God had NOTHING to do with it

Ah gee! Snapped at another platitude-speaking friend. Lately, I've been getting annoyed with these women who think they are Christian "teachers" who go around giving seminars.

The Bible tells us to "be not many teachers" but the US has so many...and they are good people who read their Bible but when they read, they read with all their inherited and traditional assumptions. I had to snap at a friend -- to defend God and to prevent hurt for innocent folks she may meet. She said, "Ever heard that God won't give you more than you deserve? Well, God will continue to give you more than you deserve until you come to the end of yourself and realize you need his power." I was like, "oh my God, she didn't just say that!" So, has the poor woman in Africa who has lost eight of her children in war "not come to the end of herself and learned to rely on God?" Then I told her the Bible said, "God will not allow us to be tempted more than we should." TEMPTATION, not SUFFERING. So she got mad at me. But it made me very upset because this sort of weird theology is being preached all over the land by people who want to "do a work for the Lord." I told her, "Do you know how many people have lost faith in a loving God and have turned away from Christ because of stupid comments like this?" She got all flustered and thought I was being mean. Trust me, I wasn't being as mean as I could've been.

Seriously, sometimes when a certain kind of Christian starts praying for the sick I want to cry out, "God, stop this person!" And when they start pontificating/comforting etc, I find myself thinking, "Oh my God! Seriously? Seriously? You're telling this sick person that God gave her this sickly child because she was strong enough to bear it!???" My mouth drops in horror at how far from the good news this kind of stuff is.

But when you tell someone that she should go check her Bible and she gets all snippy, it just seems to me that some Christians are not willing to move from their biases. Perhaps they don't want to admit that they don't know something or that they have done damage or that they really don't know God or the Bible in the way they think they do. But there's a lack of humility there. If someone tells me I did something wrong, it totally hurts but I DO try to see their point of view. Not many Christians, especially the self-styled teachers. And it just makes me think we should all be eating spiritual meat but we're either eating spiritual milk -or tainted milk.

So, breaking down what she said: "God will give you more than you're able to bear until you don't change and to come to the end of yourself and realize your powerlessness" !!!!!!

Really????

Typically, she is falling into the "God is sovereign" trap. Just like folks who assume that what God does in Job's life is what he does in everyone's life. Or someone messing up the verse, "God will make a way out of temptation."

Yes, God is sovereign but not in the way many Christians believe it. God has made us co-laborers with him. Many Christians misuse the idea of the sovereignty of God. Hey, John the apostle --Jesus' friend-- said, "The whole world lies under the control of the evil one." Jesus told us to occupy til he come." God sows light, not darkness.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,
Again, co-laborers with God.

Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

Again, to know the truth that sets us free we must continue in his word. How many Christians think they know the word but really are only hearing an interpretation of it?

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Nowhere does it say that bad comes from God. If we really think of it. It says things work together for good. If we love God, God can make it work for our good.

But somehow, subtly this moves to God being the cause of evil. Jesus said, "God sends rain for good farmers and bad farmers; he sends sunshine for good farmers and bad farmers." God is a good God. Paul said, "It is the goodness of God that brings people to repentance." The goodness of his healing them, the goodness of his delivering them. God's message is entirely good news. True, Evil comes into our lives but unless we have been lifted up to see some great revelation of God, none of us are given thorns by God. Some sicknesses are sicknesses unto death and James and John both seem to think that those sicknesses are difficult to prayed for. "I do not say that you should pray for it." Even then, Sickness is always viewed in the New Testament as a curse, not as something given by God to be a blessing to teach people to come to him.

The myth of the blueprint -- that everything that happens in our lives is part of God's plan-- has a bit of Hindu karma, a bit of Islamic surrender, a bit of Buddhist submission. Christianity tells us to fight evil with good. God has given us resources: the sword of his word, praise, the church, communion, etc, healers in the church, to heal us. (And no, the Bible doesn't say the minister is the one who necessarily has the gift of healing.) All Christians have the authority and power to heal when they are evangelizing. The power comes to help convert folks. But within the church, God has raised up healers. And it is the faith of the corporate church (2 or more and Christ in the midst of them) or the person with the gift of healing that is supposed to raise the sick person, not generally the sick person's own faith. (Although God will use that too if the person has no one else. But the church generally blames the sick person or God, not the minister.)

God is able to use the adversity that comes into our lives. He has given the church the power to heal. He has given us the mind of Christ. He will give us wisdom to get out of the problem. But he does not usually cause it in order to make us holy. We cause it, or the devil causes it, but when someone dies from cancer or from heart attack or a child is born with an illness, God did not do it. So why do people say all this? Because unbelief is a great theologian, because the church lost its way, because the gospel is too-good-to-be-believed and we have the fear of man which brings a snare. We don't want to look ridiculous by commanding an illness to go.

There are tons of stuff in the world that God has nothing to do with. But there is nothing that God and we cannot conquer. We are colaborers with God. We have the treasure of God's authority and God's power in earthen -- often broken-- vessels. So when this acquaintance of mine went on with her platitude, I said (cause I am really zealous for God's honor) "Do you know how many people have lost their faith because some person said some platitude about God being in charge of all the trouble that came to them? You are teaching folks all over this country and it scares me that you have that kind of theology." So, yeah, now she's p*ssed.

So then, what are we to do? We are to believe. Only believe. EVERYTHING.

More and more I realize that the gospel invites us to something too wonderful to be true and YET it is. Dare I believe my son will talk? Yes I do. Have I been following what God has been telling me to do? Not really, Not over the past 19 years. But now...I have decided to follow Jesus, not the traditional theology-of-unbelief that is being said in Christian churches -- whether it's the Catholic church or the pentecostal church. Let us read the Bible and see what it actually says. And, with trial and error, embarrassments and fear and trembling, learn to use the gifts of the spirit God has given us. We were put on earth to conquer demons, heal the sick, raise the dead, have words of knowledge, have words of wisdom, prophesy. Not the present church's platitudes or traditions about them..but as God's holy spirit teaches us day by day.

I AM

Thanks to Rene from Fruityfantastica



BTW, Rene, I often try to comment on your blog but the way Java and my computer and your site work together prevents me from commenting for some strange reason. So I visit often, I just can't leave proof that I've dropped by.

Psalm 98

Uhm, looking at this today, what draws my attention is the openness of the showing. Is God so visible? It could be a prophetic song about Jesus and his outstretched arm, God's salvation -- that's what the name "Jesus" means-- and literally all the world has seen Jesus victory over sin, sickness, and death.

Another thing, though: singing because God comes to judge the earth. Am not too pleased with that. True, I want all the wars to end and ll the =injustice and greed to end but wow, the Bible says judgment begins at the house of God. God's people are judged first. Judgment, whether in the mind, in the external world, etc. There is this moment when either our hearts or conscience or external situations judge us. Dang, that's scary! But I suppose there's a judgment in which we will be judged as "good" and receive the "well-done, good and faithful servant." How weird and interesting that will be! To stand before the Being that made you, to fully understand the purpose for which one was made, and to know that one has done well. As a writer, I think of the characters I create and how much I love them! I get an inkling of how much God loves me! Yes, the whole world, as well. But me, me personally, the one he made because he wanted a person like me in the world.

The psalm also shows that Nature will be happy! All of creation groans for the redemption of the sons of God. Even the animals are tired of dying, tired of killing, tired of being killed. The earth is tired of being raped and destroyed. All Creation awaits the greatness and the goodness and the peace of what it was originally meant to be. Wow, let me imagine that world.

Psalm 98

1O sing unto the LORD a new song; for he hath done marvellous things: his right hand, and his holy arm, hath gotten him the victory.
2The LORD hath made known his salvation: his righteousness hath he openly shewed in the sight of the heathen.
3He hath remembered his mercy and his truth toward the house of Israel: all the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.
4Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all the earth: make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise.
5Sing unto the LORD with the harp; with the harp, and the voice of a psalm.
6With trumpets and sound of cornet make a joyful noise before the LORD, the King.
7Let the sea roar, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.
8Let the floods clap their hands: let the hills be joyful together
9Before the LORD; for he cometh to judge the earth: with righteousness shall he judge the world, and the people with equity.

Encountering mainstream fiction

Okay, so I did my first fiction review in years. It was mainstream fiction. Romance. Weirdly the characters felt familiar, as if I would know them if they were in my reality, and for that very reason I did not connect to them. Here is a case of reading a book about folks whom I kept thinking would probably have nothing to do with me.

So that was one hurdle to jump.

The other problem was that it was a romance with very little layers. Now, this is probably my issue. (yeah, another one...I'm full of issues) But I like layers. Not that I like things to be pretentious or trying to be deep but hey, I'm a poet and I want words to echo. I want meaning to resonate on a zillion levels. I do not want a story that is quite simply a story.

Other problem: the characters were living their regular lives. Marrying and giving in marriage. Partly from my Christian mentality (and the book was Christian, mind you, and from my love of spec fic, I just have no patience with normal folks attempting to live a normal life. True the book was Christian but these were Christians who weren't particularly alienated from their world. And, once again, I seem to always be identifying with the alienated and the outcast. I simply did not care about those people's normal problems. I like literature where folks change the world or survive it...so give me a memoir written by a girl who was formerly a sex slave, or give me the story of a warrior saving his world and I'm happy. Honestly, I'm the kind of person who would probably have sat at Jesus feet with Mary Magdalene, Mary, and St John. I totally scorn the world. And I'm a bitch about it. If someone asks me why I'm walking down the street beside a drug addict or a transvestite or a prostitute, my first answer would probably be, "Because Jesus would do it." Heck it tends to be.

And it's not even as if I am doing this to be some kind of pious person...I just truly dislike hanging out with judgmental folks who are totally aware of priority.

So then, why do I review a romance novel when the main focus of the typical mainstream romance novels is often to uphold American normalcy -- rich handsome guy?? And Christian romance? In which it's almost always about the good life of good people on an earthly Eden. ???

So then, is it sour grapes on my part? Have I so lost my patience with smug judgmental Christians that I am always on the verge of losing my patience? Am I being unfair, always on the verge of sniping at them? (Because they were sniping at me?)

Strangely, people tend to think that escapists love fantastical literature. But as I study myself I realize that this escapism is often mixed with a bitter annoyance with the world as it is. May God forgive me for my impatience. Chances are, I'm not going to change. It's one of those personal besetting sins of which I'm unduly proud.

Dark Parable: University of St Alfred

I dreamed I attended a college called University of St Alfred. As I walked through its halls I began to wonder if I had researched it well enough. I ketp wondering about the flick Accepted, about some folks who created a college so stupid folks could be accepted. It was understaffed, underattended. I met another girl and the both of us became really worried about the standards of the school. We were hungry and we went to the dining hall. We saw a lone attendant, a black kid who couldn't quite speak well but when he saw us he tried so hard to be helpful. Like a clerk in a store who comes over to help that rare visiting customer. Someone in the shadows who might have been his boss was looking at him as if studying his work skills. He tried to tell us what there was to eat but the words weren't said right. Kinda garbled or no sounds came out. The way stuff happens in dreams. All I heard (or maybe I figured it out from the weirdly near-empty food showcases) was that for breakfast they had rice and they had eggs and grits. Neither of which I wanted. I walked with this friend through the college loooking about to re-assure myself that I hadn't done something stupid by going to that college. I saw a girl who looked really hip kinda goth. She was sitting in a room where some other student folks were lying in big colorful kid bubble suits on bean bags. I came to her and said, "I should've researched this college before I signed up. I worked in the accounting office of my college and maybe that's how I know the college's name but perhaps__" She interrupted me and said something like it was a good college. She knew it was good for her because she got some weird illness that women get when men put on their used condoms and women got it again. I'm thinking to myself, what a ditz! They can tell your STD and no one else could so they're a good college. I said to the girl I was with, "Let's go on the computer (I meant go to the internet) and research the rep of this school.

When I woke up I was very sad that I had attended this school, then I realized it was a dream and became very happy because I hadn't had a dream in a while. The first thing I thought was A) Go on the web and find out who St Alfred is. B) Is it possible that Univ of ST Alfred represents what I think of the present state of the church? C) Is it possible that I shouldn't judge the school yet since I didn't really attend any classes in the dream?

And that innocent little black kid trying so hard to do the right thing...and didn't realize what a bad university it is.


Went online and found a 1) stalfred which is a sneaker, tee-shirt company. Very hip. http://www.stalfred.com/blog/
2) Found a college in upstate NY called University of St Alfred.
3) Also looked up St Alfred. Found this: St. Alfred the Great on a Catholic saint site.
Feastday: October 26
899

King of Wessex, scholar, and renowned Christian monarch. Alfred was born in 849, the fifth son of the Wessex king. He was a great scholar, translating classics for his people. Instead, he became king and was forced to spend most of his reign in conflict with the Danes who were then threatening England. His work as a patron of the arts, literature, and especially the Church made him a beloved figure in England.

I really think this dream is important because I haven't had a dream in a while but I can't seem to understand.

Got this interpretation from Rose Marie on my dream group:
I think it's dead on.


-- In dream_visions@yahoogroups.com, penofthewayfarer wrote:
>
>

the dream could have different levels of meaning.

Are you concerned about low standards that are accepted and passed off as ok but wreak havoc with people? Or that unscrupulous people appear to protect you but are in fact INFECTING YOU WITH DISEASE. An allusion to the pharisees and the horror that Jesus railed against. only 100 times worse. What a visual picture. and the passivity of the woman who didnt get angry with this !

i think this is about the state of the church and your relationship to "her"
it could just be about your relationship to "the church" as you are involved
with her and not the whole universal church because i believe that God's true
church is not like that, she is beautiful!. but this is more what presents itself
as the church and is false or that which is the status quo. it may mean that
your ministry is outside the confines of the church, your mission field
is in the world. if st. alfreds is a sneaker company than it adds to the idea of
your call to evangelize in the world. "how beautiful are the feet of them
who bring good news" Alfred, who i had not heard of, was in the arts
as a christian, making a difference in society amongst both the common people
and keeping the Danes influence out of England. werent the vikings or barbarians from Denmark? If so, that might allude to keeping warring plunderers out of your neck of the woods. Spiritually, that is. which goes along with what you have been dreaming about Gabe and your family and the healing for him etc.

i had a similar important dream last year when i left the institutional church.
it was a wonderful dream that cast me out into the marketplace.

http://pen-of-the-wayfarer.blogspot.com

I think Rose-Marie got the dream down.

There are so many people out there who really need some help, some advice, some standards...and they don't know any. The teen girl who looked vaguely gothy, the little black kid (he looked so proud to be there with his work-study job at a great university) and the girl who was walking with me. Kinda overweight white girl. But she and I were searching for the truth. The others were so lost.

Creative Decisions, Moral Decisions

So there I was in bed pondering my story and two plot questions popped up.

Deciding between the two kinds of suspense.
A) Reader knows, protag doesn't.
or B) Neither reader nor protag knows ...until the end.

Just afraid "secret" will be guessed by astute reader, or reader who looks at last few pages of book.I might have to hide the "big reveal" at the end in such a way that some geeky "read-the ending-before I-finish-it reader can't spoil it. It's not such a big issue, not like a mystery, but it's important in its own way. In WF some readers-- depending on their suspicious minds-- suspected the baddie instantly. In this, ...no baddies, just human frailties. And I'm wondering if I really have a villain, per se. It's not like me to make a person totally guiltym and sinful. I like post-modern types who have a little of this badness but are really more weak than evil.
I don't even think they'd be looking for that particular Who-is-Ephan's dad issue. It would never occur to them. It's a bit of a surprise that suddenly sheds light on some-but-not-all of what's gone on before. But still, I'd like them to find out about that particular aspect at the time my protag does. Then there's something else that is hidden from protag that protag never really discovers. Don't know about that.

Readers might want protag to know what they know. Ah, the trials of manipulating the reader! In short, a warrior is the king's son but the king's other sons don't know it. When does warrior's secret son find out? Does reader know when he finds out? What do his brothers know and when? When does narrator spill the beans to readers, when king tells secret son? That's the first creative quandary.

Other suspense:
Deciding if I will allow a main character -- not THE main character-- to have an evil side. Should he take part in the rape of a character?

I've already written that the bad guy has done it. But it's also possible that this particular main character also is involved. And that would mean maligning his character. I rather like him being noble. He's a good person. But if I involve him in this rape, it'll add some suspense and it'll bring a lot of grief into the story. And I can't help it. I love dealing with grief. But am I getting too nihilistic? Too angsty? Gotta think.

And, of course, if good guy is part of the rape that takes place, then that adds another decision about another kind of suspense. The rapist and the raped know about the incident...but the protag-- the husband of the raped girl and the son of the rapist-- doesn't know. Should he know? So...thinking.... Will see. Don't want to get too complicated or make men all evil.

Weekend Movie-Viewing

Saw Tea and Sympathy with John Kerr and Deborah Kerr. Loved it. Guy who does non-masculine thing is called sister boy by all the macho frats. The housemaster's wife is only supposed to give him (and all the sad boys) tea and sympathy. But no! She gets too emotionally involved and actually starts caring. A no-no in this world. In the end, she feels it's up to her to make him trust his masculinity...which means, well...."In the future when you speak of this -- and you will-- be kind." Remembered again how cruel the world can be, how the herd mind works and how people reject those who are different. Reminded myself that Constant Tower was about alienation. Psal's and Maharai's and Ephan's especially. And how the rejected form little worlds by themselves.

Saw a Bollywood flick called Ghajini which is a lot like Memento. Not the backward storytelling thing but still some disjointed storytelling. Sanjay (played by Bollywood mega-heartthrob Amir Khan) falls in love with a woman who turns out to be a saint. Before he tells her he's a millionaire who's only pretending to be rich because he wants to be loved by himself, she runs afoul of a bad guy who is in the "take-kidney-from-young-girls-for-money-then-turn-them-into-prostitutes-for-human-trafficking" biz. Bad guy kills her and seriously messes up Sanjay leaving Sanjay with only 15 minutes short-term memory. Now Sanjay has to find bad guy and -- with his handy photos with names and ID scrawled on them-- kill him. Whenever he's in love or remembering the past, there's a whole lotta bollywood dancing and singing. But it really does work as a good mystery. Very tense.

Saw a bit of Ratatouille.

Saw Ground Zero. Cause I have a mega-crush on Aaron Eckhart and totally adore Ben Kingsley. There was this thing called the Icarus project which trained FBI folks to be profilers. Unfortunately, it messes folks up. And now we have a serial killer killer running about chasing Suspect Zero (Ben's character) and other serial killers. Not that the FBI really wants to save serial killers. But poor Aaron is not too sane either. Those FBI profiling lessons/techniques certainly messes folks up. Liked this too.

So wanted to see Masquerade with Rob Lowe. It's a good little mystery flick but it was on a channel I don't have. Made me so want to see it again. Haven't seen it in years.

Saw My Life as a Dog. Kid stuck living with other folks and what he goes through. Tough to sit through a film about separation. I find it very hard to sit through films about kids suffering. Had a tough time watching such films as Rabbit-Proof Fence. But I especially tense up in films about kids with dying parents or stories where some separation occurs. It's quite bittersweet though and although it brought back so much of the grief I had in Jamaica when I was shifted around from family member to family member --thus utterly ruining my ability to feel part of any group (which is a good thing, I'm beginning to believe)-- in its weird little way made me feel happy about my tendency to eccentricity. Makes me see why I love my flaky friends so much, and makes me not so ashamed of my own flakiness. Not a bad weekend.

Psalm 97

Wow, what a vision! What a theophany!

The Bible is full of theophanies. Not just the immediate intimate ones but the ones where a prophet sees the greatness of God. Isaiah saw the throne room. Actually, several prophets have seen the divine court. No matter what the vision, they all come away with an idea of God's holiness. The flashing lights, the darkness and obscurity. Together!

People still see visions of God. Some of these visions are definitely not true, but many of them are. God is very accessible, yet in that accessibility there is such holiness.

In this we see that God is so holy that even the earth trembles. Imagine that. Animals, clouds, all creation are awed by the splendour of our God. What graven image can show that?

God is IN His people, but He is also ABOVE us. Immediate and intimate, yet terrifyingly holy. Can one see the goodness of God and still imagine we can "get in touch with the divine?" Can we see God's righteousness and still imagine one can "attain to a kind of divinity of holiness through one's own power?" No. And how can we give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness when we remember HIS holiness? God's love enables us.

Something else the Psalm says: "Light is sown for the righteous." I have to ponder that. Not sure what it means right now, not totally. I know God is light. But the sowing of light? Uhm...

"Dear God, Holy Spirit, show me what light is sown for the righteous means? Amen."

Psalm 97 (King James Version)

Psalm 97
1The LORD reigneth; let the earth rejoice; let the multitude of isles be glad thereof.
2Clouds and darkness are round about him: righteousness and judgment are the habitation of his throne.
3A fire goeth before him, and burneth up his enemies round about.
4His lightnings enlightened the world: the earth saw, and trembled.
5The hills melted like wax at the presence of the LORD, at the presence of the Lord of the whole earth.
6The heavens declare his righteousness, and all the people see his glory.
7Confounded be all they that serve graven images, that boast themselves of idols: worship him, all ye gods.
8Zion heard, and was glad; and the daughters of Judah rejoiced because of thy judgments, O LORD.
9For thou, LORD, art high above all the earth: thou art exalted far above all gods.
10Ye that love the LORD, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked.
11Light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart.
12Rejoice in the LORD, ye righteous; and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.

Psalm 96

I wonder. . . I really wonder. What would the world be like if we all decided to obey this psalm every time we read it. What if, for instance, I decided to do as the Psalmist commanded and sing or write a new song?

For those who don't write we can take the song at face value. We could learn to "sing a new song." We would go to our hymnbook or to youtube and choose a new song to learn.

What about we writers? Every coupla years or so the hymn society -- which doesn't usually publish hymns-- have a hymn contest. But even if they don't have the contest, couldn't we write a hymn or a song for our church?

I like poetry. God keeps doing new things in my life everyday. I keep hearing about new aspects of him, discovering new ways in which he does wonders. What if I decided to write a hymn now? And what if, next time I read this, I also wrote another hymn? And what if I did that all that time? And what if everyone who read this psalm did it?

Psalm 96

1O sing unto the LORD a new song: sing unto the LORD, all the earth.
2Sing unto the LORD, bless his name; shew forth his salvation from day to day.
3Declare his glory among the heathen, his wonders among all people.
4For the LORD is great, and greatly to be praised: he is to be feared above all Gods.
5For all the gods of the nations are idols: but the LORD made the heavens.
6Honour and majesty are before him: strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.
7Give unto the LORD, O ye kindreds of the people, give unto the LORD glory and strength.
8Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come into his courts.
9O worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness: fear before him, all the earth.
10Say among the heathen that the LORD reigneth: the world also shall be established that it shall not be moved: he shall judge the people righteously.
11Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad; let the sea roar, and the fulness thereof.
12Let the field be joyful, and all that is therein: then shall all the trees of the wood rejoice
13Before the LORD: for he cometh, for he cometh to judge the earth: he shall judge the world with righteousness, and the people with his truth.

Psalm 95

I love this psalm. It's one hubby and I often sing at night.

It's a psalm that invites us to sing.
Singing is such a part of the Jewish and Christian tradition. In other religions, there is singing of course. But the singing is a bit different, I think. In those religions, the singing is limited to certain people, situations, or clerical positions. But this Psalm invites us all to sing. And how? Joyfully? With thanksgiving?

So, why should we sing? Because God is a GREAT God. Not a pale wimpy ineffectual God. But the God who made everything, who cares for everything, who upholds all of creation with his hand. This is the God who is near us and in us and God-with-us.

We are told to kneel before our maker. Elsewhere the Bible tells us to sing and clap our hands, to dance before God, to jump up and down with joy, to shout to God, to lift up holy hands. So we can sing anywhere, and folks who love the Lord generally go about singing during the day. It is that rare Christian who does not sing at least a couple times during the week. But we are also to kneel before him, as a sheep kneels. (Yep, sheep kneel. Very cute.)

Then the psalm becomes serious. We are warned not to harden our hearts when God speaks to us. People are always saying that God doesn't speak to them, but this is not true. The Bible tells us that God's sheep hear his voice. God doesn't lie. If God says his sheep hear his voice and we say we don't hear him, then either we're not his sheep or we hear his voice and dismiss it by hardening our voice.

The psalmist reminds the reader of the provocation when folks heard and dismissed God's voice. God was urging his people to believe and to trust him but they could not enter into the physical rest he had created for them. So he vowed that --because of their distrust of his power and their distrust that the God of the whole universe was helping them-- they would not enter into the spiritual rest he had created for them.

Oh Lord, don't let me harden my heart against you. Let me always choose to have faith in your love, your power, and your care for this little sheep...even though you're the God of all the universe. You, God, see me."

Psalm 95

1O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation.
2Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms.
3For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods.
4In his hand are the deep places of the earth: the strength of the hills is his also.
5The sea is his, and he made it: and his hands formed the dry land.
6O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker.
7For he is our God; and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. To day if ye will hear his voice,
8Harden not your heart, as in the provocation, and as in the day of temptation in the wilderness:
9When your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my work.
10Forty years long was I grieved with this generation, and said, It is a people that do err in their heart, and they have not known my ways:
11Unto whom I sware in my wrath that they should not enter into my rest.

Sex-grief, forgiveness, fiction

Am thinking stuff I have to do today.

First, I have to write one of Carole McDonnell's trademarked angsty sex scenes. Yep, I trademarked them myself. In real life, sex is often full of angst. In romance novels, one sees sex as full of hope, pleasure, joy, pleasure, excitement, fullness. But in real life, it is often laden withfurtiveness, unforgiveness, grief, depression, doubt, self-loathing, self-rejection. Folks I know whose kids have died have had to learn to attempt sex again. So I have to do a scene today where my physically disabled somewhat self-loathing male character makes love to his wife the first time -- a girl whose family his family has killed. What will this sex scene be like? Lord knows. I put a placemarker scene in and have been attempting to write this thing for a while. So, to day am gonna attempt to commit to it. Am hoping God helps me to make that scene powerful. Then I have to jump a coupla hundred pages again and do the final forgiveness scenes between another main character and the king who destroyed her family. What to do? God help me.

Second, somewhat connected: am gonna attempt to begin reading The Last Women Standing. I rarely read romance novels. They don't do much for me. This is written by a Christian black author so it'll probably attempt to touch my heart. It's about a woman who is in battle with another woman for her husband. Not something I've experienced. And the truth is I really don't like fiction all that much. But I gotta do what I gotta do: which is? Try to read more fiction.

Third, am going to set about to forgive my son's former friend Dayron. I have disliked Dayron for the past 8 or so years. He entered my son's life at a time when older son was attempting to deal with younger son's issues. Dayron told older son that younger son's issues had "ruined his life." It was like fuel added to a fire at the perfectly wrong time. Teenagers have a bad effect on each other. And the effect of this kid on my kid -- and my family-- by turning away my older son's empathy, love, compassion toward his older brother...and leaving us with a resentful kid. We've tried to work on this. But Lord knows. I should try to work on a book that shows this kind of thing. Not many novels show that. Will see. First I have to finish the Constant Tower.

Nemesis

Am thinking of this story from the Bible. It's a story of Nemesis, the Roman goddess of vengeance. Her name comes from the same root word which means "to give what is due." As a lover of Greek tragedies, I loved the relentlessness of Nemesis. I suppose she's related spiritually to the idea of karma. Folks get what is due to them. The goddess seems to be more interesting when she gives bad folks what they're due -- the fruition of the evil seeds they've sown-- than when she gives good folks the stuff they're due. Perhaps in the grand scheme of things she never found that many good folks. Who knows? But in modern America the word has narrowed even more, Nemesis is now a human villain who challenges a bad person. "So and so is my nemesis," etc.



In the Bible story, Paul is saved from a shipwreck. This is miraculous enough. But then as he is building a fire a snake comes out and latches onto his hand. The chief immediately thinks that Nemesis is relentless. Sure, it looks as if the guy's gotten away from vengeance but although the stormy tempest didn't do the job Nemesis had intended, Nemesis gets the nearest weapon...a poisonous viper.. to finish the job the storm had hopelessly botched. The relentlessness of Nemesis is something those who truly believe in karmic justice believe in. You WILL get yours.

The weird thing is that the chief's insight is quite right. Paul IS a murderer who escaped the storm. Paul killed many believers. But grace triumphs over justice and with a tiny shake of the hand, Paul throws the relentless vengeance aside.

Can we who feel guilt ever really rest in the forgiveness -- yes, the grace!-- of God. This is not mere mercy. Paul is not merely not swollen, not mildly sick. Paul is utterly unscathed. And even more: Paul is given the gift of healing. Isn't the grace of our God wonderful? Now, can I write a story about a forgiveness so great? Am hoping Constant Tower turns out inspired and wonderful.

Acts 28

1And when they were escaped, then they knew that the island was called Melita.
2And the barbarous people shewed us no little kindness: for they kindled a fire, and received us every one, because of the present rain, and because of the cold.
3And when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks, and laid them on the fire, there came a viper out of the heat, and fastened on his hand.
4And when the barbarians saw the venomous beast hang on his hand, they said among themselves, No doubt this man is a murderer, whom, though he hath escaped the sea, yet vengeance suffereth not to live.
5And he shook off the beast into the fire, and felt no harm.
6Howbeit they looked when he should have swollen, or fallen down dead suddenly: but after they had looked a great while, and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds, and said that he was a god.

Psalm 94

Ah, the need for justice in the world! The arrogance of cruel folks, especially the cruelty of those in power. Cruel judges, cruel bankers, cruel adults who oppress children. What can the normal person do with the powerful folks of the world?

Know what? Sometimes one can do nothing. Oh, deep in my revolutionary heart, I'd like to be able to do something. Write letters, argue with/convince the bill collectors, enlighten those in the medical or educational system, slap some sense into rapist ministers/priests. But, know what? Even if I manage to help one oppressed soul, there are others out there who will continue to be oppressed by other creepy proud folks.

People believe that Christians believe in "pie in the sky by and by." Not really true. Mother Theresa, Archbishop Romero, Desmond Tutu, Lec Walesa etc...were all people who believed in God, a heaven to gain, and a hell to shun. YET they changed the world. No, Folks, religion is not the opiate of the people. (Heck, today, it's more like "lotto is the opiate of the people" or "democracy is the opiate of the people" or "having a black president is the opiate of the people." We black folks believe in changing the human law, "getting the right person in office" etc. But let's face it, certain racial, financial, legal, injustices aren't gonna change no matter who the heck is in president. Mammon, Pride, doesn't give way that easily.

So in this case, I'm not going to be ashamed to say, "God, tear the heavens and come down!" "God, repair this situation and if you can't repair it, destroy the wicked or destroy this worldly system."

"Lord, vengeance belongs to you. Lord knows I'd like to take vengeance in my hand and destroy a few creepy people. But I'd probably not get away with it. I'd probably destroy my soul. I'd probably end up going over the edge in bringing retribution. So, Lord, help me know more and more that you, God, see me. You, God, see all. And help me to rest in the knowledge that the wicked will come to see your light."

Psalm 94

1O Lord God, to whom vengeance belongeth; O God, to whom vengeance belongeth, shew thyself.
2Lift up thyself, thou judge of the earth: render a reward to the proud.
3LORD, how long shall the wicked, how long shall the wicked triumph?
4How long shall they utter and speak hard things? and all the workers of iniquity boast themselves?
5They break in pieces thy people, O LORD, and afflict thine heritage.
6They slay the widow and the stranger, and murder the fatherless.
7Yet they say, The LORD shall not see, neither shall the God of Jacob regard it.
8Understand, ye brutish among the people: and ye fools, when will ye be wise?
9He that planted the ear, shall he not hear? he that formed the eye, shall he not see?
10He that chastiseth the heathen, shall not he correct? he that teacheth man knowledge, shall not he know?
11The LORD knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity.
12Blessed is the man whom thou chastenest, O LORD, and teachest him out of thy law;
13That thou mayest give him rest from the days of adversity, until the pit be digged for the wicked.
14For the LORD will not cast off his people, neither will he forsake his inheritance.
15But judgment shall return unto righteousness: and all the upright in heart shall follow it.
16Who will rise up for me against the evildoers? or who will stand up for me against the workers of iniquity?
17Unless the LORD had been my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence.
18When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O LORD, held me up.
19In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.
20Shall the throne of iniquity have fellowship with thee, which frameth mischief by a law?
21They gather themselves together against the soul of the righteous, and condemn the innocent blood.
22But the LORD is my defence; and my God is the rock of my refuge.
23And he shall bring upon them their own iniquity, and shall cut them off in their own wickedness; yea, the LORD our God shall cut them off.

Deciding to believe

So there I was a coupla days ago when this still small voice starts telling me I must tell my son the following verse:

Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (King James Version)

18If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

19Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;

20And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.

21And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Yeah, I know. A real tough one. But, it kept coming to me with that strong, "Tell this to your son!" persistence. So, I decided to be a Bible thumper and tell the kid he should not be so rebellious towards me, that children not listening to their mothers is considered so heinous to God that he even demands such children be stoned.

I reminded kid of the strange dream he had a year ago where he saw a clock whose hour and minute hands looked like staircases and led outside the boundaries of the clock downward. He said he had risen from the dream with the feeling that he had to get his act together. I reminded him that God "does not always strive with man" and that the worst thing that can happen to a person is for God to leave him alone to his own devices and his own evil. It seems God is giving you a time limit.

Upshot: Kid told me off.

Second upshot: Woke up this morning -- about an hour ago-- to mega-noise and screaming out my doors. Yep, a Professor Gates incident right outside my door. Son was standing in front of our yard. Cops came rolling around and asked for ID. Son ASKED them questions instead of simply kowtowing to them. Son is now in jail. Will wait for the morning to hear what the judge says. Am hoping son doesn't lose his job because he didn't show up.

Now, what to do? I have to Decide something. I can go wailing and freaking out or I can decide that this is best. I asked the Lord to do all that was necessary to save my son from hell. Yep, I believe in a literal permanent hell. Perhaps this is of God. Perhaps it is not. I suspect this creepy annoying business might be a gift from God as an answer to prayer. Hell is permanent; jail isn't.

I will decide to believe that come what may from this upsetting situation, it is best for son's soul, son's future behavior, the family. As Hagar says, "You, God, see me."
More and more I see God's nearness to me. Should i believe that -- in this situation-- he's far away? No. I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

Psalm 93

Thinking about those floods that lift themselves up. In the Bible, "floods" represent troubles. Troubles upon troubles.
Psalm 69:1

Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck.

Isaiah 59:19

So shall they fear the name of the LORD from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun. When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him.

So, yeah, floods are a bitch. And sometimes they even have a voice: Generally a mocking voice that declares it will triumph over us.

The floods bring despair. One feels, like David, that one sinks in deep water where there is no standing.

But there is a river! A river of life! This river of life is God-with-us. God working in us, God working outside of us. It reminds us of the testimonies of God and urges us to believe we'll come out of the flood, undrowned, alive.

In this Psalm, the psalmist reminds his hearers of God's power...even against floods. He reminds them/us that God's testimonies are very sure. Very sure. Then he states that holiness becomes God's house. The Hebrew meaning of the word "holy" is otherworldliness. A greatness, a glory, a truth, a beauty, a goodness, a strength, a power, a way of life, that is so outside of our mental realm that it is too-good-to-believe--too-hard-to-believe news.

The sureness of God's testimonies hint at permanence. The Psalmist tells us that God's law is sure,God's laws and truth is ever-present. Faith has its laws and its constancy just as gravity has its laws and its constancy. The world -- spiritual, universal-- is stablished. It cannot be moved. Even if the waves seem to be "truth." We must simply enter into His rest, enter into the peace that God has established. To find that peace is to find the strength that allows the waves to be conquered.

Faith works by laws, just as gravity and electricity works by laws. Electricity doesn't flow through wood. Gravity can be overcome by thrust. We understand the laws of electricity and the laws of gravity to control them but we don't understand the laws of God's kingdom. The psalmist tells us that holiness becomes God's house. Holiness is nothing more than understanding and falling in line with God's established spiritual rules. Those are the only ways to conquer the waves. We can't say, "I like the idea of rubber transmitting electricity." Or rather, we can say it. But it's not going to work. God never says vain words. His words are a covenant with his people. Just as electricity and gravity has its covenant with us. We can gripe and complain all we want but we need to get the concept of the laws of the spiritual realm and apply them.

One of the laws I'm working on is that faith must be spoken. I've seen too often how speaking the negative thing has caused negative things to happen. But, perhaps it's a fear I have of believing in fairytales, I haven't seem to be able to commit to speaking the positive things. I remember several times I said, "so-and-so used to run away from his caretaker into the streets and almost got killed." Even though I had put this habit of the child's in the past, the WEIRD thing was that on BOTH times I said this, on that very same day that child ran into the street and almost got killed. The kid wasn't even in the room when I said it. Negative stuff happening when we speak negative stuff happens so many times! I remember my friend telling another friend, "You're gonna die on that new bike of yours." The next day my friend died in a bike accident. Words are powerful things, and they are part of how the law of faith works. The angel Gabriel shut up the mouth of John the Baptist's dad because Zechariah didn't believe. He would have spoken his unbelief. The woman whose son died did not speak or mention his death even when she spoke to Elijah.

I totally believe what the Bible said, "Death and Life are in the power of the tongue."

Psalms 50:23 Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I shew the salvation of God

Angels have told me several times in dreams to stop talking about my physical pain or my son's and to believe what the Bible says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." "You will declare a thing." "We walk by faith, not by (human) sight." Why do we believe the waves? Why don't we believe that God really reigns? We can we not simply fall into the otherworldliness of it all.

St Paul tells us all the time that the battle is in the mind.
Romans 12:2

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

“I will say of the Lord He is my refuge,. my God in Him will I trust”. Psalm 91. Instead of speaking of the waves, Jesus tells us to speak to the mountain and to tell the waves about the glory of God. I will tell autism and fibromyalgia, the waves in my life, that the Bible says that we were healed by Jesus' wounds. And I will not affirm the waves' power to destroy me. All things are possible with God.

The woman with the issue of blood entered into the rest of Christ. Jesus didn't know anything about her condition, but she determined in her heart that if she touched the hem of his garment (following the word of God in Malachi where the Son of Man rises with healings in his wings. "wings" was the term for the hem of the garment.) She believed in the word of God and SAID -- or "kept saying"-- "If I touch the hem of his garment, I will be healed." Faith in the words of God and action. And, without Jesus doing anything she put into motion the "law" of Christ's healing before Jesus had time to "size her up and decide if she should be healed." None of that. She knew that God reigns.

Lord, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be always acceptable in your sight. Oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer. Once again, Lord, I commit my tongue to speak only your truth. I resist the waves. I acknowledge your promise in Isaiah 53: By your wounds I am healed. Just as I fall in line and commit to the rules of gravity and electricity, I will commit to falling in line with the spiritual laws you've shown me in your word. Paul told us to "water our prayer with thanksgiving" and I commit to praising you for the unseen, for the surety of your testimonies and your promise. As David says, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

It's said three times in the Bible: The Just shall live by faith.
And

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. Hebrews 11

All around us, there is evidence of all God has established: his Word, his character, his love, his truth.

Psalm 93

1The LORD reigneth, he is clothed with majesty; the LORD is clothed with strength, wherewith he hath girded himself: the world also is stablished, that it cannot be moved.
2Thy throne is established of old: thou art from everlasting.
3The floods have lifted up, O LORD, the floods have lifted up their voice; the floods lift up their waves.
4The LORD on high is mightier than the noise of many waters, yea, than the mighty waves of the sea.
5Thy testimonies are very sure: holiness becometh thine house, O LORD, for ever.

Keeping the promise

Okay, so like a fool I decided to promise God not to buy lotto tickets. (Mercifully, I didn't promise him not to do anymore online sweepstakes, or I'd really be freaking.)

Yes, I know, I should trust God and not lean to my own understanding. But in my very nerve-wracked fearful moments, I start thinking that winning lotto will free me from all my distresses. Yep, it's one in a zillion chances of me winning the big one. (Actually, it's 50/50. Either I win or I don't.) But this trusting God without seeing a human way out -- even such a far-fetched one-- is fricking difficult.

Lord, help me to rest in your care. Love you, God!

Obama Joker Posters

Okay, I believe in free speech. But it weirds me out that the same folks who are so against Pres Obama (whom I don't even like, mind you) didn't make a peep when Pres Bush jokered us into a billion-dollar war.

So yeah, I believe in free speech. But this divisiveness in our nation caused by such "grass-roots" organizing is creeping me out. (Yeah, I'm creeped out by the Lincoln-Obama comparisons too. Feels a bit morbid. And that's the reason I really don't like these joker posters. American racism is very murderous. Heck, all racism is murderous. And prejudiced Americans with their desire to "take America back" can be quite murderous. All that entitlement mentality. Honestly, the subtext of the poster is death. I might even add that the subtext is lynching. (Yeah, I'm good at picking up lynching in the atmosphere.) I know folks will say it's "only" about the Joker, and if anything the posters are about madness. But, call me flaky, but the posters read "death" to me.



I suppose some folks are upset because it's an example of hateful folks using trendy racism to mock the president. The Joker posters also have that death-mask look.

So, then, aren't folks allowed to speak their minds? Even if hateful right-wing pundits are fuelling hatred across the land? ::sighing deeply:: They say humor diffuses anger. It makes folks think something's being done, it makes them feel relieved of some of their angst and seething. So, one could say the general nastiness is just a whole lotta smoke, and racists fuming about having a black president. But, I just think murder and death loom ahead. I know this country. I can sense the hate in the atmosphere. I know how entitled some white folks feel when they aren't given the 90% of attention, 90% of power, etc they think is rightfully theirs.

So, how awake am I?

Seriously pondering why my main male characters are white or Asian. Am I just mindlessly falling into the boy-goes-on-a-quest myths I've grown up with? Or is it more personal? And should I change it? And even when they're black characters, they're males. Sylvia Kelso, a writer friend of mine, wants my pulley YA story to have a female main character. Can I find my inner feminist and do it?

So where do my stories come from? Is there some great need to heal my teenaged heart, loving all those non-black guys who stomped on my heart? If the stories rise from the purest part of me -- no matter if it's totally f*cked up by American racial issues-- to heal me, why should I change it just to be a true Black person or to do something for the feminist cause?

I really do want to be awake and mindful. Am hoping I am. am hoping I can be. This mindfulness has to do with everything. For instance, if I'm feeling crappy, I really should be mindful enough not to talk about it. Not only because my whining is upsetting to some folks and I get stressed when I stress other folks out. But because Christians believe in the power of the tongue. If I truly believe God has healed me, why should I slip into speaking of sickness?

I want to be alive in everything. I have so many Christian friends who live by platitudes and maxims. (And heck, most of these maxims are theologically incorrect.) I don't want to do that. I don't want to have a glib kneejerk answer for everything. I don't want to live by daydreams or by news pundits or medical newsbites. I want to live by truth. I don't even want to succumb to sexual fantasies, for instance...so have been very careful with any luscious thought of gorgeous warriors that drop into my mind when am in bed with hubby. The devil is a liar. Lies include exaggeration, delusion, false truths, fear-mongering, doubts, and stupid knee-jerk theological platitudes that aren't true.

So yeah, am trying to be mindful, not led about by the world or by new spiritual or worldly trends, or by my own inner demons, or by demonic entities. Will see. Jesus says the day has enough trouble of its own.

Psalm 92

I remembering being in Montreal once -- mercifully, only once!-- and meeting a woman there who was rather nasty when she discovered I was a Christian. Folks in Canada seem to have an ongoing competition war with Americans for some reason, and especially American Christians. So she says, apropos of nothing, "All these silly Christians going around praising God. Why do such a stupid thing?"

I responded, "Well, when you get up in the morning and you turn to your beloved, don't you ever say, 'You're the greatest! I love you'?" God must've helped me with that answer because she was immediately silenced. The psalmist says that brutish people don't know this love of God.

The thing is, praise naturally rises from the heart for anything we love. Just as snide cracks rise up instantly when we deal with something (or someone) we hate. Just as we naturally whine when we're in pain.

Of course sometimes we don't quite feel like praising. Yet, this psalm tells us it's a good thing to do. We must rejoice at what God is doing in our lives, even if we don't see it. We know God's character and God's Word. What God has said is truth. Not what we see, not what the doctors declare, but what God himself has proclaimed. This is where our victory comes: we praise God for what we know He is doing in our lives in spite of what we see because we know God's character.

Psalm 92

1IT IS A GOOD THING TO GIVE THANKS UNTO THE LORD, AND TO SING PRAISES UNTO THY NAME, O MOST HIGH:
2To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night,
3Upon an instrument of ten strings, and upon the psaltery; upon the harp with a solemn sound.
4For thou, LORD, hast made me glad through thy work: I will triumph in the works of thy hands.
5O LORD, how great are thy works! and thy thoughts are very deep.
6A brutish man knoweth not; neither doth a fool understand this.
7When the wicked spring as the grass, and when all the workers of iniquity do flourish; it is that they shall be destroyed for ever:
8But thou, LORD, art most high for evermore.
9For, lo, thine enemies, O LORD, for, lo, thine enemies shall perish; all the workers of iniquity shall be scattered.
10But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil.
11Mine eye also shall see my desire on mine enemies, and mine ears shall hear my desire of the wicked that rise up against me.
12The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree: he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
13Those that be planted in the house of the LORD shall flourish in the courts of our God.
14They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing;
15To shew that the LORD is upright: he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.

Heritage Mass Choir

The Korean Heritage Mass Choir is a gospel group in Korean that takes its style from African-American gospel.

Am back

Okay, am trying to get my act together here. It's been one of those weird months. Won't go on about it. Sufficeth to say worrying about a kid with tummy issues and not quite committing to refrain from giving him cookies and dairy is not a good mix. Am wondering if there's such a thing as an allergy so bad that the withdrawal of the evil food (milk and cookies in this case) just makes the kid suffer more.

Even so, we might give in on the cookies but we won't ever give in on the milk again. (Okay, hubby gave him some ice cream yesterday which is just very stressing.) Milk has caused us much grief.

Anyway, trying to get control here. Gotta write and the child has missed most of summer school because of his tummy issues. We're also trying to make him drink more water.

God gave me a dream where someone asked me, "Where are the greens?" So, yeah, we have to teach this kid to eat more veggies. Might make soup today. Chicken soup with spinach? Don't know about adding the rice. Have been wondering if I should get rid of all the grains...but am thinking he's quite good if he just avoids milk, drinks water, and eats enough fiber. Will see.

-C

Psalm 110

Psalm 110 (King James Version)

Psalm 110

1The LORD said unto my Lord, Sit thou at my right hand, until I make thine enemies thy footstool.

2The LORD shall send the rod of thy strength out of Zion: rule thou in the midst of thine enemies.

3Thy people shall be willing in the day of thy power, in the beauties of holiness from the womb of the morning: thou hast the dew of thy youth.

4The LORD hath sworn, and will not repent, Thou art a priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek.

5The Lord at thy right hand shall strike through kings in the day of his wrath.

6He shall judge among the heathen, he shall fill the places with the dead bodies; he shall wound the heads over many countries.

7He shall drink of the brook in the way: therefore shall he lift up the head.

Jacob's Ladder

Darra Consulting now accepting new clients

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE



Darra Consulting, a church financial consulting and strategy firm, has announced that it will now accept new church clients.

Orlando, Florida - July 31, 2009 – Darra Consulting LLC of Orlando, Florida has opened its doors to new church clients that are interested in optimizing their financial strategy or seeking funding for construction, refinance, or other growth opportunities.

“We currently have the capacity to take on some additional clients, particularly those churches who are in need of money for expansion but who are having difficulty finding it on their own in the current economic climate. We are currently offering a free consultation for interested churches.” said Founder/President John Ottinger III.

Churches have been seeing a great deal of membership increase in these economic times as more and more people attend services. In “Praying for Recession: The Business Cycle and Protestant Religiosity in the United States,” David Beckworth, an assistant professor of economics at Texas State University, looked at long-established trend lines showing the growth of evangelical congregations and the decline of mainline churches. He found that during each recession cycle between 1968 and 2004, the rate of growth in evangelical churches jumped by 50 percent.

But although churches are expanding, they are often unable to find funding for either construction or refinancing. Banks have a history of misunderstanding the way churches work and are tightening their lending requirements due to the recession, leaving churches unable to procure the financing they need. Many churches are unprepared for this new economic climate, having structured their finances based on the good times of the last few years before the economic downturn. Darra Consulting is a team of financial strategists that can help the church reposition themselves to eliminate wasteful and haphazard spending, increase the effectiveness of the ministry, and prepare for building expansion either now or in the future.

“Though times are tough, churches are expanding, and we aim to take advantage of the low rates and unique opportunities in this financial market to make each church’s vision for growth a reality,” stated Ottinger. “We do not offer a specific product but rather a unique solution tailored to the needs of the church, and so we do not have the same limitations as direct lenders.”

To find out more about Darra Consulting, call

ABOUT DARRA CONSULTING, LLC
Darra Consulting, LLC is a team of experts with over 30 years of experience in the lending industry, including over $1 billion in church real estate finance and over $500 million in non-profit real estate finance. To learn more about Darra Consulting, please visit www.darraconsulting.com or contact the company by e-mailing info@darraconsulting.com.

Contact Info:

Email: johnottinger (AT) darraconsulting.com

Web: www.darraconsulting.com

Carl Brandon Society open Letter to the SF Community

We at the Carl Brandon Society are writing this open letter to our community regarding the recent incident involving Harlan Ellison and K. Tempest Bradford. The rest of the post is here:

http://carlbrandon.org/blog/2009/07/open-letter-to-sf-community-re.html

Searching the scripture: suffering

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to us all. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

My friend Tami Murdock comments on this verse as follows: This is usually the verse that most people mix up with saying that 'God does not give you more than you can take', when it actually says that God will not let you BE TEMPTED beyond what you can bear. BIG DIFFERENCE.

VERY TRUE. I will only add:

A) They equate suffering with temptation and mix up God's promise that we will not be overtaken with a temptation with we will not be overtaken with suffering. B) They say "God doesn't give you more than you can take" as if God gives suffering or as if all suffering comes from God or as if God doesn't want to end the suffering. C) They always speak as if whatever suffering you're going through is forever. Certainly, they never talk about the way God provides out of it. If anything, they blame you for not seeing the way God has provided (usually as they see it.) D) They fall into comparison mode and compare sufferings. This verse doesn't compare suffering. It compares temptation. Some suffer so much the world is not worthy of them.

Two really great sermons

Two really great sermons sent to me by my friend Rose-Marie of http://pen-of-the-wayfarer.blogspot.com

Jackie Pullinger is the lady who ministers to drug addicts in China.

Jackie Pullinger, God Uses the Foolish Things:
http://media.sermonindex.net/19/SID19143.mp3

Other sermons here



Richard Wurmbrand was imprisoned in solitary confinement for many years for his faith.

Richard Wurmbrand, The Beauty of Nothing:
http://media.sermonindex.net/4/SID4325.mp3

Right-click to down-load

Dark Parable: Jonah

Yesterday I got up and this image came into my mind of a cartoon I'd like to make of the prophet Jonah. It wouldn't really mention Jonah but it would have one scene where God's hand forms a great fish. We see the full-blown creature being prepared by God's hand, then swimming in the ocean, then swallowing a man. The man hangs out in the great fish' stomach, squnched in the stomach, then we see the man more and more squeezed then the man is vomitted out on dry land. The scene shifts to the man again, sitting on a hill. The hand of God planting a seed and we see this seed growing into a large beuatiful plant with large leaves shading the man. Then we see God's hand preparing a little worm. We see this worm crawling into the beautiful plant and eating and destroying the plant. We slowly see the plant wilting over the prophet and dying. And the prophet grieving. Then we see the worm die. All the while we see the animals of Ninevah in the background.

Well, totally weirdly. I mention this idea to look about this animation I want to make and then later on yesterday afternoon hubby turns on the TV to some preacher he didn't know and I didn't know. And what does the man talk about? God preparing/appointing the whale, the gourd plant, the worm, and the wind. (I hadn't thought about the wind in my meditation/vision.) But it seemed so weird. He talked about going out to people we don't want to go out to and having spiritual appointments from God we don't like because we rebel.

I'm sure it must mean something. It was just very weird. Of course we saw this sermon just after older son slammed me for being on facebook. But not sure what that's about? Weird to feel God is talking to you but not quite knowing about what. Maybe to accept certain things in life as appointed from God.

What impressed me was God's creativity in dealing with Jonah. He created so many natural elements to deal with Jonah. I wasn't even thinking of anything else. (I suspect I really don't want to think of having to go to people I don't particularly like.) I always considered Jonah a lover of nature, a prophet who was not particularly impressed with humans because he knew them inside and out. A real cynic. But he loved animals and the only way God could even get him to care about nineveh was to remind him of the animals who would die. Because Jonah would care about that. Jonah loved creativity, especially the creativity of animals. He loved the gourd.

The things were created specifically for jonah. To swallow him, to cover him, to destroy what blessed him, to bring extra heat on him. The whale is an enclosing trial but it protects Jonah from the even greater trial of the dangerous sea. The gourd is a temporary beautiful shelter that is not permanent. The worm is that thing appointed to destroy the temporary shelter we've gotten used to. Then the hot wind is to bring us back to reality. I wonder about the natural elements and how they'll be used to judge the world. Tornadoes, hurricanes, strange animals, extreme heat, etc.

Weirdly, about a month ago I was reading the story of Lot's wife and pondering how sad it must've been for her to leave her two married daughters and their fiances in burning Sodom and her home town. And I picked up a Bible study to read...just off the cuff...and opened to it and the author had written, "Now, if the Lord called you to leave your town and family and all you knew, would you be like Lot's wife? Or would you be unable to leave all behind and not regret or miss your home?" I said, "Lord, I could leave." But I wasn't too thrilled with my city at that time. Then for the following days I realized I really love my town and my friends and it would be horrible to leave them behind. Whether for another town, or in a kind of rapture situation. I suspect that many of us are like Lot's wife. If we are founded worthy to be taken from the wrath to come, we will have to look at so many folks we loved -- and even family members-- who are left on the wrath-covered earth.

Still not quite clear. But will see. Will definitely try to forgive my enemies and be prepared to go where God wants me to go.

-C

CFBA: Through The Fire

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Through The Fire
Bethany House (July 1, 2009)
by
Shawn Grady


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:


Shawn Grady signed with Bethany House Publishers in 2008. He was named “Most Promising New Writer” at the 39th Annual Mount Hermon Writers Conference. Through the Fire is his debut novel.

Shawn has served for over a decade as a firefighter and paramedic in northern Nevada. From fire engines and ambulances to tillered ladder trucks and helicopters, Shawn’s work environment has always been dynamic. The line of duty has carried him to a variety of locale, from high-rise fires in the city to the burning heavy timber of the eastern Sierras.

Shawn attended Point Loma Nazarene University as a Theology undergrad before shifting direction to acquire an Associate of Science degree in Fire Science Technology as well as Paramedic licensure through Truckee Meadows Community College.

Shawn currently lives in Reno, Nevada, just outside of Lake Tahoe. He enjoys spending time in the outdoors with his wife, three children and yellow Labrador.



ABOUT THE BOOK

Firefighting burns in Aidan O'Neill's blood. The son of a fireman, O'Neill has a sixth sense about fire and often takes dangerous risks. When one act of disobedience nearly gets a rookie killed, O'Neill is suspended. His weeks off are supposed to be a time to reflect but instead he escapes to Mexico, where another rash act of bravery actually kills him. But only for a few minutes.

Called back to Reno, he's now haunted by visions of hell and paralyzed in the face of fire. And at the worst time, because an arsonist is targeting Reno. With a growing love interest with one of the investigators complicating everything, Aidan must discover where his trust rests as the fires creep ever closer.

If you would like to read the first chapter of Through The Fire, go HERE

International Justice Day Video

Wolves and False Prophets

Shelly talks to Pastor John

Shelly talks to Pastor John

Derek Meets a False Apostle

Once a reed always a reed

I often hear people talking about how St Peter became stronger after his baptism in holy spirit and more decisive. Am not sure of this. His name was originally Simon which meant "reed." Seeing his tendency to be blown about by the wind, Jesus called him "Peter" which means a rock.

Preachers will note how Peter wimped out, warmed himself by the high priest's fire and then betrayed Jesus in the light of that same fire. Then they'll say: "BUT this same Peter, after Jesus' resurrection was brave enough to preach in the temple Beautiful. He had become strong."

Yet, Peter always seemed prone to wimping out whenever overwhelmed by others. Peter was the one who saw the vision of the sheet falling from heaven with unclean animals. He was the one specifically told in a vision: "What God has cleansed, call not thou unclean." Yet, even after that vision, he wimped out and started avoiding the gentile believers when the Judaizers arrived.

Jesus was born to be a sign spoken against. A strange thing for a Messiah to be. He was born to be doubted and rejected all his life. And although Peter believed that Jesus was whom He said he was, it still wasn't easy for Peter to stand up against the fear of man within himself. I suspect it makes his future martyrdom all the more brave. Who knows that at the very moment Peter was saying, "I will die for my Lord" he was also thinking, "Oh my God, people will think I'm silly and wrong for believing this."

The Omo Tribe

conversions, conversions

I find myself getting more and more concerned (troubled) by Christian folks who convert to Islam or Judaism. I suppose a part of it has to do with a sense of loss, that Christ has lost someone (but Paul wanrs that people who fall away from us were never with us in the first place. I think it was Paul.) And a sense that if ministers had taught these people rightly, they would not have become Jews or Muslims. And a sense that if these folks knew how to taste and see how good the lord is (instead of a love of genealogy, rituals, arrogant researching and ever learning and never able to come to the truth, etc.) they would never have left.

I know the great falling away will come at the last days. And I trust Jesus and love him. Certainly, God has been very good to me and has shown me such intense kindness so he doesn't seem to mind that I'm Christian (if I'm wrong about Christ) but I feel this present battle -- this long-drawn out battle-- with the illnesses in me and Gabe are part of the attack of my faith. When I come out of this, I will be as gold tried. But sometimes things get so strange...and when I see all these folks dropping their faith and not really caring a relationship with the living God (being really satisfied with rituals and semantics as Paul wanted.)

I see a lot of these folks with their super word skills and they have a devotion to God in some ways, yet they don't seem to have the same kind of relationship Christians have because to them God is so far away and we Christians dehumanize him by being so into the fatherhood of God, or by "daring to believe" that God could become man. That's what keeps me strong. I can list the weird supernatural or healing or sweet things the living God has done for me. These folks often just list research.

Still thinking:

I see more and more why we need an Elijah Challenge. Not to come to people through words of doctrine or philosophy but through the power of God, through showing them that the living God works mightily in our lives through His son, our redeemer, Jesus Christ. Anything else is just a word game and arguments. But we need a: If Jesus is Lord and God's chosen mediator, then let the bodies be healed, let the captives be delivered, let the bodies be cleansed, let the demons depart. And to have proof in our lives -- if not for others but at least for Christians-- that these things have happened and the year of jubliee has come.

Just thinking... Keep me in my prayers. Am hoping to come through this with a total surety about Jesus so that my faith never wavers. Thanks so much. It's just that all these folks turning from belief in Christ. I ask myself why is Christ so reviled if he isn't truly otherworldly? As Kierkegaard said, "The greatest offense of Christianity is that it says, humans want to believe they are good but Christianity tells us that if we were to get our hands on God we would kill him. Because we are at war with God and with true goodness and we truly do not wish to love our neighbors. We want to be better than they are and to feel justified in disliking them." A paraphrase from Training in Christianity. And one I totally believe to be true. But really, all I have going for me is that God has proven himself to be alive in my life and to be very present. Don't know how it holds up with all the research nuts and semantic nuts, but it would be so good for Gabe and me to be healed...then I would be as Kierkegaard says, "I feel as if I were a piece in a game of chess, when my opponent says of it: That piece cannot be moved. --Soren Kierkegaard

Last night was worried about Gabe so much, prayed in the spirit a long while and felt God's presence. Am trusting that He's working. Hoping Gabe'll go to the bathroom today and not be in pain. More and more convinced that if I were ever in a spiritual debate with another person from another faith I'd go in with a list of God's goodness to me. "I love the Lord because he has heard my prayers." Others may get all philosophical and they may slam me with Bible exegesis that put me to shame but I can only speak of loving this living God who is close to me because I love Jesus. Nothing else matters.

aviad cohen: messianic jewish singer

great autism finances article

over at http://autismsupportresources.blogspot.com/2009/07/autisms-financial-frustrations.html

Credo

Last night was so sick but challenged Satan by shouting: 1) I believe God exists 2) I believe God sees me and all my sorrows and needs. 3) I believe that Jesus is the son of God and the mediator of our sins 4) I believe the Bible is the word of God and what it says about God's love, God's power, God's care, and the work God has done is true.

Others have left off believing one of these things when the devil came against them because of the Word. But I will not. I will stick to God's testimonies. I will hold to God being personally involved in my life. I will hold to Jesus because I love him and I totally respect him. Whatever happens -- even if I never get what I want, I will never leave fall away from God.

It felt good. Life is hard. In the world we have tribulations but Jesus has overcome the world.

-C

Statue of Liberty reopens

Happy Independence Day

The fear of man brings a snare

Okay, I could say I'm a proponent of free speech because I'm an American but the truth of the matter is I'm a person who is finding her voice..finally..and who is doing so because she is a Christian.

I'm finding my soul being more and more freed every day. I used to have the fear of man ...which brings a snare. But more and more I realize I don't care what people think. Or rather, I am becoming braver at telling people they are DEAD wrong. Being on Facebook is interesting for me. I have religious friends, black friends, Christian friends, secular friends, atheist friends. I was afraid of being too religious for the non-religious, too christian for the muslims, too snooty for those who thought they were educated, too emotional for the rational. I said to myself, "Should I just aim for safety and not say anything that will get any one group mad at me?" But now I don't really care. If someone thinks I'm a bitch or a pill or a silly Christian or a mean liberal or whatever, it's what I am. I'm finally beginning to accept myself.

Not sure if this is how God made me but it's who I am now...and God sees that it comes from my heart, from my weakness, from my strength, from my neuroses, from my spirituality. He loves me nevertheless. So today I posted MY opinion of Governor Palin. I said I liked some of her policy and I disliked others and I hated the way people hounded her...that the herd mind is cruel. I wrote this although many of my facebook friends are herdmind types. But who cares what they think? I've lived in fear of man's opinion for too long.

God's opinion is all that matters.
-C

The syro-phenician woman.

When Jesus answered the Syrophenician woman with "not a word" -- with total silence-- the woman persevered. Most Christians stop there. They say, "God didn't answer me." But the woman persevered. Then Jesus said, "I am not sent to any but the tribe of Israel." Most Bible-believing Christians also stop here. The Baptists, for instance, stop here. They say, "Jesus was sent to Israel. The days of miracles are past. Jesus wasn't sent to those living now in the 21st century." But the woman persevered, and we should also. Jesus then told her, "It's not right to take the children's meat and give it to strangers." She said, "But the dogs eat what falls at the children's feet." The woman did not take offense at Jesus' words. Even better, she said basically that God's goodness is everywhere and everyone --even the worst and smallest of humanity-- partakes of God's glory. THEREFORE why shouldn't he heal her daughter?" We cannot give up or use other people's experiences to stop persevereing.

The Subtlety of Unbelief

More and more I'm encountering folks who say stuff like this: "God gives us hard times to make us better."

The Bible tells us to "count it all joy when we fall into diverse temptations." It also says "Don't say when you are tempted that God is tempting me because God tempts no man." It also states that "God chastises his children." But it does NOT say that God gives us hard times. Nor does it say sickness is a blessing. We must rightly divide the word of truth or we will fall into a subtle kind of unbelief.

We are called to heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, to preach the good news of the kingdom to the poor. We are called to occupy til Christ comes. But the subtle unbelief among god-loving Bible-believing Christians that A) Bad trials bring blessings and B) nothing happens unless God wills it THEREFORE a hard time must have been allowed by God to bring a blessing... is iffy theology. A) God does NOT control everything that happens to us. and B) God is often more willing and able to get us out of trouble than we are to able to believe.

This idea of the sovereignty of God has a lot to do with A) folks not really understanding how they have opened their lives to disaster and B) folks not believing in the devil C) folks not believing that their sin will find them out and D) slip-shod reading of the Bible.

How many Christians for instance know that bringing an idol from another religion (a Buddha, an ankh, a Yoruba carving of a God) into their house brings a curse? How many Christians know that it's not legalism to avoid eating pork, shellfish, etc? How many Christians know that one is actually cursed if they have sex outside of marriage? How many Christians know that to mock the handicaped (even lovingly, I suspect) brings a curse? This is not legalism. And yes, I know Jesus took the punishment of all these curses upon us. But does that mean we should presume to do what God has told us we should not do? So folks open their lives to trouble and develop heart disease of other health issues...and the next thing out of their mouth is this blasphemy: "God brought this on me so that I might grow and really appreciate Him." Oh please! It's almost as if they've mixed up islamic "submission" with buddhist "surrender" and totally forgotten that as Christians we're supposed to overcome evil with good.

Another problem is slip-shod reading of the Bible. The Bible tells us:

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 It doesn't say God makes bad things happen. It says God can take those bad things and make them good.

IF you abide in me and my words abide in you, THEN you can ask what you will and you will receive.

If you abide in me and my words abide in you, THEN you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
When someone is sick we are NOT to say it brings a blessing.
Sickness is always viewed in the Bible as a curse. If a person has sinned a sin unto death, we are not to pray for them. (And Proverbs and the Bible shows us many sins that lead us to death and poverty.) But for the most part, we must pray. We are not to go around telling people the sickness brings a blessing. The Book of Proverbs challenges us on this idea of bad times brings good blessings. What Satan meant for evil God is able to turn to good. . . if we fight the good fight and resist the devil. But how can we resist the devil of sickness, sorrow, etc... if we start nursing the thought that perhaps, maybe God gave it to us as a blessing so we could learn better. It's silly to sit around saying, "God's will is so mysterious I don't know if I should be praying for freedom from this" when God himself has told us that Who the son sets free is free indeed! The Books of Proverbs, Psalms, and the gospels tells us that bad times that we fall into might tempt us to fall away from God if we suffer too much or if we are blessed with too much. How many people have fallen away from God because of suffering? A lot.

We are warned not to "limit the holy one of Israel." We are called to go from glory to glory, and to "only believe."

Why then are so many loving Bible-believing Christians trying to comfort afflicted people by urging people to be content with the sorrows of life. Is that true Biblical comfort...to say that God brought sorrow into your life so you could learn something? I even heard someone say that if Adam and Eve had never fallen they would never have learned how much God loves them; they would've taken everything for granted. Oh please! Folks are gonna take stuff for granted whether or not life is good or bad for them. One-third of the angels fell into sin. The other two-third didn't.

So unbelief shouldn't disguise itself as comfort and respect for the sovereignty of God. It's a bad theology which makes us think we're helping folks when what we're doing is blaspheming against the goodness of God and discouraging folks from seeking God for Biblical guidance on how to be freed from their afflictions. IT also excuses the so-called comforter from praying for the sick or arranging for the praying for the sick. We pray every day for President Barack Obama but when was the last time we really set out to pray with all our hearts for some normal Christian.

1 John 3:18 NRSV: Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.

Sometimes it's so easy to speak so-called comforting words. But let us beware of platitudes that rob the precious gospel and that rob the believer of the miracles we are called to walk in.

When Jesus answered the Syrophenician woman with "not a word" -- with total silence-- the woman persevered. Most Christians stop there. They say, "God didn't answer me." But the woman persevered. Then Jesus said, "I am not sent to any but the tribe of Israel." Most Bible-believing Christians also stop here. The Baptists, for instance, stop here. They say, "Jesus was sent to Israel. The days of miracles are past. Jesus wasn't sent to those living now in the 21st century." But the woman persevered, and we should also. Jesus then told her, "It's not right to take the children's meat and give it to strangers." She said, "But the dogs eat what falls at the children's feet." The woman did not take offense at Jesus' words. Even better, she said basically that God's goodness is everywhere and everyone --even the worst and smallest of humanity-- partakes of God's glory. THEREFORE why shouldn't he heal her daughter?" We cannot give up or use other people's experiences to stop persevereing.