The Uses and Misuses of Inspiration

“The Lord gave me this idea.” How often I’ve heard a new writer say this? Often, this sentence preceded great stories. But just as often it introduced writings that were so half-baked I found myself searching for a tactful way to say “Please don’t blame the Lord for this.”

Don’t get me wrong. I believe that God is an everflowing font of creative ideas. When I find myself stumped in the middle of a story, I will often –very often– shout out, “Father, help!” Then, taking it on faith that He has indeed helped, I resume writing with the confident hope that the new God-given idea will emerge. Sooner or later, it does. Either the idea comes gently as I sit at my computer, or it rides on a very apt coincidence, or it floods in on a creative torrent as I lie in bed at night. (Always remember to keep that notebook on your beside table!)

As Creations of God, in whose image we are made, we cannot help but create. But God is an Author as well as a Finisher. He plants seeds, nurtures seedlings, sends water and sunshine, until the tree has grown sturdy enough to attract all kinds of birds to its branches.

Unfortunately, the writings of many Christians seemed stunted, like perpetual seedlings. Quite often the seed needed better soil in which to grow, a soil mulched with technique and watered in discipline and mindfulness. But many Christian writers are such believers in the idea of Inspiration they think that if God has given them an idea, there is nothing more for them to do than to simply write the story. But writing is difficult, and many internal and external obstacles work against this idea of “divine inspiration.”

From within the writer (affectations, unconscious mimicry, the refusal to touch an idea that “God has given,” lack of research) and without (publishing company guidelines, denominational requirements) come obstacles common to all writers. But the “divine inspiration” flaw is especially hard for a new Christian writer to shake. As a published fiction writer who critiques and reviews fellow writers, I have seen too many stories that fail because of the writers’ attachment to divine inspiration

They usually fall into one or several of these categories:

The tendency to slavishly imitate a parable:
Bible sermons, parables have much in common with novels, such as themes, characters, and conflicts. But while sermons and parables often preach to the choir, novels reflect a journey in which the soul and spirit of a writer argue against each other. Parables aim to teach one simple profound truth, a truth the hearer probably already knows. I’ve used the parable of the seed, for instance, throughout much of this article. There is nothing wrong with an old motif or idea. Parables, cliches and old motifs are perennial because they have power. Throughout literary history, great stories such as Steinbeck’s East of Eden have been written using the Cain-Abel or prodigal son motif. But consider that East of Eden does not slavishly mimic either the Bible story or the parable. Instead, complications abound in the characters, setting, and situations. The reader sees events through Cal’s point of view, thus reflecting the author’s own inner questions --attraction and repulsion– about the character of Cain. The novel’s emotional resolutions satisfy the reader because the ending seems valid and thoroughly examined; in addition, all the characters were loved and all were imperfect. Many a new Christian writer, however, fail because they rigidly refuse to depart from some minor aspect of a parable because “that’s not the way the story is told in the Bible.” When a writer says, “God was on Abel’s side,” she is blocking her own creativity.

Banal stories
The old adage states, “write what you know.” One of the staples of the Christian publishing world is the prodigal “return to self/home” story. Slice-of-life stories are hard to write, because they are about what everyone knows: everyday life and home. Life is full of wondrous moments crafted by a loving and Invisible hand. In the same way, a slice-of-life story must fulfill its creative purpose while adding conflict that entertains or enlightens the reader. A writer has to understand if the scene she’s describing is a burning bush, a dying fig tree, a stone of stumbling or if she is writing something that doesn’t resonate at all. Is the scene an episodic little event full of cute home-spun small talk that is simply taking up space? Is the author willing to change or delete the scene or will she argue that “God wants me to write it in exactly the way it happens”? It is amazing how much “truth” can be told even if the facts are changed. Another problem with slice-of-life stories is that they are conversion stories. A conversion story is notoriously hard to write. Imagine a successful worldly character returning home. She feels vaguely empty and rootless. At last, the homecoming to good kind-hearted and holy Grandma brings about a return to old-fashioned values, and the character comes to herself. These stories are always satisfying if done well, but what if they are not? And what if, once again, that old idea of “divine inspiration” has once again caused an obstacle?

Stories that are simply unreal.
While it is good to show the goodness of God and His people, many Christian writers rely too much on the sentimental, the melodramatic or the miraculous. This leads to over-emotional run-of-the-mill storylines, too-obvious allegories, black and white characterizations, simplistic conflicts, and Deus ex Machinas. Yes, praying patient Grannies often kneel before their homemade altars to pray for missing prodigals only to rise minutes later with new (miraculous) information – perhaps an address in another town where the prodigal lies in a drunken stupor-- but when I saw this scenario in a manuscript I recently critiqued, I knew I was in for a book of unreal, extremely perfect, godly characters ...and divine quick fixes. I was not disappointed. After the third miraculous escape, and the author’s declaration that “God does this kind of stuff all the time,” I realized the author did not care about the rules of fiction.

Affectations and emotional entanglements:
Another problem with this notion of Divine inspiration are stories written by people who are too emotionally or psychologically entwined with their works. These stories fall into four categories; speculative fiction which the writer truly believes to be prophetic, stories too imitative of the King James Bible, writings that aim to speak a new truth, and lastly, memoirs written by those who have endured profound sorrow. These are some of the hardest seeds to bring to fruition. Why? Not because God didn’t give the seed of these writings, but because the writer’s ego depends on getting the work done in exactly the way she has written it. As Christians, we don’t need to be told that we have problems with our carnal nature. We are humans and want to show others how poetic, wise, and wounded we are. But tried-and-true modern techniques exist to improve a story, and it is the story that matters, not the writer. This is especially true when a writing project is a memoir. Christians are always reading spiritual memoirs, parables, and miracle stories. We cannot help but be affected by what we read but we must be aware that the styles of these works can adversely affect our own stories. The writing styles of these books often are not like those of books in the marketplace. Aspiring authors don’t see the obvious: the Christian memoir they are reading was either self-published, written by a famous Christian personality, written years ago in a fashion that is now outdated, or was about an event that affected not only the writer but a large number of people. Sad but true, most people –even Christians– don’t want to hear about us, and they don’t want to hear our justification of our lives...not until we are famous. This does not mean the story should not be told or that the idea to write a book was not God-given. It does mean, however, that much watering and careful planting is needed.

Lack of Research
Another problem in which divine inspiration butts up against reality -or is it realities?– is in historical fiction. The writer who chooses to write historical fiction has chosen a hard path. She must understand that cultures, ancient and modern, need to be researched and understood. Research is not easy and cannot be done with only a few clicks on the internet. A writer must immerse herself in that other world until she understands it. Style of dress, currency, names, architecture, geography, tribal laws and etiquette, governmental hierarchy are just a few aspects of culture that much be explored. This is especially important if the heroine is a passionate fiery feminist type. I once was asked to critique a story in which the main characters took a boat from Galilee to Rome. On their arrival, they gave an innkeeper a few “coins” to rent a horse, and then sat down to look at the menu. The story lost me when these Jewish main characters sat down to eat non-kosher food. With unwashed hands, no less. To say nothing about the unnamed coins, the “menu,” the fact that one of them was a woman traveling alone, and the horse rental. The story might have been half-way good (okay, maybe not) if the author had done something to root the story in a well-researched world.

These problems are not uniquely Christian. Yet, in my experience, I’ve seen that many Christians begin to build a tower of works without first examining their building materials. They often use spiritual justification for not doing the hard work of writing. They will often say, “God will teach me to write.” True, God does teach us to write, but since He is a God of love he often leads us to an interdependence on other people. No man, John Donne puts it, is an island. Self-reliance or trusting only the Holy Spirit often are excuses used to avoid learning.

Inspired or not, we must do our part. Although God loves humanity and has saved it by the blood of his Son, I am not truly saved unless I meet God’s gracious act with my act of faith. In the same way, an inspirational idea is graciously given to us but we are to water it and plant it in good soil. A successful Christian writer knows that hard work and inspiration go together. If a writer is inspired to write a story, she should do historical research, learn all the aspects of her craft, free her story from the burden of validating her life, study the denominational statements of magazine publishers, and work within publishers’ guidelines. Then if her idea is truly a divine inspiration, God will give her the ability to use it in a form and genre acceptable to the publishing world. Instead of using only half-baked stories, let us study to show ourselves as good workmen, fashioning the clay with as much care as the Universal Potter does.

Copyright Carole McDonnell. All Rights Reserved.


Carole McDonnell’s fiction, devotionals, poetry and essays have appeared in many publishing venues, in print and online including www.compulsivereader.com, www.thejoyofmovies.com and www.curledup.com. Her works appear in various anthologies including “So Long Been Dreaming: Post-colonialism in science fiction,” edited by Nalo Hopkinson and published by Arsenal Pulp Press; “Fantastic Visions III,” published by Fantasist Enterprises; “Then an angel came along,” edited by Julie Bonn Heath and published by WinePress Publishing, “Jigsaw Nation” published by Wildside Press and “Seasoned Sistahs: writings by mature women of color.” She is currently working on two Bible studies: “Hagar, Vashti and other Scapegoats of Bible study” and “The Easy Way to Write Bible Studies" and two SF/F novels based on the Bible, "The Daughters of Men" and "The Windfollower.” Her website is www.geocities.com/scifiwritir/OreoBlues.html She lives with her husband, their two sons, and their ferocious tabby Ralphina in upstate New York. Easy Way to Write Bible Studies -- http://christian.fictionfactor.com/bible.html

http://christian.fictionfactor.com/articles/misuses.html

Pondering, pondering: The Androgynous Adam

So am sitting here wondering how different the original Adam was from the Adam after Eve was taken out of him and the Adam after the fall. In the same way, the earth and universe God created is slightly different from the earth we have now because the original earth was surrounded by water and had water inside and around and below it...and all the land mass was in one place. Then the ground was cursed, then the flood came and the earth was divided.

Anyway, back to Adam. It appears that Adam was somewhat androgynous in the beginning, made both male and female. There seems to be an issue here with pronouns.  Him and them. Our finite minds can't comprehend a being which is simultaneously both a solitary him and a plural them. But man was created to be plural just as god is plurally-one..a kind of gathering into one. God even told him to be fruitful and multiply although as yet Eve didn't exist. I don't even want to ponder that.

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 28And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.  Genesis 1:27-28

Then God took the female part out of Adam. Now when he took the female part out of Adam, Adam was not entirely himself...so Adam declares that marriage is about finding the other female aspect of one's self and becoming one again. I won't go into the spiritual aspects of how this is about Christ and the Church. The description of this physical realm -- at the beginning of earth's creation-- is weird enough.

18And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 19And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. 20And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. 21And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:18-24

So then they take the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil... I'm kinda thinking it was a real fruit. Heck, why shouldn't it be? Many things in nature are mutagenic and will change the cells of people who eat it or of their descendants. Also, many things in nature affect the brain.  Consider folks who take LSD and see colors not normally seen within the limitations of the human eyes. So I have no problem understanding or believing there could be a fruit that could affect neurons and brain cells. This fruit was majorly powerful it would seem to be both mutagenic toward the body, the descendants of the eaters and to also affect the brain in such a way. Oh, but I digress.

Back to man being cleft in two...Jesus talks about this later.

The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?4And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:3-6

And Luke gives us an even stranger expansion of the idea. Paul later tells us that in Christ there is no male or female. He states that angels do not die and are immortal ...uhm..so what does that have to do with marriage? Is immortality not conducive to marriage? Or vice versa? Gotta think about this. He also goes on to say that they are wrong that Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are dead and that God is only the God of the living. So, is Jesus saying that God is living in the eternal present and so everyone is alive before God? Or perhaps he could be saying that God is not aware of the spiritually dead?  Several times the apostles use the phrase "now that you are known of God" For instance in Galatians 4;9 ("But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage?")
Or maybe Jesus is saying something else we are too carnal-minded to understand? 

34And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage: 35But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage: 36Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection. 37Now that the dead are raised, even Moses shewed at the bush, when he calleth the Lord the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.38For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living: for all live unto him. Luke 20: 34-40

Matthew writes that in heaven men and women do not marry, but they are like the angels. This could mean that angels don't marry and/or that angels are a gender that is both men or women and/or that angels may or may not be men and women but they fall in love but they don't marry or that there is a kind of sexuality and kinds of relationship that is not understandable to human minds.

29Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. 30For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.  Matthew 22;29,30

And Mark repeats it again;

2And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. 3And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 4And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 5And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.  Mark 10:2-9

Righteousness, the major hurdle of the gospel

Paul writes about the problem of our righteousness many times and in Galatians he comes straight out and says, those who trust in their own righteousness according to the LAW are under a curse. This means that anyone who goes to church to be good and doesn't lean or use Jesus righteousness are eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and not under grace.


St Peter tells us: "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen"

Unfortunately, most of the time one hears a sermon about growing in grace, inevitably the minister will lead people back into legalism.

They pay lip service to grace but always want people to behave better. Yet, the truth is we are now free from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and are now partakers of the tree of life. We have died. As dead people in Christ, we no longer are under the law but we are -- like a wife who has a new husband-- married to Christ and under grace. Our righteousness is not what matters, but God's. Our faith does not matter but God's faith because the life that we live we live by the faith of Jesus Christ. All the right-doing and right-believing is done by Christ.

Of course the reaction to grace nowadays is similar to what Paul heard, "Are you saying we should sin more so grace should abound?" People tend to believe that if they don't consciously aim for righteousness that they will fall into evildoing. But the Bible tells us that it is God inside us Who does the work. We simply have to read the word of God, walk with God, and love and believe God is working in us and His active powerful word will change us. It is not we who live but Christ who lives in us.

If you have ever listened to a sermon on the Lord's Prayer, you will see how easily legalism creeps into what is essentially a prayer about God's working. In the prayer Jesus tells us to ask that God's will be done on earth as it is done in heaven. Here is a moment where one can really ponder the riches of grace. Is it possible that by simply asking that God's will be done on earth as it is done in heaven....is a powerful prayer? But often when a pastor discusses God's will, he turns the sermon into a sermon about our will and about our behaving properly and willing the right thing. He does't seem to trust that God's will and grace will help us. The same can be said about asking "Let your name be hallowed." Pastors turn this into a sermon against using God's words in vain. But that is tree of knowledge of good of evil thinking. If we are living in the realm of the tree of life, we should understand by grace that God is inviting us to ask Him to fill our life with His Holy Name. We should get up every morning and invite God's power and grace and life -- Christ's finished work-- into our life. We should -- like the psalmists of old-- tell our soul, body, and spirit to magnify the Lord and command them to hallow God's name.

But, always pastors search the law, telling people what they should do in order to be righteous instead of telling people to understand all that has been given us in Christ. For instance, we have the mind of Christ. The love of God is shed abroad in our hearts. We have the authority and power of Christ. Paul said "the old Adam was a living soul, the new Adam is a life-giving spirit." How wonderful is that! Jesus is the second Adam and the new man, the firstfruits of a new people who are a royal priesthood called to show God's glory and to show God's marvelous light. As new creations in Christ, Christ lives in us. As He was, so are we in the world. We are able to give life to others as He gave life to us because we have this treasure in earthen vessels, Christ in us, the hope of glory. That is a richness of grace we should delve into and study. It is good to study the law and to aim for righteousness but we must trust God to make us righteous and we must study the deep wells of grace.

What, then, is "riches in glory" supposed to mean? When you read the books of Romans and Ephesians, underline each occasion of the word "riches" and you will begin to understand.

The might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus -- Ephesians 2:7

Paul tells

Why We Love the Church: In Praise of Institutions and Organized Religion

Why We Love the Church: In Praise of Institutions and Organized Religion 
Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck (Moody)

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Moody Publishers (July 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0802458378
• ISBN-13: 978-0802458377
• 
  

Here's the blurb:

Why We Love the Church presents the case for loving the local church.  It paints a picture of the local church in all its biblical and real life guts, gaffes, and glory in an effort to edify local congregations and entice the disaffected back to the fold.  It also provides a solid biblical mandate to love and be part of the body of Christ and counteract the "leave church" books that trumpet rebellion and individual felt needs.


Why We Love the Church is written for four kinds of people - the Committed, the Disgruntled, the Waffling & the Disconnected.

About the Author

Ted Kluck's work has appeared in ESPN the Magazine, Sports Spectrum Magazine, ESPN.com Page2, and several small literary journals. A bi-monthly column for Sports Spectrum Magazine entitled "Pro and Con" won the Evangelical Press Association award for best standing column in 2003. Additionally, Ted has written two WGA registered screenplays and an award-winning (Damah Film Festival, Sabaoth Film Festival) short film. Ted co-authored Why We're Not Emergent with Kevin DeYoung. He lives in Lansing, Michigan with his wife Kristen, and son, Tristan.


Kevin DeYoung is Senior Pastor of University Reformed Church in East Lansing, Michigan, across the street from Michigan State University.  A graduate of Hope College and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, he serves on the executive team of RCA Integrity, a renewal group within the Reformed Church of America.  DeYoung in the author of Freedom and Boundaries and co-author of Why We’re Not Emergent with Ted Kluck.  He and his wife, Trisha, have three children.

Adam and his Maker

We aren't given any clue as to what Adam said when he first opened his eyes on the world. I am assuming that when he first opened his eyes, he saw God looking down at him with love and admiration. I am assuming Adam felt the love God had for him and that Adam sensed that he was a perfect "good" creation. The reason I'm thinking that is because God had declared all His creation "very good."

But we have no idea of Adam's reaction to being suddenly made, suddenly existing. I suppose his reaction to his Maker looking down at him is very much like a newborn child's action looking up at his/her parent and at the world around him/her.....except there would, of course, be mega-intelligence and total spiritual understanding of the One Who had created him.

The first actual words we get from Adam are when God made Eve and Adam exclaims something to the effect of "Wow! You did it! This is the perfect match for me!"

At that moment, we feel Adam as approver and applauder of God's creativity and God's joy in that His creation appreciates his handiwork.

What's interesting about the relationship of these two Beings is how accessible and humble God is. In fact, even when God is talking to Cain there is this incredible easygoingness.

We see the easygoingness because God's creations are so chill and cool when they talk to him. When Adam and Cain are in self-defense "blame" mode, they are awfully flip with God. The familiarity is amazing. This is not like the Greek Gods who are so full of pride that they want everyone to treat them with extreme awe. This is not like God's later encounter with the Israelites on the mount where he is so holy none of the people could even touch the mountain. The Creator is so accessible that his Creation actually feel free to pull an attitude with Him. Cain evil tells a snide punning joke; "Am I my brother's keeper?" The knowledge of His loving personality, the knowledge of His sweetness and kindness and accessibillity is so great that even in their sin, they can have an attitude with The Holy One.

Now, I'm not saying we should go around being flip with God but I do stand amazed at how loving and proud and near He was to His Creations...and how sad and how far and how estranged we are from that Good Shepherd, Creator, and Dear Holy Father who loves us. 

A Writer's Worldview

Every writer has a worldview. Emotionally, spiritually, emotionally, socially, politically. My worldviews are pretty much this: this is a supernatural world, this is a sinful world, this is a wounding world and this is a deluded/self-deceived world.

Thus, I cannot write stories that don't have a supernatural factor. True, most Christians believe that the world is supernatural...but perhaps not to the obsessive degree that I do. So while a Christian writer might allow himself to write a mainstream novel without even a whiff of actual spirits, demons, angels, spiritual laws, supernatural events... I tend to feel a novel is a lie if it doesn't include some of that stuff. This is not to say I won't ever write a mainstream novel. But...it'd be a hard go for me to keep the thing straight in a rational world.

It's one of those things folks must come to terms with. Just how supernatural is this world? and Why should humans think it so strange that the world is really way more magical and rooted in the supernatural than we think?

Secondly, I think humans are wounded. Thus I could never in my wildest imagination ever create a character who was not emotionally wounded or a psychological mess. I simply believe life is too difficult for the average person. It's not only that we all know we will die, but we are all deeply aware of how isolated we are from each other's mind. In the deepest part of our soul, we know we should all know each other perfectly and should all be loved.

God gives us all missions and each mission is based on what we feel is important. What I consider important is what makes my worldview. For me, the vision of perfect people and perfect heroes in stories is the main thing because the images are destructive. For me the great evil is deception about what a true human being and the world is like. For me, deceptions at their worst are the slickest and most powerful because they are so powerful and so pervasive...and the deception about how real human beings supposedly behave creates unreal ideas and helps to propagate notions that make people insecure and fake and feel inferior to others. So for me, I am at war against things that are foisted upon the world as "real" or emotions foisted on the world as "acceptable." For other writers, there are different issues therefore different worldviews. We all are called to follow the vision God has given us and to declare what we have seen. To not follow the vision we see or the mission we are called to do...is to be fake and to not submit to one's calling. It means we are hiding some aspects of the truth we are called to declare. When we hide the truth of ourselves and we don't sound the alarm we are called to sound, we have failed our mission. We are all like watchmen and we are called to declare what we see...so when we have Christians who all write the same thing...well, it's bothersome. Our missions in life are more varied than what the Christian publishing world or Christian media and Christian society or Christian politics declares as important. To not share your worldview is to hide your talent in the ground. There is a peace that comes with hiding one's talent...but....well, one has to do what one has to do.

Anyways, am going on about this because I have to remind myself about why I like my books every once in a while and why I refuse to change certain aspects of my character. Constant Tower is full of woundedness. It's a messy world...and yeah, that's how I see this world. Heroes are supremely messed up and no one has that perfect CEO personality or that coffee-klatch personality the secular and Christian world would want us to have. We simply don't. And for me, it would be a dimming of my own light, a committment to untruth for me to write a book with sane folks in it. We humans are not that sane...we are not even half-sane. But there is a pretense and a hiding..and the world likes stories to show this facade. I can't bring myself to do that. Oh well, adelante. 

God as benevolent tyrant

IT is soooo hard talking to some kinds of devoted lovers of God, especially those who have been trained by their denominations to see God as a benevolent tyrant who gives them diseases, troubles, afflictions, torments, legal issues, sick children, to test and purify them. Where does one start?

It is sooo hard to try to get them to have creative joyful images of possible futures when their denomination has so trained their minds to accept the evil in their lives. Why? Because they are imagining the problem continuing and they are imagining growing stronger and stronger in denying themselves and in denying the possibility of any kind of good coming in the future.

God created imagination and memory primarily for us to use the mind for good. To imagine good, to remember good. But the human mind uses the imagination to imagine evil, and they often use the memory to remember evil. I'm not talking about imagination that is about people planning on doing evil things in their lives or in other folks lives. I'm talking about people imagining only bad things happening to them and not having the habit of sitting down in their chair and challenging the negative thoughts and the fears coming at them. St Paul says, "We have to cast down evil imaginations. We have to stop being conformed to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds."

Learning to hope and to dream of good things.... to imagine something good and wonderful and joyous will happen to us, to imagine a sweet God who does good for us for our good....and not a God with a kooky idea of "a goodness filled with bad things that is for our good." That's what we have to do. God is benevolent, He's not a tyrant. Let us fast from wrong thinking, from fearful discouraging negative thinking, from insulting God by making him out to be so cruel he gives kids cancer, and he takes away daddies because "God knows best." Folks, we live in a world where rich humans affect our food supply and mess with our foods, where people kill themselves by eating too much or speaking the wrong things about their lives, where the devil roams about seeking whom he may devour. Let's not go blaming God for the bad stuff that happens to us and then call evil good. The Bible says, "woe to those who call evil good and good evil." Let us seek to see the true love of God and stop taking his name in vain by insulting him with our "piety" and "submission to the sorrows of life." Heck, folks, we are not Buddhists. We are not put on earth to submit to evil but to overcome evil with good, with the blood of Jesus who has conquered the world and given us the authority to conquer sin, sickness, poverty and death!

It is the lovingkindness of God that leads us to repentance.

Indirect Confrontation, Repression, and Defending the Heart

So, I've been up all night. As usual. Sleepy as heck. Headachy, in pain through my body. Fibro. But I got an insight into something. A few insights. First: I never really get angry at people. I fume, I get peeved, I get pissed, I grieve and whine. But I don't get angry. Second: Not only do I seem to be a slow reactor to hurt but I get hurt instead of getting angry. Thirdly: I don't confront people and I seem especially unable to to confront people who have hurt my heart because there is this shame issue with actually feeling someone should honor my heart.

A few examples, if you will: (And trust me, it hurts and shames me -- makes me feel like a kid-- to have to point out the heart's hurt) but here goes:

And I'll name names because, heck, this kind of indirect pointing out of my heart is what I do. I have never told any of the folks what I'm now about to tell you.

Examples:
Katherine sent me her story to critique. She added, "There's a character named Carole in there, but I swear, it's not you." Okay, for me: red flag. I read the story. The character seemed definitely like a nasty caricature of me. I said nothing. Later she said, "You said I should write real characters. I do write real characters." I didn't respond to her directly. Instead I posted to my facebook status: "I wish people wouldn't tell me they write real characters after I spent an hour critting their story when I'm sick." Note the indirect confrontation. Never once did I say what I should have said: "I am very hurt, Katherine, that you not only made a caricature of me in your story but now you're expecting me to accept that caricature as a real person." Why didn't I say that? Because it would have been defending my heart.

Example:
I told Jessica on Thanksgiving 2010: "You're my best friend." She responded. "Yes, Carole, you're one of my best friends." Now, that hurt. I didn't confront her on that. Why not? Because it is quite natural for other folks to have many best friends and that was my problem having a person as a best friend who didn't think of me as her best friend. So upshot: the indirect confrontation: nothing but a slow pulling away and closing my heart in that friendship. I haven't said I am closing my heart but for my own safety I have been.

Example: Lawrence Dagstine once put a post on his facebook wall asking if folks believed in angels or ghosts. Many folks answered. Then I answered, telling him about my encounter with an angel, a demon, etc. Immediately after that, my atheist friend Cindy Ward, wrote. "No, I don't believe that." Note: she had all day to comment on his post.  But, she commented after me. Apparently, we're in some religious battle against each other. But from that moment when she pretty much called me a liar, I have disliked her. Have I challenged her? No! Because oversensitive sleepless Black Christian writers do not challenge healthy white atheists. She would only respond that I didn't know how to be a rational person.

Example:
A Christian friend said to me apropos of nothing, "Your son isn't healed because you have no faith" or "you don't pray enough." At first I just kinda sit there. Then I defended myself thusly, not looking at her but staring past the dashboard. "Why are people often dismissive of other people's pain?" I went on like that very philosophically for about fifteen minutes. At last she got it and said, "Are you talking to me?" To which I responded, "I'm just saying people should know how to keep their mouths shut." Note the wimpitude I am capable of. I should have said, "You judgmental pious smug bitch! You just hurt my feelings! What the fuck do you know about healing a child with developmental issues? Quite with the easy answer and stop judging me!" But nooooooo

There was one friend who made a crack about how reading romances as a child ruined her life. I tend to write romances. I got angry with her. But I never said, "I am angry with you because you basically just said the writing I do is useless and ruinous to young minds." So now she thinks I snipe at her for no reason.

Christians, in general, because they are so often so directly accusatory, are a problem because I don't confront. And the fuming and hurt doesn't go anywhere. When Wind Follower came out, I was slammed so much by Christians because of it. Apparently, for some people everything was wrong with that book. I didn't say, "Why are you hurting my feelings?" Once again, because defending one's heart seems silly to the rationale mind. After all, they were reviewers, so why should I be hurt at their honest opinions? But trouble was: mixed into their honest opinions was a lot of racist ideas about what Christian fiction should be and a lot of prissy ideas about sexuality. One of them even cropped the cover of Wind Follower on her blog because she thought it was indecent.

Of course this kind of non-confrontation on my part is like one's slip showing. We humans cannot help but leak. We're snippy or nasty or cold with people but they don't know the reason why, and because I am so good at not confronting them on the original hurt, they tend to think I'm just this wacky woman who is being cold to them for no reason.

So why am I going through this list right now?

Well, as I said, I was up all night. I tend to be up all night. I haven't slept in about three days except for a thirty minute stretch yesterday morning. And while I was up I got to thinking about this healing service I'm supposed to go to. And the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. And the holy spirit -- who reveals our hearts to us-- brought up the truth of my not being able to confront anger.

Consider: I emailed two friends who are in charge of the healing crusade.But not one word back from them. I KNOW for a fact I haven't hurt these folks' feelings. So why the ignoring? Or is it paranoia on my part? Then there is the actual going down to the healing service. If you've ever been to a healing service, you know what I speak of. Tons of people in pain and suffering, preachers on the podium sticking to their script, worship folks worshiping God supposedly but caught up in their worshiping instead of really caring for the sick. Ministers who go on and on with long speeches and who are covered with pride. But for me it's especially hard. I shall have to sit through all that. I, who haven't slept for years and who am generally in bed by 8:pm because sitting up later than that gives me a pounding headache. I who will have to hold onto an agitated younger son for two hours until the healing service actually begins. So why didn't I just email Richard and Maria again and say "You hurt my feelings because you ignored my prior email about questions for this healing service?" Because once again, it would be about validating my heart's pain.

So, why did the Holy Spirit bring all this to my mind now? Because, apparently, it's something in my heart. All this hurt and grief and anger before a healing service makes a healing service pretty useless unless one gets rid of them. Apparently, I can argue and speak up for all causes except the cause of my own heart! Why? Because it is weak and needy to say "But don't you care about me? Don't you love me enough to care to call me?" Seriously, i should ask...because they would probably say "YES!" But noooooo. I learned somewhere not to defend my heart.

Lord knows where I got this tendency to repress any defense or honoring of my feelings. Probably from a childhood where no one cared for me mixed with Christian notions of being "patient with those who wound you" mixed with being generally a wuss. I'm thinking it's like the line in For Colored Girls about not being sad or hurt because being colored and hurt were synonymous or redundant. Except with me, being raised by a minister grandfather in a wounding dysfunctional atmosphere just makes it all even more messy.  I feel challenged now by the holy spirit to not hold anything in my heart against folks....which means I shall have to honor my heart when someone dishonors it. Scary prospect. But if I want to get myself or my son healed I've got to work on forgiveness and learn to speak up so the sun doesn't go down on my wrath. Will see how this all pans out. Maybe I'll end up creating some truly angry main characters in my stories...instead of just sad suffering ones. Will see. 

Camelot Dream and the Stronghold of Defeatism

Okay so a few days ago, hubby had this dream:

1) He was on stage singing the theme song from Camelot. He didn't know the song but was faking it with the others on the stage. At last, he was found out when he was supposed to do a solo part --a tumbling trick-- on the stage. He didn't realize the cue because you didn't know the script.

So we got to thinking about it. First we googled the theme song from Camelot. The song is basically a song about Happy-ever-after-ing, about Exceptionalism, and in its fantastical way can be compared to the gospel -- the state of being blessed, a too-good-to-be-believed news. In fact, part of the song has the king attempting to convince Guinevere that there is such a thing as blessed Camelot. 

So why would this dream pop up? 

We talked and talked and the subject got around to the death of hubby's sister when she was a little eleven-year-old girl. Luke remembered his stalwart, unchurching, self-sufficient former Roman Catholic father praying, "Oh God, I have never asked you for anything and I will never ask you anything again. Just heal my daughter." From that incident, a stronghold of defeatism lodged in hubby's brain. The stronghold could be defined as: "even when one prays only once and lowers one's pride to pray to God for some impossible thing, God will not grant it."

Hence, the dream was showing hubby the stronghold that fought against faith. It is generally faith that defeats our prayers...but the arguments, vain imaginations, strongholds in our mind. This is why we are taught that belief is in the heart. The heart has to be open to miracles. It is akin to St Thomas. St Thomas did not doubt that a miracle could make Jesus rise again. At least he didn't doubt more than the others. And the others were all doubters. But St Thomas was always melancholy and proud to pessimism: he didn't believe that something good would happen to him or to one he loved. 

Dreams and Walking with God

I don’t see why so many Christians still don’t see the importance of dreams.

Dreams come to A) tell you what's on your mind

B) tell you God's opinion about what's on your mind

C) give you instructions --whether God seals it and we understand those instructions mentally or not

and D) to guide you

The way i see it

God gave humans a way to psychoanalyze their fears, to see their worries,  spiritual doubts , spiritual things they can't quite verbalize"  WAYYYYYYYY  before psychology came on the scene . Dreaming is a tool that  God uses to make us have a connection with the world , with our feelings about events in our lives , with people .

Even if Daniel hadn’t given the king the interpretation  of the dream, Daniel told the king

"King,

 you were thinking about building a kingdome that lasted for ever."

So yes, dreams are about psychoanalyzing and seeing the self   but it is also about the holy spirit showing a person her heart because Jesus came that the hearts of many would be revealed.

During the day, God speaks with the still small voice  but who listens? So at nights --because we don't listen in the day  because of too much tv, too much phoning, too much internet, too much work, too much playstation , God has to speak to us in dreams. We have to open ourselves to the possibility that God speaks to his children EVERYDAY.

Some folks son't want to believe that . It makes God too near. They have the God in the sky the God-as-CEO mentality . They believe God gives us His word  – The Bible—and maybe some advice through a pastor and we follow the leader and only ask for God to speak to us when necessary  and when we’re in a pinch.

But Enoch walked with God. God was Abraham’s friend. We are told that we have to pray without ceasing  -- and that's not just  asking and petitioning and praising . We have to always walk with God. He desires our friendship. He desires to accompany us everyday and to always be with us. It is not like God to say "Okay , today i won't talk to Carole. I talked to her yesterday.”

God talks to us everyday as if we are the only ones he can talk to , because he lives inside us.

Are we gonna go around saying

 "Well, although God's spirit is alive in me , Christ in me , Immanuel , God with us , TODAY God will be silent to me"  ?????

No, God talks everyday

 to us. Even if it's just to say , "Remember to call your cousin."  Or “I love you” or “Go down this road, not that one.”

And if he can't get to us in the day

 to give us his opinion on what we're thinking about  -- for good or evil-- then he HAS to do it in our sleep .

14For God speaketh once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not.

15In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon the bed;

16Then he openeth the ears of men, and sealeth their instruction,

17That he may withdraw man from his purpose, and hide pride from man.

18He keepeth back his soul from the pit, and his life from perishing by the sword.

 Christianity  is about a daily friendship with God . Friendship is discussion and conversing along the way.

Dark Parable: Hubby's three dreams of spirituality

He dreamed:

1) He was on stage singing the theme song from Camelot. He didn't know the song but was faking it with the others on the stage. At last, he was found out when he was supposed to do a solo part --a tumbling trick-- on the stage. He didn't realize the cue because you didn't know the script.

2) He was at a church or an auditorium. Something like a religious or spiritual talk. Like a spiritual/philosophical talk at googletalks or TED or like a religious service. As he listened to folks talking on the stage, he looked out the window and saw that a young boy had taken a car and had speeded up and crashed into a tree. He waited for them to help but no one seemed to understand or to care about this boy. After a while, he got up with someone else to help the boy. Then the others in the room and on the stage also noticed and went to help the boy.

3) He and a workman were standing in front of a house. There were two large big sturdy trees in front of the house. One would have been okay but there were two and it was really too small a space for two such large trees so they were trying to figure out what tree to cut down. Suddenly behind them a tall -- almost 200 feet long-- very slender tree rose up. Or maybe it had been there all along. It was in the street and had no roots but it was soo tall. They kept looking at it, up, up, up, and then suddenly the tree toppled over and fell on all the neighboring houses. No one seemed to mind the fall of the tree because it was so slender, so hubby and the workman removed the debris. 

I asked God to show us if we should go to the healing service and to show us why healing and other family needs haven't come to us. I'm thinking these dreams are here to help us understand.

The first dream seems to be asking "Is hubby faking it? Be real. Admit you're over your head and this spiritual performance is a performance. That's the first place to begin." So that's problem one with where he is spiritually.

The second dream seems to be saying, "You have seen some very uncaring or seemingly uncaring spiritual talk, folks who talk the talk but who don't seem to have the love or the power or both." I'm thinking the young man with the runaway car is our younger son. And the question is: If these people are so spiritual and so loving and so knowledgeable, why don't they care for this accident? Why don't they help?"

The third dream seems to be saying that there are choices to be made. Trees tend to represent people or the outgrowth of spiritual thought. If it is a thought, it represents a deep-rooted issues of spirituality... to decide which to cut down or to uproot. Double-minded? Two large powerful thoughts which both cannot share the same space in the mental/emotional yard. The third tree that sprung up in the street. The tree looms large but is not going to last in any wind because it has no roots. This tree could be a theology that is a diversion -- something like head-covering or all those other flaky diversionary theologies that folks waste their times on or the tree could be a very true spiritual thought but which unfortunately had no root in the person's life so it couldn't last. Either the third tree was a good tree or a bad tree...but whatever it was, it was not rooted and it was outside the house.

Gotta figure this out. 

So... emails flying back and forth with dream interpreter/friends.

Got this insight from Debra M:

Shall study the dreams. The first thing that struck me though is the common thread of blindness/ignorance/unawareness..... as we go through Life with the barest of understanding or instruction.
What was missing in each?
In the first: a script.In the second: fellowship and compassionIn the third: man going about his egoic constructs with no regard or knowledge of nature and the other world who co-exist on the planet with us
The word of GodThe love of/for GodThe respect for God
Without these things we will fail. We will miss the cue. The child will die. The house will fall. 

Which made me think of this:

TALK TO JESSICA
i think  the dreams are about the healing service on saturday. It's as if the first dream says he hasn't read the sript or he hasn't become one with the script so he is speaking with his mouth but not from his heart. faith comes when we believe in our hearts what has been written in the word and unless we speak from the heart it is only a script and the praying doesn't work really. Then in his own heart there are the words spoken but no action.


The second dream are ministers and church people who see the sick boy and don't care enough to stop their preaching to go out an help. The old "Be ye warmed and filled." but nothing else. The church can do all this with power it has, but there is no love and no leaving from their script to help someone in obivious need and maybe God is showing luke his resentment of the fact that the church hasn't really been there fore us. We've been put on prayer lists and folks have said a prayer in passing. but no one stopped their little work to help. I don't know if that's true because luke doesn't say anything like that but maybe God is showing him his heart-cry to God from his heart that he feels overwhelmed. he said this morning to God while we prayed "God I don't mind Gabe staying the way he does..if only he would stop hitting. I don't want him putting away and living a life of being shut up because of that." My heart just went out to him when he prayed that because it was as if he understood some aspect of the dream without actually knowing it yet because we hadn't started the dream interpretations yet.


Then the third dream: Two two-part questions
First: is the third tree a true theology that has not rooted in his heart? A theology on the road but not yet within his heart? or is it a false theology, a distraction like a lotta other flaky deceptive grand theologies out there? it was such a tall tall tree?


the other question is What are the two trees? Why must he choose one of them? Wwwwhy can't both trees/thoughts grow together? Biblically i understand that to be double-mindedness but what are the two stronghold thoughts?

Church versus State: abortion

I've thought about the whole abortion debate for ages and am gonna just throw out my opinion on it...and let the chips fall where they may.

First, everything I'm gonna say is based on my limited knowledge of humans and my religion.

Second, my religion tells me that religion and the state working together crucified my Lord. Thus I am very suspect of religious folks getting in bed with lawmakers. Not that I trust atheists either. Witness the trouble caused by Stalin, Napoleon, the French Revolutionaries, and Mao Tse Tung to name a few.

So here goes:

One: medical science has proven the fetus is pretty much a child. Abortionists and pro-abortion folks want to muddy that because they just don't want to deal with it. I'd like them to be honest and to simply say, "Yeah, we know it's a person but we would like to kill it anyway." That would be honest, I think. So plain and simple: abortion is murder.

Two: Abortion should be kept legal. Yes, I know. I just said it was murder. But it's a strange kind of murder. Indulged in by the terrified, the ignorant, the wounded, the selfish, the very young, the very old, the neither young nor old, the moral, the immoral....or all of the above. And these things have to be taken into consideration because humans are gonna do what they can to get rid of a child no matter what. Infanticide has been around for ages. Although women are still being killed because of and during abortions -- the abortion industry doesn't mention this-- we don't want wire hangers.

Three: The pro-abortion folks should understand the consequences of abortion. Many women go through depression. Some do not go through depression but they develop a kind of coldness in their hearts. I've seen this in action. And many go through "empty arms syndrome" which make them get pregnant again or become serial aborters. If pro-abortion advocates are so caring about women, they should provide post-abortion counseling.

Four: The pro-abortion folks should understand the way women are abused by abortion. Abortion advocates do not want to talk about the fact that abortion is often the tool of men or parents (sometimes religious parents) and that women are bullied into abortions. The most dangerous time in a woman's life is when she becomes pregnant because many women are killed by boyfriends because they did not get abortions. Pregnant women should therefore be protected from those who wish to force abortions on them. But as long as the pro-abortion folks keep saying pregnancy is a private matter and is "a woman's choice," they show they know diddly-squat about real life...and that it is often a tool of violence used by men against women

Five: Black folks and minorities should be aware that Planned Parenthood was born in eugenics and that even now the Black population in the US is being slowly decimated. At one point we were almost a third of the population of the US. That was during slavery when we were herded together and treated like livestock. Then migration and happened and our population dwindled. But after the laws of abortion came into effect, we pretty much committed self-genocide. Much to the happiness of eugenicists like Margaret Sanger.

Six: Churches should play their part in telling people about the emotional, cultural, and familial consequences of abortion.

Seven: Churches should show people that adoption is an option. The abortion community has pretty much trained people to not even think about adoption.

Eight: Churches should have ceremonies for the healing of those who have had abortion and for the naming of children who were aborted. If a woman has had an abortion, she should know that there are ministers she could go to to be absolved and to have her relationship healed with her dead child.   I would not recommend a woman telling her minister or her church about an abortion because ministers are human and some of them will shame people and when they see a woman who has had an abortion will always keep that against her. But the woman should seek healing and repentance from God.

Nine: I am not sure if people should stand in front of abortion clinics attempting to save babies. The woman is already stressed. Although quite a few babies have been saved because of these interventions. So I dunno.   But I definitely advocate that Christian women do everything in their power to convince their friends not to have abortions, and after the baby is born the Church should support the woman in her choice of keeping the baby.

Ten: A baby is often the means of saving one's own life. Many a person has had to turn from their non-serious life to maturity because a child has been born. I do not believe God sits there and plans for every child to be born. I think we humans have control over the creation of an immortal soul. Yet, I do believe that once a child is conceived God sends his Spirit into it and has a plan for that child. In addition, the child is now placed on earth to bless the parents. Therefore, destroying a child's life is tantamount to destroying one's life.

Upshot: Abortion should remain legal -- state's responsibility
             Abortion should be fought against ethically and personally -- the Church's responsibility. 

Christian groups and the Angry Black Woman

For a while now I've been wondering why I have so many battles with Christian women in general and Christian bookreaders specifically. I do have a talent for ticking off a lot of people and I seem to have the record for ticking off Black folks, Christian folks, women folk, etc. (All groups to which I belong.)

But the ones who have been particularly miffed have been Christian women. I am often forgiven by atheist feminists, for instance. And by Christian men. But Christian women have a gift for holding a grudge that well, it's a gift. So...why then?

So Jessica Fry and I came up with the following reasons:

A) a lot of time groups can't handle anger. Anger is an emotion that is to be kept hidden, and anger against those within one's own group makes everyone uncomfortable...because some larger issue (agreed upon by the group) is being challenged. If one had taken the person aside and commented, maybe there would be some hope of some understanding but...with the group as back-up...holding to the beliefs/assumptions/presumptions of the group...well, let's just say it is never good to argue with groups because "if everyone is angry at the same thing, there is backup." Basic meaning: one can continue believing the same thing if there are certain tenets the group has been taught to believe.

B) The Christian idea of a patient non-mouthy woman. If one talks back, well one is immediately not only mouthy and unsubmissive but immature and unspiritual. Indeed, one is even called "unforgiving." Oh, most Christian women or Christian women writers don't come out and say that but at the foundation of their thoughts, that is apparently what's going on. One is being judged for one's pain and one should, apparently, be spiritual enough (and strong-but-silent American enough) to bear it without being a bitch. When all the group is emailing back and forth or telephoning back and forth about a mouthy Christian, the herd mind will back up the person. The herd mind is a comforting mind, Jessica says. When you're in the herd, you don't really have to think of the merits of your argument. And it is true. So if I as a Black woman challenges the herd mind on a particular thought...the herd mind will survive...but my reputation won't. (I've gotten into many arguments about homosexuality, welfare queens, and race with some white Christian writers and Lord have mercy! The men have forgiven me for being wrong...(even if they still think I am wrong)...but the women, wow!)

C) The Christian idea of fellowship and the protection of the herd from evil, and the protection of the theology from taint. Of course in America, Christian theology is often mixed in with so many other issues. I remember challenging a Black Christian woman who believed that "if you're still suffering, God is trying to tell you something." I asked her, "so if a woman has lost six of her children in Africa or to drugs in America, God is trying to tell her something! How will you survive if you suddenly lost everything? Will you think it's because you aren't good? What a smug theology!" (Yeah, I can be nasty when I know I'm right. That's a failing I have to work on and which no doubt doesn't help my cause.) In this situation, I was challenging Christians, Blacks, and Women (not to mention the woman's livelihood because she went on spiritual engagements talking this crap) so I got pretty slammed.

Yet, there is something very pushy -- unChristian? Christian?-- about me. I just can't let a stupid comment go. I wasn't always like this. I was really quite bullied as a kid. But... since I got older, and sicker, I guess I just can't put up with crap.

Of course, this is not to say that atheists are free thinkers or that Blacks are free thinkers. I'm always telling atheists that their assumption seem to be that they are smarter, deeper, less deluded than everyone else. And I'm always questioning Black folks who insist on certain facts that just aren't true (for instance, like when I tell them that the broom-jumping ceremony is not African but Irish-Scottish, or that Cleopatra was Greek and not African) while they also ignore certain things that really should be noticed (like the fact that Planned Parenthood is rooted in the genocide of minorities, the disabled, and Black folk.)

But the thing is that Christians hold their anger at me way longer. And I must learn to deal with this....this making enemies of those in my own camp.