Okay, where to start? where to start?
So many wrong thoughts, so little time.
I think the quick, powerful, active word of God I will use to conquer my first negative thought is: "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139.
Alas, I dislike and distrust my body.
I dislike it because when I was around 8 my half-sister said, "our father likes me better and makes me live with him because I'm light-skin and you're dark." Okay, she has forgiven herself for this but it has done major damage and caused a whole lotta self-loathing on my part. Of course, as an adult I know that she probably needed to believe this lie. She was born a month after I was born to my mother's best friend. My mother was married to my father. Hers wasn't. And hers never wanted her so after my mother had had it with my father's various adulteries and beatings and forced abortions....well, she divorced the man. But my half-sister wanted to believe this and I have no doubt the lie healed her...but it's brought be a great deal of grief. I have never felt beautiful. Yep, I used to model for the students at my college etc and people have said that I was very beautiful...but I never felt it. I don't even look in the mirror. (Yeah, I gave this trait to Satha my main character in Wind Follower.)
I also distrust my body. My mother was a nurse...Nurses are alarmists. They always think the body is going to fall apart on you. It doesn't help that I've had such a stressful life that my health broke and my body did kinda fall apart on me.
Remedy: With God all things are possible.
Remedy: It is never too late.
Prescription: I am going to get up every morning and walk to the mirror and say, "I praise you Lord because I am wonderfully and fearfully made." I hope I can say this thing with faith. I hope I can believe it when I say it. (Might have to remind myself of my sense of humor and how happy I have made my friends. Will see.) I hope I can actually look myself in the mirror. I truly don't know what I look like. I so wish I were saner...but alas, I am what I am. May God help me. Amen.
- ► 2017 (14)
- ► 2015 (32)
- ► 2014 (63)
- ► 2013 (80)
- ► 2012 (119)
- ► 2011 (198)
- ► 2010 (156)
- ► 2009 (499)
- Pondering the two Creation stories
- Come your kingdom!
- Needing God's love
- Baby Parts for Profit
- Kitty update
- witchraft and the male member
- Not being conformed
- general stuff
- Robert Alter's translation of The Book of Psalms
- wip updates
- Sundays in America by Suzanne Strempek Shea
- Fasting from wrong thinking #1
- ah, the power of envy
- tuna and lobster dream
- Tales from the hood
- Calling those things that be not as though they ar...
- Timing, fate, fortune, luck
- Treasures in earthly vessel
- Two Tim Hawkins christian comedy routines
- Where is my faith?
- Besetting Sin
- the temptation to laugh
- Dossouye: a Charles Saunders anthology
- update on novels-in-progress
- Rubber hitting the road II
- Rubber hitting the road
- Wars, small, great, undeclared, and recurrent
- Okay I'll admit it
- Fighting against myself
- ▼ April (30)
- ► 2007 (102)
Here is a Bible study I wrote once. Instead of simply writing a long article, I simply listed some of the many questions God asks in the Bi...
William Lau of the Elijah Challenge does a rally great job talking about the priestly authority, the kingdom authority, and the prophetic au...
Is there a right way to read it? Should the books be read in any particular order? Most Churches have printed guides which help parishioner...
Once Jesus was praying in a certain place. After he had finished, one of his disciples said to him, "Lord, teach us to pray, as John ta...
This prayer was written by Rich Keltner: Right now, In the Name of the Lord Jesus and by the power of His Blood, I ask the blood o...
I once had a white friend in my writer’s critique group ask me, “Why do you always write about mixed couples? That’s a very bad habit of you...
Am getting back into The Constant Tower. WOW!!! It's so good to be back into a fantastical world. The nobility, the beauty, the angst --...
Hi all: I'm up today for the spec-fic blog hop: Thanks to Jessica Rydill , author of Malarat and Children of the Shaman for ...
Types of Bible Studies: Bible studies may be done singly or as a series. 1. A Bible Study Series can be thematic. Thematic articles can...
Yesterday, early-early, I opened my computer: you were there. A glimpse, merely But later, all my thoughts were of you. II Men should...