Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Aaargh

Okay, so my son decides to upload a video of himself singing Mr Good Dick. He uploads it to my youtube account. Aaargh! Mind you that that youtube account is created only to have Christian videos on it. Mind you, folks are subscribed to my youtube account. I can only imagine.... Yes, I can only imagine... some innocent sweet Christian soul getting an email that a new video had been made by yours truly and clicking on to see the subscription and bingo being faced with Older son's paean of praise to his male member! I really wished he hadn't done that. So I told him to make the video private. He says he can't see it on his myspace page now. Ah, poor thing!

Then this morning I try to get the kid to be less of a carnal Christian. I give him a speech about black folks destroying ourselves by being too addicted to sex and violence. I tell him raunchiness, raunchy songs, raunchy books and street lit is not what God made our people for. I give him the old, "Would you go to heaven if you died today?" speech. I tell him that in India tons of hindus people go to bathe in the Ganges yearly (it's the holies of rivers and akin to the Christian idea of grace) to let it wash away their sins and to make sure their karmic debt doesn't bring them back to life again...and definitely not to bring them back to life as a bug or even as some untouchable. (Unlike some American, Indian Hindus don't look forward to reincarnation.) I tell him Moslems are afraid of hell and describe the Moslem idea of hell. I tell him how Chinese Buddhists buy hell money and little dolls to help them out in the underworld and to make their lives in hell better....and how they put their sins on little boats to put away their sins far from them. I tell him all the world's religions and folklores have feared hell. I tell them all the world's religions believe in some kind of really bad eternal place of punishment. What does the kid do? He gives me this "God will take care of me" speech.

I tell him that we American Christians do not take hell seriously and that he should be very careful not to try God's patience by being presumptuous. I say, "What are you gonna say when you face Jesus?" "Lord, I sang and wrote all those songs because I wanted to honor the black male's dick? I felt the need to heal our sexual souls and so I used the talent you gave me and thought only about sex because I was doing my part?"

The kid laughed. But he still didn't seem to be taking me seriously. I can only hope the Lord is talking to him. Because frankly, I don't want anything to happen to him in the state he is in now. He's a sweetie, but all those sexual escapades. Well...it is more than a Christian mom can take.
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