I keep asking myself: When will I be free from these particular issues?
Fear -- child of alarmist mother, grandchild/relative of people who delighted in scaring and terrifying young children.
Worry/Post Traumatic Stress -- And a terrible fear of having to take care of myself. I've been in a state of worry/spiritual divorce/abandonment/ it seems like all my life. I'm hoping in God to help me cast my care on him.
Fear of man, personal history of judgmental people and self-repression -- A terrible inability to tell people when they've hurt me...a fear of hurting them... a fear of being disliked by people. A fear of falling short or being judged by them.
I know most Christians will give an easy answer to it -- cause they are such know-it-alls-- but God is able...even now, after all these years...to heal one like me who is so beset with fear. It's hard to believe in a miracle when one has had a problem for so many years but... if Jesus healed the man at the pool of Bethesda who had been sick for so many years, I know he can healed me. If I CAN BELIEVE and learn to trust him. One moment at a time.
-C
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4 comments:
It's me, anonymous again:
Your problem is common to most people- believers and non believers. Especially nowadays.
I feel really sad when I read blogs like this. I am a sensitive person and I care TOO much what others think. My solution? I imagine myself better than them because they can never be me...that includes Satan.
Wow, Anon. I wish I could start imagining myself being better than those folks. Honestly, though, I don't think I can. Some youthful brainwashing as a kid rises up within me and says, "stop imagining stuff like that." But yes, I will definitely focus on remembering that through Christ we are more than conquerors...of Satan. Thanks so much. Will try to focus. -C
It's okay. Maybe just pray more often and see God fight your battles. As you said you are more than a conquerer so focus on that. I enjoy your blogs. We are so much alike!
Thanks, Anon. Will try to. I do this blog because I feel God wants more transparent Christians...imperfections and weirdness and all. This one is dedicated to spiritual issues and the other is more of a catch-all for books and christians and minority stuff. Am glad you like my blogs. Thanks. -C
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