Sunday, January 28, 2007

How to tell when you have the wrong pastor

1: Your minister has no tact and either embarrasses you in front of the entire congregation or smiles surreptitiously at the deacon or the assistant minister whenever he sees you. Also...if your minister gossips.

2: Your minister steals or forgets to return the tapes, books, CD's, and DVD's you've lent him, or pockets the check with your tithe (or offering)...you know the one...when you accidentally wrote the check out to him instead of the church.

3: Your minister says racist things as if they were Biblical. Indeed, your minister IS racist and all the visiting ministers who visit your church share his racist opinions.

4: Your minister is too busy to speak to you. He says things like, "Don't you have a friend you can talk to about this?"

5: Your minister thinks the gospel is about telling people about their sins instead of telling people about God's love and mercy through Christ.

6: Your minister hangs out with the richer, smarter, more influential people more than he does anyone else.

7: Your minister has a strong agenda and 50% of his sermons are propaganda gearing his listeners toward the same sexual, political, or social agenda. In fact, he twists all Bible sermons into his agenda. And your minister hates you if you disagree with him on his agenda.

8: Your minister doesn't understand that the Bible is the Living Word of God. He either thinks "the Bible is just a book like any other." Or he says thinks like, "why do people read the Bible so much? Reading it once is enough." Or your minister believes the Bible is the word of God but simply doesn't read it. He spends more time on the internet, or watching TV, or talking to pals on the telephone.

9: Your minister is way too young but thinks he's the voice of wisdom.

10: Your minister doesn't realize that the word "minister" means to serve. He walks about as if He's Christ himself.

11: Your minister is very jealous of the teaching/preaching/healing/comforting gifts of other people in the congregation.

12: Your minister is cruel. This kind of minister often prides himself/herself on her adherence to the Bible. They will say to a perfect stranger: "Don't you know you'll go to hell, you horrible sinner?"

13: Your minister lusts after men and women in the congregation. Often the lusting isn't apparent except to the one being lusted at. My husband was often the object of the lust of a gay minister we had. Very uncomfortable.

14: Your minister is petty, bitter, cynical, and vaguely psychotic. This kind of minister is often divorced, has an issue against women, and spends most of coffee-hour mocking his ex-wife.

15: Your minister has gotten too used to your distress and simply doesn't try to help you. This isn't really noticeable in a large church but if you're in a small church (less than 50 people) and you've been sick for a long while and the minister hasn't gathered people together to pray for you in a prayer session...then it's time to worry.


Of course, you might be the only one who actually notices these flaws...so the best thing is to keep your mouth shut...and slowly leave the church if the minister doesn't change...when you can't take it anymore.
-C


Wind Follower June 2007 Juno Books
www.geocities.com/scifiwritir/Publications.html
carole.mcdonnell (at) gmail (dot)com
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