Monday, July 18, 2011

The watch over the mouth and the cancer-phobia battle

Last year this time I was getting a lump removed from my breast because my nipple was bleeding. It was one of the worst fear battles I have ever fought. Fear brings torment, the Bible says and the apostle was not kidding!

The torment came in a slew of attacks against my carnal mind, with some few from the world, and from the devil. The news shows had stories about cancer on all the time. I kept hearing about people having cancer. And I kept having dreams. The dreams were interesting. Someone was always asking me how I felt and almost encouraging me to "talk about" my fears or whine about the pains. And always, always -- GOD IS FAITHFUL-- whenever I was about to launch into some comment and declare I had cancer, the dream would end before I said the word. I would get up in the morning with pains in my breasts exactly where some dream person had said I had cancer. Whatever the dream person said, whatever happened in waking life, I was determined not to speak this fear.

Why? Because I did not want to speak the fear and empower the cancer spirit. Cancerphobia is part of American society and ....although not everyone with fear of cancer will get cancer... cancerphobia can definitely be used by a cancer spirit to cause one to curse one's self. Especially if there are immune system issues and stress and unforgiveness issues. Silly sounding, I know...but spiritual truths sound like foolishness to the rational man and I know whereof I speak.

I totally believe this because six or so years ago I had a major night battle with bronchitis. For years, since maybe 1990, I would get a very nasty cold whenever I went outside in spring or fall without covering my neck. It would become a flu or a bronchitis or pneumonia and I'd be stuck in bed for about three weeks, plus would have a tough time walking around for three months after that until my bed was healed because bronchitis, like many disease, like returning back. One really has to fight against a disease even after it has left because disease and demons like coming back.

Anyway, about six years ago, I did the stupid thing and opened the door without covering my neck. I lay in bed that night and felt a scratching in my nose, throat, and ears. I knew a cold was attempting to take me over and I knew the cold would become the usual bronchitis. I sat in bed afraid I would get sick then the Lord told me to fight. I decided to. The Bible has a verse: "The children of Ephraim, although armed and carrying swords, turned back in the day of battle. ...they limited the holy one of Israel."

So I was armed. I was not ignorant of the devil's devices. I knew the spiritual weapons of my warfare. The main weapon was to not let my mouth be used by the devil to destroy me. The devil's power over us is often through our own mouths. It was a small but powerful and decisive and hard battle. EVERYTHING in me wanted to turn to my husband and say, "I think I'm getting a cold." That's really all I wanted to say. In my heart, I felt that the ability to complain and to announce the anticipating cold would be true relief. I know it sounds silly but there it was: I wanted to say, "Oh Gee I feel really crappy and I know it's a cold." But I was told by the Lord not to say it. Imagine being in terrible pain and feeling that the way to relieve the pain is to speak about it and say it. I don't know why but it seems to be part of the human spirit to go assessing things. One gets up in the morning and says, "I feel crappy." Or, "dammit, the bill collector. I just know yadda yadda." Really, the verbalization of a situation is not necessary but we are trained (by the devil and the world) to say it. And because life and death is in the power of the tongue -- and the only power the devil has is how he makes us use words against ourselves-- this is how we often destroy ourselves.

Anyway, it was funny. I got very angry with God for making the spiritual laws of the world as He did. How dare He create spiritual laws about the use of the voice which prevented me from whining? It sounds silly now but really, I felt as if I would go insane if I couldn't breathe out, "I am getting a cold, I think." The burden and anger of  feeling I would go insane if I didn't declare such a small sentence (uhm... a sentence, a life sentence...interesting thing english) cannot be adequately described...It was so powerful I surmised my resolve had come up against some inner emotional issue or some external demon. At one point, the pain in my ears, throat, and nose got so scratchy, so itchy, I felt as if I had strep and I wanted to say, "Ouch!" I started saying, "Ouch" but caught myself in time and said, "Oh, Christ, my savior!" All night it went on like that. In the morning the itchiness, scratchy, burning, terrible discomfort was gone! Talk about working out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

Since then, I have stood outside in absolute cold weather (with extremely chatty neighbor.) Twenty years of cruel bronchitis and chest pain and strep colds GONE forever. That situation taught me a lot about the power of the mouth.

A church sister named Wendy was told by her doctor that her tests came back positive and that she had breast cancer. She said, "In the name of Jesus, there is no cancer." I suspect the doctor gave her a look and told her she was being odd. He repeated the doctor's report. She told him the doctor's report: By Jesus' name I WAS healed. I have no cancer." There are people who go around declaring that cancer runs in their family so they have to be careful...and when they get a positive report of cancer they say I'm glad I caught it in time or else I would've died like my mother and grandmother, etc. And now that it's taken out and I lost a breast, I'll be careful lest it come back again.... like it did with my etc.... Well, that is not the way to do it. The thing to do is to say to the doctor, "Do what you think is necessary but the Lord has said I shall not die but live and that by His wounds I was healed."

Of course one can't go saying stuff like that if one doesn't believe it because it's with the heart one believes and with the mouth one confesses to deliverance. Some folks don't have the faith to believe they were healed on the cross. Some folks don't believe that death and life are in the power of the tongue. And some folks don't understand enduring patiently and triumphing until the healing grows from seed to plant to blossom. The doctor got annoyed but the next time she went back to him all signs of cancer had disappeared. If it hadn't disappeared, Wendy still would have continued to declare that Jesus is Lord and had healed her on the cross. She was prepared to endure.

To this day I know that I would've gotten cancer if I hadn't fought against those dream-speakers. I wish I had known how to battle when my son was diagnosed and when I became sick. Then the illnesses would've have gotten so entrenched. But God is able...and I'm still trusting Him. It's a battle, friends. The Bible does not say we will "feel" healed, only that we are healed. And we must walk by faith in God's word, not by sight or by human prognostications.
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