Thursday, February 26, 2009

Pondering a Challenge

This weekend is the Whole Women Conference. A friend emailed me and asked if I wanted to go. Since I'm totally out of the loop of Anglo-speaking Church groups I didn't even know about this thing.

But honestly, I don't want to go. Fact is: I dread these Christian women things. I dread the sermons which are often simplistic and don't speak to my particular condition ("Well, sometimes we women are selfish and we must learn to do with less! There is much more to life than money." This once said by two women who went on annual trips to Cancun and China.) Or sermons which are nothing more than an oratory competition where lukewarm spiritual food are served in pretentious or fiery sermons. I'm also imagining touchy-feely stuff, stuff about submitting to husbands, stuff about a female's place in the home. In addition, I don't know if I can last through it. It's a bit of a chore sitting up in my own house for more than four hours...but this will mean aaargh, being in a strange church or hotel possibly feeling tired and sleepy and being stuck there until my friend Liz drives me home. But the thing is... I might genuinely be surprised.

But then I keep telling myself that God wants me to rise up in defiance of my problems. I try to wash the dishes although sometimes I'm so tired I think I'm going to faint. And I'm trying to trust church women again. ::rolling eyes:: which is so very hard sometimes because many of them say judgmental things or platitudes, or they are so much more into "normality" than I am.

But I feel God telling me to stop being so cynical. So maybe I'll go. My besetting sin is to be a recluse and to avoid the world. At the same time my other besetting sin is my terrible habit of befriending folks way too easily. (Ah, the oversensitive Christian woman! What to do!) So this'll be a bit of a test to see if I can actually learn to hope. Or at least I can learn to hang with regular Christian women and be happily dishonest and distance. Will see what I decide.

* Addendum --> Discovered the conference minister is speaking on "obedience." Aaargh. Now I don't mind something about obedience to God. But if she dares -- I mean DARES-- goes on one of those "women should obey their spouses" tropes...I'm honestly gonna puke!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Carole:

To tell you the truth, I've been avoiding women's conferences for much of the same reasons(plus more). I am proud to say I have been to more church functions, these last two years then in all my life and have enjoyed them. Of course there were some highlights that made my skin crawl, but maybe it was just me...or a reaction to something?

I go to women's meetings and I am around young, pretty church girls, and women I am jealous of(yeah, I know) and one in particular who said "she saw a woman in her restaurant who was looking angry and this time without her husband. The girl from my church said, "Where's your husband?" The woman replied: "He just doesn't respond to me anymore, I decided to be free a while and come here alone..." The girl from my church said: "As a young woman, I think God is telling me to tell you to throw sweetness on him(don't be bitter).

I liked the girl's response and she is nice...but we don't know the lady's situation. Maybe she has been throwing the sugar at him, and he's throwing it elsewhere. Anyways, I've heard those preachings too, that us women are a bag of problems and we should be lucky because of this and that...or we aren't going through nothing too serious. I've heard these at conferences too. I like the church I am in, because we can wear casual, comfortable stuff thats decent, and nobody will bash you, there is liberty there, people willing to help you and all of that. But I am slowly learning, maybe its me thats trying to be a recluse...I love being a recluse and I find excuses not to go...

Oh, alright, sorry to spill all of this....

Love ya!

Carole McDonnell said...

Hey there, Erica! No problem. I don't mind spilling. I spill all the time.

I just wish we Christians would stop being so damn glib. And we should stop defining conversations as opportunities to exhort each other or comfort each other or enlighten one another. We really should learn to keep our mouths shut.

I'm still kinda thinking I should balk at this thing...and simply not go. But... God wants me to hope. And even if it's all about humans being fleshly and showing off their supposed wisdom, at least I'll prove to him that I am not giving up on people. But it better be a blessing.

Hope all is well. -C

Anonymous said...

Thanks Carole...if you do go, shall I send up a prayer? :)

Erica

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