I haven't arrived but at least I've left

It's so interesting dealing with my son who, by virtue of age and also his not reading the Bible, doesn't know the ways of faith and truth as well as yours truly.

I'm so not spiritual. I wish i were a little more spiritual. But my son....well, he still thinks way too worldly for me.

For instance I have learned to cast my care on God. Mind you, when i cast it...I walk around nervous and whiny and totally fearful that God hasn't taken up what I tossed to him. Total lack of joyful and confident faith, mind you. George Muller I'm not. But at least (patting self on back) I at least am willing to give God my life and kinda trust.

Well, the older son works in a distribution center. He's developed this mean cough -- tons of mucus-- since he started working there. Seven months ago. Logical maternal old me says: leave! But he won't. He hates the job but refuses to step out in faith that God'll give him a better one.

And I'm no help really. Cause if he had a mom who trusted in God more joyfully, maybe it'd have rubbed off on him...and he could learn to cast out into the deep. NEvertheless at God's word, he would thrown down the net. But has he been reading the word and building up his faith? Or is it second-hand? And what a second hand faith? It was tattered before I handed it over to him. Is he living on my -- shaky, wimpy faith?

Gotta force that kid to read his bible and know God for himself.