Rainy Blue: Hideaki Tokunaga and DBSK

General Update

I made it to age 50!!!! YAY!!!! I hadn't thought I would. But now I know I can make it even to 100. What a blessing it was to be 50! Anyway, it's interesting. Age makes one finally develop the courage of one's convictions in so many things. I've always wished I fell into the herd mind more easily. I would've liked to be cookie-cutter. It saves a lot of arguments. But I'm not perfectly progressive or perfectly conservative. I don't believe everything Black Americans are supposed to believe or everything enlightened feminists are supposed to believe or everything American Christians are supposed to believe. Hence, I get into disagreements with white conservative Christian pro-Bush friend as often as I get into disagreements with black Christian pro-Obama friends as much as I get into disagreements with atheist friends. Woe is me that I don't have a herd mind! Yet I am myself. Whatever that is. I'm not friends with the world...or the little weird groups based on race, politics, etc. And I don't have a man-pleasing spirit. And yet, I've always wanted people to like me. So, at age 50, I'm really reaching that point where I don't care what the world thinks of me...to really not mind.

Which reminds me: STROPPY: Easily offended or annoyed; ill-tempered or belligerent. Touchy.
I've got to thank Sylvia Kelso for this word. It appears everywhere in Onion...and it certainly describes me in my dealings with certain people. (My friends never see my testy side.) However, I can proudly say: "No, I'm not self-righteous. I'm just testy and a bit on the stroppy side."

ONION
I finished My Life as an Onion. It took only 3 and a half months, I think and turned out to be a real life changer. As I wrote the character, I pretty much ended up talking about and confronting my own issues. And as the character triumphed in them, so did I. I asked God to open my heart and to heal it again. He did. I've been crying a lot lately. I've always been somewhat weepy but the tears couldn't really go past my throat. It was as if something -- usually food or some self-repression-- was choking them down. But now, it's like...every little thing on TV that I ever felt like crying about... is actually making me crying. I was watching The First 48 --which is the best true crime show on television-- and I just cried and cried and cried through the episodes. I know everyone who watched that show must get the weeps but my tears never really could flow... well now they can.

I feel as if writing it helped to heal so much of my soul. Dealing with forgiveness, lack of a father, my tendency to close my heart, my inability to cry even when I feel I'm about to have a nervous breakdown from not crying. It all was put in the story and every word and chapter challenged me to ask God to create a clean new heart in me.

In addition, I really like Onion. I love the characters so much. I love Ben, I love Denise. They just kinda sprung up like Pegasus, fully born from my head. It's as if they were always there waiting for me to write a young adult novel. But also, so many of the characters are based on characters from my life. And the others were based on characters I would've wanted in my life.

Of course it's probably a might controversial. (Is it possible that Carole McDonnell can NOT write a non-controversial novel? Nah!) One of my beta readers called it a "weird sweet little book." YES!!! So, yeah, I'm in love with main male character. Anyway, I sent it off to the Delacorte annual first YA novel contest.

While writing Onion, EVERYDAY I'd get a little godwink from God with the word "Korea." I'd get up suddenly and turn on the radio and a minute after I got up, someone would mention Korea. Or I'd suddenly get up and change the TV channel to some weird movie or news show and bingo up someone would come with some sentence with the word "Korea" in it. Very weird, but good weird. It was so funny. It was a little game between God and me. I felt -- I KNEW-- he was saying to continue writing because he wanted the novel done. A couple of the main characters are from Korea...and so I also had to research Korea. So now I know all sorts of Korean dishes and cultural stuff.

NIGHT WIFE
I want to write my succubus story...renamed The Night Wife, after African mythos. But really, I think I'd shy away from the evil of the thing and not allow myself to get fully into the story. Because, frankly, demons can be bullies and I remember the crap I went through when I was younger. I am in no mood to be bullied again or to remember how creepy they can be. (Those who have never had to deal with demons can laugh at this but let me tell you it's not funny when you;re dealing with that kinda stuff.)

THE CONSTANT TOWER
Now am attempting to return to The Constant Tower. Am wondering now if I've been somewhat repressed in what I've written. I don't want Prince Psal to be overcome with anger... but I don't want to not let him be what he wants to be...or what life is forcing him to be. So, am seriously pondering what to do. Also am wondering if I've wanted the girl character to be good. Is it possible she can be truly vengeful? But in a Christian story? Hey, some Christians thought Wind Follower was too graphic. (raising eyebrows here.) So am wondering... But I'm not writing for christians, am I?

DREAM - Dark Parables
Had another dream of fire and rioting because of financial situations. Terrifying. I feel something weird's coming in the land.

Trying to lose weight. Now that I'm 50 and the idea is in my mind that I really don't want to die at 70 because I'm gonna have fans over the world.... I figure I better get myself all skinny so I can travel.

BIRTHDAY
It was a fun birthday. Full of blessings and peace. I had gone through a mass deliverance on youtube so I think that had something to do with it. Just a feeling as if a lot of stuff had lifted from my life.

Day after my birthday -- a Sunday-- my friend, Rain, took me out for a birthday dinner at a local Mexican Restaurant. (The fried chimichanga bananas with vanilla -- soooo goood!) We had a great talk which we always do. She's muslim and we don't get into apologetics because with some hard cases the religious conversion rate is best when we perform miracles. After all Jesus said "these signs shall follow them that believe" and "preach the gospel with signs following: heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers." So she was having this pain in her hip that's been with her since she had a car accident when she was 18. I commanded the pain to leave in Jesus' name. Then my friend walked in -- I hadn't seen her in about a year (God is sooo good to make me see her!)-- She looked very sad. She's waiting on a biopsy. I say, "Let me pray for you." So we go into the restaurant bathroom and I commanded the cancer to die and to leave her body." I'm just doing what Jesus told us to do. He didn't say "pray for the sick" he said to "heal the sick" and we have to have boldness. So I'm looking forward to hearing that both are healed. Which would be worth the embarrassment of us being in the bathroom holding hands praying and some woman walking in on us. Maybe she knew we were praying. Maybe she thought something else. But who cares? As long as Jesus is glorified.

That's about it.
-C

Weekend Movie-Viewing

Crush and Blush

A movie about an unpopular woman teacher who has been stalking a married teacher who is having an affair with a beautiful popular teacher who also took unpopular teacher's job. Ah, we know this kinda stuff from when we were in school. We always suspected weird teacherly doings.

Unpopular teacher hooks up with unpopular student (daughter of the married teacher) to destroy the affair. Very weird stuff in Korea where it's pretty much considered that there can be no such thing as a friendship between folks of disparate ages. When I watch these Korean movies, I realize that there is often something very bold going on which would be considered kinda normal or not-so-outre in the USA. So they're challenging the norms in many ways although they're using the vehicle of comedy or romance to do it.

Anyways, it's a comedy. And it was pretty funny for the most part. The actress who plays the unpopular teacher is so good and goes overboard quite well. Basically it's a stalking picture and we're in the stalker's POV...and what she does is over-the-top. I would consider it is really over-the-top for a Korean audience because of all the societal structures about friendships, women's roles, etc.

This movie did something that surprised me. It actually humiliated its main character and treated the survival of the embarrassment and hatred as a triumph. I hadn't realized I was such a lover of happy endings that to be honest it really freaked me out. This teacher was supposed to be doing a school program before the student body -- folks whom really hated her and her partner. I wanted them to do well. But that hardly mattered. It's not about doing well, it's about enduring the cruelty.

It had some funny moments. And I've found Korean movies are more like American movies than other foreign movies are. But not quite.

Angels We Have Heard on High

Wind Follower by Carole McDonnell

Well, Folks, it's my birthday so decided to repost about Wind Follower. I feel so blessed to have had a book published. It just makes my heart leap with joy. mucho.



http://www.juno-books.com/windfollower.html

It can be bought directly from the publishers here:
http://www.wildsidepress.com/Wind-Follower-by-Carole-McDonnell-PB_p_31-130.html

Anyways, check out the interview at Shades of Romance . There'll be a review sometime during the month on Shades of Romance Blog

The folks involved in the Christian Fiction Review Blog will be posting stuff from Dec 2 - Dec 8. So if something isn't up on their respective sites yet, it will be up later.

Christian Fiction Review Blog
Cathischatter.blogspot.com/
Disturbing The Universe: Reviews And Rants
Queen of Convolution
The Lost Genre Guild
The land of my sojourn
virtualbooktourdenet/
http://gracebridges.blogspot.com/
http://afrankreview.blogspot.com/
http://blog.lostgenreguild.com/
http://disturbingreviews.blogspot.com/2007/12/windfollower-art-loic.html
http://virtualbooktourdenet.blogspot.com/2007/12/interview-with-carole-mcdonnell.html
http://authorgeralynbeauchamp.blogspot.com/2007/12/thank-you-carole-mcdonnell-and-wind.html
http://forstrose.blogspot.com/2007/12/wind-follower-by-carole-mcdonnell-cfrb.html
http://lisanevin.blogspot.com/2008/04/wind-follower-my-thoughts.html


The Writers of Color Blog Tour participants are:
Rachel Lindley
Moondancer Drake's blog
East of Mars
Greg Banks

Other interviews and reviews --from folks not in the tour-- can be found here:
http://www.graspingforthewind.com/2007/10/03/book-review-wind-follower-by-carole-mcdonnell/
http://longandshortreviews.blogspot.com/2007/07/review-wind-follower-not-yet-released.html
http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6478173.html?q=carole+mcdonnell+wind+follower
http://mindflights.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?t=512

Humans Cannot Help But Love Each Other

This is so so so true.
I think loving each other is the "default"

I think love is probably the default in all things earthly or heavenly.
It just seems to be.

Am only speaking from experience and from what I've seen in the world. People generally like each other. They generally aim to like people. Sometimes before they know it, they already like people. And if we hang out with anyone for more than a day or two, we tend to like them. It's weird...but the heart just kinda knits with strangers naturally -- as if we were all born to be brotehrs. And it really does take a lot to dislike a person. And EVEN when we dislike them.... some part of us still really likes them.

I suppose it's because we are made in God's image. God is love. So we are love. God is just. So we are just. God creates. So we create. God loves beauty. So we love beauty. Yet we've lost our likeness to him. We qualify our love. We have strange standards of justice. And yet, sometimes it shines through...that all on earth is so about love.

Yeah, I know this sounds like a bit of a ramble...but it's something I really try to express in my stories -- this natural lovingness we all have...and how stuff in life -- wealth, prejudice, class, fear, snobbery, misunderstandings, pride-- just kinda thwarts it.

How strange it'll be to live in heaven where the unnatural urge to fear will be no more...and to walk around living a natural life -- just loving and being loved.

Don't Talk to Cops Part ! and Part 2

Finished Blogging the psalms

Well, it's done. Last year when God told me to dedicate the year to blogging the psalms, I thought, "oh, okay."

I didn't do it well, alas. I kinda messed up somewhere between Psalm 40 and 70. I just kinda put them in without comment. I should really go back and comment. Or at the very least add some youtube sermons or worship vids. Will see.

I haven't been as faithful as I could be. But God is so good; He'll  accept  this.
Now, to wait to  see what God wants me to work on next year.

Psalm 150

What a wonderful way to end the psalms! The Scriptures state that God inhabits the praises of His people!

Psalm 150

 ¹Praise ye the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.
 ²Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.
 ³Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.
 ⁴Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.
 ⁵Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.
 ⁶Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.

Psalm 149

What are the effects and powers of praise?

Praises to God has an effect on God, an effect on the praiser, an effect of the enemies of God, and an effect on the enemies of God's people. Praise is a two-edged sword that executes judgement. It binds demonic kings in chains. It executes the written judgment.  A casual reader will look at this and think that we are to destroy the enemies with physical warfare. But this psalm is about the power of a spiritual sword. The Bible uses praise as a sword. Unlike Islam which talks of Jihad and often means a physical war. We are to praise and to trust that our words are executing the judgment that God has written.

Psalm 149

 ¹Praise ye the LORD. Sing unto the LORD a new song, and his praise in the congregation of saints.
 ²Let Israel rejoice in him that made him: let the children of Zion be joyful in their King.
 ³Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.
 ⁴For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation.
 ⁵Let the saints be joyful in glory: let them sing aloud upon their beds.
 ⁶Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and a two-edged sword in their hand;
 ⁷To execute vengeance upon the heathen, and punishments upon the people;
 ⁸To bind their kings with chains, and their nobles with fetters of iron;
 ⁹To execute upon them the judgment written: this honour have all his saints. Praise ye the LORD.

Lord you are Good and your mercy endures forever

Psalm 148

This is a Psalm written by the Sons of Korah. I love these guys! I also love Asaph's psalms. Moses' Psalms. And of course the Psalms written by Solomon and David. I'm not really up on the sons of Korah - I pass over them whenever I'm in the historical books without really taking the time to do an indepth study of them. Same thing with Asaph. And yet! What a family, uh?

Their insight in this psalm is that all things are able to praise God. Things spiritual, things organic, things inorganic. 

Psalm 148

 ¹Praise ye the LORD. Praise ye the LORD from the heavens: praise him in the heights.
 ²Praise ye him, all his angels: praise ye him, all his hosts.
 ³Praise ye him, sun and moon: praise him, all ye stars of light.
 ⁴Praise him, ye heavens of heavens, and ye waters that be above the heavens.
 ⁵Let them praise the name of the LORD: for he commanded, and they were created.
 ⁶He hath also stablished them for ever and ever: he hath made a decree which shall not pass.
 ⁷Praise the LORD from the earth, ye dragons, and all deeps:
 ⁸Fire, and hail; snow, and vapours; stormy wind fulfilling his word:
 ⁹Mountains, and all hills; fruitful trees, and all cedars:
 ¹⁰Beasts, and all cattle; creeping things, and flying fowl:
 ¹¹Kings of the earth, and all people; princes, and all judges of the earth:
 ¹²Both young men, and maidens; old men, and children:
 ¹³Let them praise the name of the LORD: for his name alone is excellent; his glory is above the earth and heaven.
 ¹⁴He also exalteth the horn of his people, the praise of all his saints; even of the children of Israel, a people near unto him. Praise ye the LORD.

Son's latest songs

Yeah, they're misogynist...not my fault. Am hoping his rhymes mature. Please, God!

The Gospellers and Tohoshinki

Psalm 147

Psalm 147

 ¹Praise ye the LORD: for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely.
 ²The LORD doth build up Jerusalem: he gathereth together the outcasts of Israel.
 ³He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
 ⁴He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth them all by their names.
 ⁵Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.
 ⁶The LORD lifteth up the meek: he casteth the wicked down to the ground.
 ⁷Sing unto the LORD with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God:
 ⁸Who covereth the heaven with clouds, who prepareth rain for the earth, who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains.
 ⁹He giveth to the beast his food, and to the young ravens which cry.
 ¹⁰He delighteth not in the strength of the horse: he taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man.
 ¹¹The LORD taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy.
 ¹²Praise the LORD, O Jerusalem; praise thy God, O Zion.
 ¹³For he hath strengthened the bars of thy gates; he hath blessed thy children within thee.
 ¹⁴He maketh peace in thy borders, and filleth thee with the finest of the wheat.
 ¹⁵He sendeth forth his commandment upon earth: his word runneth very swiftly.
 ¹⁶He giveth snow like wool: he scattereth the hoarfrost like ashes.
 ¹⁷He casteth forth his ice like morsels: who can stand before his cold?
 ¹⁸He sendeth out his word, and melteth them: he causeth his wind to blow, and the waters flow.
 ¹⁹He sheweth his word unto Jacob, his statutes and his judgments unto Israel.
 ²⁰He hath not dealt so with any nation: and as for his judgments, they have not known them. Praise ye the LORD.

Psalm 146

Wow, what a description of our Lord. The descriptions here don't show us a Lord who purposes to satisfy the rich or the intellectual or the healthy. This God so identifies with the poor and the outcasts of the world that when he declares himself, he declares himself as a God who 

1) Gives food to the poor.

2) Helps the prisoner

3) Lifts up those who are bowed down

4) Preserves the strangers and the foreigners/aliens

5) Relieves the fatherless and the widows.

Think about that. It amazes me. Our God aligns himself with the outcast. 

Psalm 146

 ¹Praise ye the LORD. Praise the LORD, O my soul.
 ²While I live will I praise the LORD: I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being.
 ³Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.
 ⁴His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his earth; in that very day his thoughts perish.
 ⁵Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the LORD his God:
 ⁶Which made heaven, and earth, the sea, and all that therein is: which keepeth truth for ever:
 ⁷Which executeth judgment for the oppressed: which giveth food to the hungry. The LORD looseth the prisoners:
 ⁸The LORD openeth the eyes of the blind: the LORD raiseth them that are bowed down: the LORD loveth the righteous:
 ⁹The LORD preserveth the strangers; he relieveth the fatherless and widow: but the way of the wicked he turneth upside down.
 ¹⁰The LORD shall reign for ever, even thy God, O Zion, unto all generations. Praise ye the LORD.

Common Tropes of a Carole McDonnell novel

Okay, I was gonna call this "So that's where that came from #2" But I didn't want to go into all that. Just felt like listing all the commonalities I find in most of my stories -- The McDonnellian obsessions, one might say.

Not that these are thematic crutches, or schematic crutches. More like blind spots. Ane mercifully, the stories are all pretty novel -- in spite of their similarities.

I mean... certainly no one could say that Lingua Franca is the same as Wind Follower. Or that Homecoming at the Borderlands Cafe is like Constant Tower or My Life as an Onion. But -- for better or worse-- these commonalities are there.

For your perusal -- my tropes.
1) Young couple involved living together in a courtship that requires some degree of celibacy.
2) Poor girl marrying a rich young man.
3) Both characters are usually of different castes, races, religions.
4) Young man is very spiritual to begin with but grows more committed to his religion as the story continues.
5) The girl's father is usually weak or absent. The boy's father is usually strong but indulgent (until some moment when he loses it.)
6) Characters wading through two or more languages.
7) Courting couple or young marrieds living together within a larger family complex.
8) Loyalty issues -- Friends have to be tossed, especially one close dangerous subtle friend.
9) Belongingness issues -- usually the girl has to the culture of the guy's family.
10) The guy and the girl both have woundedness issues.
11) The story tends to be an exploration of a specific kind of society within a society. Often the household doesn't completely follow the rules of the larger society to which they belong.
12) There are usually three households -- all showing diff
13) There are different circles of friendships. Sometimes concentric, sometimes subsets, sometimes intersecting. The characters have to navigate through these and often might have to leave one.
14) The world is hierarchical and younger folks -- especially the married or courting couple-- must obey the elders
15) There's often a representative of the religion or the society who is troublesome or just plain creepy.
16) Someone has a disability.
17) There's a problematical sibling relationship.
18) The main characters often have more than one nickname.
19) Male character is Asian or Asian-ish.
20) They have a desire to join up with the Called-put ones, exiles of society. They either form a little group of their own that becomes their true home....or they long for one.
21) An obsession with death, the afterlife, demons and of course GOD

Psalm 145

I love the many times the word "speak" or "make known" appears. YES, speak it! Bless the Lord, oh my soul. 

Psalm 145

 ¹I will extol thee, my God, O king; and I will bless thy name for ever and ever.
 ²Every day will I bless thee; and I will praise thy name for ever and ever.
 ³Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable.
 ⁴One generation shall praise thy works to another, and shall declare thy mighty acts.
 ⁵I will speak of the glorious honour of thy majesty, and of thy wondrous works.
 ⁶And men shall speak of the might of thy terrible acts: and I will declare thy greatness.
 ⁷They shall abundantly utter the memory of thy great goodness, and shall sing of thy righteousness.
 ⁸The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.
 ⁹The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.
 ¹⁰All thy works shall praise thee, O LORD; and thy saints shall bless thee.
 ¹¹They shall speak of the glory of thy kingdom, and talk of thy power;
 ¹²To make known to the sons of men his mighty acts, and the glorious majesty of his kingdom.
 ¹³Thy kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and thy dominion endureth throughout all generations.
 ¹⁴The LORD upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down.
 ¹⁵The eyes of all wait upon thee; and thou givest them their meat in due season.
 ¹⁶Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing.
 ¹⁷The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works.
 ¹⁸The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth.
 ¹⁹He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them.
 ²⁰The LORD preserveth all them that love him: but all the wicked will he destroy.
 ²¹My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever.

COLORS -- JAE CHUN in concert