us through dreams or in our spirit what medicines we should take, what strangers we should avoid, what publisher to send our book to, what house we should buy, where we should live! Most people don't think God is that close to us. But the Bible tells us hat God cares about everything in our lives. We must grow to trust Him to guide us in small and great things. We must believe He loves us so much... so very much.

The Bible is our guide to life, and the Lord is our Shepherd. He is within us directing us as we read His word.

If you don't believe me when I tell you about things on earth, how will you believe me when I tell you about things in heaven? John 3:12

This is what the LORD says--your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. Isaiah 48:17

I know, O LORD, that a man's way is not in himself, Nor is it in a man who walks to direct his steps. Jeremiah 10:23

For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. 1 Peter 2:25

I have wandered away like a lost sheep; come and find me, for I have not forgotten your commands. Psalm 119:176

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. Psalm 23:1

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go: I will guide you with my eye. Psalm 32:8

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105

"After this, I will pour my Spirit on everyone. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams. Your young men will see visions. Joel 2:28

He leads me beside the still waters, he leads me through paths of righteousness.