Stepping up my game

Ecclesiastes 10:10 states that if your tool is blunt, you gotta whet it and/or put to more strength.

Well, that's what I'm doing. I'll be the first to admit that my spiritual tools are a might blunted. Sure, I read my Bible every day for about an hour. I speak in tongues at night. I command and speak the words. I sing praises to God for things I know he's doing although I don't see it with myphysical eyes. I listen to tapes and sermons during the day and at bedtime. I talk to God all day. Hey, I'll do anything to have my son's healing manifest.

But the problem of the matter is... I am seriously p*ssed with some Christians -- of all colors, but mostly christians who are racist and white-- and I have to forgive folks for what they have done to me in the past. What a bummer! If only, if only, if only, if only I could get what I want, get my son healed, go to heaven...without forgiving my enemies. But honestly, as Jesus said, if the righteous scarcely enter the kingdom, how will evil folks get in?

And truly, my bros and sistahs in Christ, we cannot afford the luxury of a hateful thought.

Holy Spirit, heal my heart. I'd like to pray for these idiots before I see healing in my heart...but honestly, I'm not in the mood to try that hard. Maybe you can heal me first. Then I can manage it. I ask all this in Jesus' name. Amen.