Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Dark Parable: What is truth?

I dreamed my friend Rain and I passed by an old house and I said I wanted to buy and rebuild it. She said, "It was my grandmother's house. I love it as well." hen I dreamed about my celibate gay friend Jim. In the dream, he had written a novel about a pedophile under a pseudonym. I wondered if it was about him. Whether he was the victim or the perpetrator. I had a friend who I invited into Jim's house and after we ate there I was wondering how to explain to Jim in an email that we had been in his house without his permission. We walked toward my friend Rain's house. She and Jim both used to live near each other. But there were construction workers in the road and in the intersection. Finally I got there. I asked Rain for some pecans from her tree. She said, "I prefer giving and offering without people asking." (In real life she is not like this at all.) I told her Jim's tamarind tree was full. She asked, interested, "Are they ripe?" I said, "Yes, very ripe."

What a world we live in where we must decide if we can be open to our friends or not! In both dreams, the issue is about honesty and self-revelation. My friend Jim is very important and has an important job so perhaps he can't tell his truth directly. He must reveal his truth carefully. He has to tell it slant, as Emily Dickinson says. But self-revelation to friend versus self-revelation to the world at large is something different. Yet, this is a road to be dug up and explored... I know why I dreamed this part of the dream. Sometimes some people are unapproachable and require dishonesty of us in order for us to befriend them. Sometimes, we ourselves are afraid of being truthful.

One should be able to say to  friend, "I have need of this" or "I want this." One should not manipulate in order to get one's friend to offer. IT doesn't seem like friendship to me. One should not have such weird rules when it comes to friends.

Eating in a friend's house might imply telling about a friend's life without getting permission to say so. Not sure why I dreamed this part. Generally I'm not a gossip so I don't know what's what with this part. Although I do wonder about my friend Jim and the sexual issues he had to endure. How does he speak his truth?

When I finally figured out this dream, this is the verse that came to me.
Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom. Psalm 51:6

If we cannot be honest with our friends, can we be honest with God or with ourselves?

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