Chambers of My Imagery

'Then said He unto me, Son of man, hast thou seen what the ancients of the house of Israel do in the dark, every man in the chambers of his imagery!  Ezekiel 8:12

May no one, no one, no one ever see what happens in the chambers of MY imagery. The angry vindictive wishes, the tawdry sexual fantasies, the morbid death-bed scenes!

My mother was a nurse and an alarmist. She filled our young heads with thoughts of suffering and lingering disease. So not good! And now... so much so much so much going on! The foreclosure and the losing of the house, the wondering about Gabe's health... and my not sleeping...aaargh... just hard. 

I do have moments where i wish i would die to be free from my mind but oh well still alive. I'd rather die suddenly in bed though than linger. And I suspect that if Jesus asked me when I arrived in heaven if I wanted to return to earth, I'd probably say "No, thank you!" 

But for constant tower and for onion... i live on

Dare I believe this mind can be repaired and freed from oppression, stress, false comforts?

The Bible says God has given us peace that passes all understanding. I shall have to affirm that and fight the good fight to push the negative thoughts from the chambers of my imagery.
St Paul says we have the mind of Christ! Yet, alongside this mind of Christ is the old man with its fears, anger, lusts, etc. I shall have to fill my mind with the word of God more and more.

Search me o God and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.!

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, o Lord, my strength and my redeemer!

Prepare in me a clean heart oh God!

Be the only thing I want, Lord! Be the only thing I desire Lord! Be the only thing I honor and worship, Lord!