The Lord told us the story of the good Samaritan. St Paul told Christians to bear each other's burdens. (Yes, he also told people to bear their own burdens, but just in case...he also told others to help the weak brother.) Paul told us to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep.
But modern Christian types -- such as Joyce Meyer tells us to get over it. They use insulting words such as "pity party." Of course, Joyce Meyer would probably say she is telling the complaining Christian to tell herself to get over it, that she isn't telling Christians to dismiss other folks' pains. Yeah, right...like that'll work. Human nature is such that whenever most folks hear a sermon, they listen to it thinking of the OTHER person (not themselves.)
American Christianity is probably the only religion I can think of where a person can shield her heart against someone else's sorrow and tell that sorrowing person "Get over it, you're having a pity party" and yet that person feels very holy about being so dismissive about someone else's pain.
I understand that the words we speak can curse us. A person who has fallen into self-pity because of overwhelming fear, bad health, poverty, bad stuff happening....can make matters worse by affirming the pathological truth. In complaining, they are allowing the devil to use their own words to curse their lives. So yes, self-pity should be watched. But there are ways for the overwhelmed grieving person to get around that. And there are ways for the kind-hearted loving person to be an "ear" and yet to warn the grieving one about not affirming the pathological truth. They can say, "Oh my! It does look as if you're suffering badly. Life can be so hard. NEVERTHELESS, you must try to trust. This situation may seem impossible but our God is good, and He has not forgotten you. Don't say you have no hope or things won't get better. Don't let the devil make you make negative prophecies about yourself!" Something like that.
It amazes me that Christians are unaware of the dangers of wronging a friend. The Bible speaks continuously about forgiveness, and it speaks also about "if you have wronged a friend, go and win him back." Yet, dismissing the pain of a fellow Christian is probably one of the chief causes of broken fellowship. And American Christians are more concerned with how they are to forgive (because they care about their own feelings) than in how are they to be forgiven and to win back their brother in Christ.
How has American Christianity gotten to this pass?
True, Christians have been trained forever to listen to what their preachers say and not to what the Bible says. For instance, Jesus says not to pray hypocritically. Prayers in churches are often pretty obnoxious, nothing like prayer at all. But they are accepted and commonplace. Jesus tells us not to call anyone "father" yet we call Episcopalian and Roman Catholic priests "father." A direct disobedient to God's command. St James (Jacob, the brother of our Lord) tells us that if we don't know how to bridle our tongue, our religion is vain. Yet, Christians with cruel mouths who "speak the truth in love" abound. (They don't seem to realize that "speaking the truth in love is about speaking about some big doctrine, not speaking to some person about some pet peeve one might have against them.)
How confused Christians are! How deceitful deception can be!
But that the basic commandment that we love each other
2 comments:
Oh, how I love the corporate prayers at church which are announcements in disguise. "Dear Jesus, bless our choir's special show next Satuday, May 7th at 6PM in the rotunda at Blanktoen Mall. And dear Jesus be with the youth fellowship tonight at the Walkers' house at 1130 Selmac Drive." As if God needs directions and appointment reminders. :)
You say some powerful things here, and I think it's especially significant that you mention Joyce Meyer. As one of the premier Name It and Claim It preachers, Meyer has an extremely vested interest in seeing any suffering as a failing of faith on the part of the believer. Whenyour teaching says that God wants you to be healthy and financially prosperous--if you ask with enough faith and 'seed the tree' by sending money to her ministry--then you have no choice but to dismiss suffering as either a failure of devotion or a punishment for greed. There is no room for compassion in such a heretical teaching.
It isnt mentally and emotionally healthy to wallow in self pity, but tje Bible showcases several examples of tearful grieving. God knows that sorrow and pain are part of the human experience; just look at Jesus' tearful pleas in Gethsemene. Witness Paul's mention of his thorn in the flesh. I think grieving and suffering are only wrong when they become an idol that steals our focus from God.
Hi Kat:
So many of the folks in the name it claim it world don't know enough of their Bible. Often so many of them don't love their neighbors enough to intercede for them, and many don't stay in God's presence enough to even get a regular prayer answer, much less a command prayer, or an endurance prayer, or a claim it prayer.
I truly believe that in Christ we are all healed and blessed, but the fight for such things is hard. The sower has given us the seed but getting the seed to grow involves more than sowing the word in faith. So many of the folks who pick on those who supposedly "don't have faith" don't seem to realize that A) it's not faith alone that causes prayers to be answered and B) Jesus didn't rebuke the man with the afflicted son, he rebuked his disciples.
Many times those who accuse folks for not being healed either blame God ("It wasn't God's will") or Satan or they blame the sick person. They rarely blame themselves. We can't say anything about God being unable to heal or against healing unless the majority of our own prayers for healing are answered. Most people who speak as if God doesn't want to heal or who speak as if God wants us sick for some mysterious reason or who speak as if the sick person lacks faith....don't usually get healing prayers answered.
If Paul or Jesus or someone who gets 99% of his prayers answered says healing is not right for us, then I will believe. But the church nowadays doesn't know enough about healing to speak one way or another about it. Most of the time we have failures in all our prayers.
I can't really say that Paul's thorn in the flesh was a sickness. Everytime it was used in the Bible it was used as Israelites enemies or demons. Plus Paul and James both use the word "afflictions" to mean something other than physical sickness. (Is any sick, let the elders pray. Is any afflicted, let him pray.) And there is no evidence that Paul was sick. But you're right in the sense of Paul mentioning his sorrow. Paul didn't hide his feelings and hurts because of some weird need for "propriety."
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