Needing God's love

Oh gee! I need love so much today. So much, so much love. Oh sure, hubby loves me with all his heart. Sons adore me. Doggie on my left and kitty on my right both love me. What I need is to feel the love of God. I need to feel an angel touching my shoulder. Heck, I need to SEE the angel. I need to see Jesus and feel his love. If I were cute and not committed to Christ this is the time I'd probably choose to find a rich young lover to make me feel okay. Uhm....I'll give my main character in my novel a young lover to help her with her grief.

Okay, I really shouldn't need to see God's love in order to believe it is here. The Bible tells me about God's love. That alone should suffice. It's a more sure word, as St Peter says. I have to soak in God's word and envelope myself in His love.

Been thinking of Hebrews 5:12

12

For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat.

13

For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe.

14

But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

2 Peter 3:18

But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. to him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.

1Peter 2:2

As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:

Then thinking of Hebrews 6:1-2

Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God, Of the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment.

Am I interpreting Hebrews 6:1-2 right? Did Paul (or whoever wrote Hebrews) actually say that we should leave the first principles of the doctrine of christ and go on to perfection by NOT repeating the foundations but advancing? Uhm... Every church I have been in have spent 90% of their time talking about repentance from dead works, the doctrine of baptisms, eternal judgement, the resurrection of the dead, faith toward God, and laying on of hands. A few have really delved into exploring faith, and I've maybe heard four -- at the most-- sermons discussing the laying on of hands. Will have to ponder clearly what Paul is talking about here. And will really soak in Bible verses about God's love. To me, the milk seems to be the love of God. That's what my faith and peace should rest on. I can endure anything and be healed of every spiritual wound if I understood how much God loved me. Then I could push aside all this bitterness I have against some evil Church folks, some cruel atheists and allow God's love to flow through me. I'm not saying I don't know God's love. I'm saying I don't "reliably" know it. If I knew God's love, I could definitely move on to perfection. I want the knowledge of that love to be always, always, always with me. -C