Thursday, April 02, 2009

"Why?" a very pushy word

More and more I've begun to see the pushiness of the word "why?" Of all words out there, it's the most bullying, judgmental, and cruel. Why do people have to ask you "why" when you make a decision, especially a decision they don't like? And when they ask "why," they're pretty much demanding that you give them an explanation that they will understand and approve of.

Why is this X so XX?
Why don't you do this?
Why don't you do that?
Why don't you answer?

Now, why do we live in a world where folks believe that they must be given a good reason to understand the choices others make and the situations that arise in other folks' lives? I've gotten pretty snippy lately. Whenever someone asks me a question, I try respond with "Why do you want to know?" Most of the time I find myself answering their WHY question before I ask why they want to know. And by then it's too late. They inch out of it -- see, they don't want to show what's going on in their minds, but we've got to show what's going on in ours???-- And even when they give you a "reason" for demanding a satisfactory explanation from you, they seem to think they
have the right to ask it.

Not now. Damn! Remember the old phrase, "none of your business!" Okay, it's not old in some quarters but it's old in mine...because hubby and I never use it. But honestly, now that I'm aware of how intrusive (and judgmental) people are about the reason for my choices --- from now on...I'm gonna be waaay aware of someone whying me. -C


Anonymous said...

Next time someone asks me why I don't have children yet, or why do I read a certain bible, or why is my hair now a beautiful burnt red..I will ask them why. This is why we must be quick to hear and slow to speak. My problem is, I give reasons for my whys and try to explain myself to people, then kick myself later for entertaining them.

Thanks Carole!

Carole McDonnell said...

Let's commit to not allowing folks to judge us and to force us to give reasons for our choices. Have a blessed weekend. -C

Anonymous said...

You have a blessed one as well! :)

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