See....
This is why I don't get any reading of fiction done. I am totally reading all these books on healing. I've collected about a zillion of them over the past 20 years and yes, I am finally growing in faith. (So, it took a long time...no one is perfect.)
This has been my life for the past 18 years (20 years if you add the two years of my illness without younger son's illness) :
No sleep. At the most four hours. At the least, none. Usually about two or three hours a night. Then staying up sleepless. Sometimes there'd be times when I would go two weeks without sleep and then suddenly crash and sleep one good night then back to the old cycle. Then pain comes into the mix because the body can't restore itself at night.
Then add to the mix a son who is non-verbal and who is always in pain. ALWAYS. Crying every moment of his life for 18 years and he can't tell you what it is because he can't talk.
Add to the mix...money issues brought on by me not being able to work and medical bills.
Add to the mix know-it-all Christians who behave as if they know everything going on in one's life and say stupid things like, "you're too touchy." As if...if they were sleepless for 20 years straight with money problems and a sick child that just wounds at the spirit just to look how the sickness has destroyed his life...they would be so much better. I think that's my biggest issue with some Christians: they behave as if you aren't behaving properly for a sick person. They go about thinking that if they were in your shoe they would handle your life oh so much better. Their house would be neat. They would've gotten healed by now. And there you are struggling and then they mess things up with their proper behavior issues and cause you to dump into forgiveness. Honestly, for all my extreme chattiness...in non-webe life I am the most forbearing person in the world. I simply do not say anything that might be construed as rude. But so many Christians seem to feel this need to exhort and to tell you what to do...as if they are the first person to ever tell you that, or as if they are privy to God's view on your life. Very annoying.
Anyway, I am sitting around now. Drinking my water, trusting God, praying, fasting. I have soooo many healing tapes by folks I trust: Lester Sumrall, Craig Marsh, Andrew Wommack, Henry Lao, Canon Jim Glennon, Sid Roth, Doug Jones, and of course Emily Dotson.
I downloaded a lot of healing articles over at the elijah challenge and today I downloaded healing articles over at www.emilydotson.com
I love Emily! I have several of her tapes. She had a miraculous healing from lupus when she was in the last stages. I remember when my friend Jestine was in the last stages of lupus. If I had had some of this material....well!
http://www.emilydotson.com/Articles%20by%20Emily%20Dotson.htm
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4 comments:
Ok, Carole- I am mad too, now because I have a stand full of biographical books from Prayer to Women of the Bible...you mean to tell me I must read these too?:) I Love it!
Oh well, I will get to those definitely- now, if only I can finish that chapter on Evolutionary Psychology for school....
I will keep you in my prayers, Carole.
ooh girl do i know what you mean. The Christians in my life at the time I fell ill with lupus were so judgmental as to make me finally leave the church (not God, just that church). They wanted to just lay ahnds on me and if i didn't get better than it was my fault, for either hidden sin in my life or not holding onto my healing, etc.
the truth is it's hard to be compassionate, Christian or not, if you've never really suffered.
Maybe I'm off-base but after being ostracized for getting sick (must have ben my fault, so they thought, because thinking that way made them feel safer somehow)... anyway after getting sick adn sufering it occured to me that maybe that is why God came down to Earth in human form, because until he could live in human flesh and walk a mikle in our shoes so to speak, he could nto be compassionate. this to me explained the difference between the judgment in the old testament and the grace in teh new.
well, that's me theory anyway
now I'm going to go look at that link you posted.
Hi Singing:
Why not email emily or write her?
Yes, it's very hard for humans to be compassionate.
There are instances of God's compassion in the old testament. And the new testament really shows that God is still pretty relentless toward sin...because we really get a knowledge of hell and the wrath to come.
I tend to think that the reason God was so tough in the old testament was because he wanted to preserve the Messiah's Jewish and human blood line and to preserve the Bible. In addition, in the old testament times humans weren't given dominion over the devil so God had to do a lot of stuff to protect folks from the devil even if they didn't know what was going on. The devil is hardly mentioned in the old testament because people had no real power over him...except to avoid those sins which allowed him to affect their lives. When you're trying to save the world and preserve the Bible, destroy Satan, and preserve the lineage of the Messiah you have to be pretty tough. I hope you found a great church.
Thanks, Tia.
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