Dark Parable: Birds that peck out the eye

I dreamed I was walking on a path around early dusk. In the dream I remembered
it from another dream and I remembered the warning that went with it. There was
a gate from the field I was on which led to another field. I knew that very
cruel birds watched that gate and whenever people stopped to open the gate to go
from one field to the other the birds would take that small momentary
opportunity while people waited to take out the eyes of the person.

There was a way around to the other field. But I had gone there before in
another dream and had managed to escape the birds so I figured I'd go this way
again. Besides there was a shadowy figure looming just beyond the gate, pretty
much beside it, and I thought it was my friend. So I figured: "why go the long
way round? Take a chance."

I saw a flock of these creepy birds -- black-- hovering but only one came down
when he saw me approach the gate. He perched on a rock and waited.

I was wearing a scarf/shawl and it was bundled on my head kind of messily, kinda
hanging over my eyes and bunched up at the back. So I figured that would protect
me. I also put my left hand over my cheek near my left eye so the eye would be
covered.

I saw that the latch to the gate was closed and that I had to fiddle with it. So
I tried to open it with my eyes closed and with my hand over my eyes. The bird
started pulling at my scarf near my eye to yank it off. I could also feel him
yanking away at the scarf near my neck. I kept fiddling with the latch...and I
thought the gate was opened. I'm not sure, though. I remembering wondering why
my friend wasn't helping me now that I was past the gate. Then I started
wondering if it was my friend at all. Because the person was so shrouded and
covered in dark clothing.

INTERPRETATION:

I realized that the way I was covering my eyes in the dream...to open the latch to the unknown shadowed friend and yet to protect the eyes... is exactly how I read some emails from internet friends. Friends beyond the eye-gate (the monitor). You never know when you're going to get a nasty email from some touchy new cyber-friend. I think God was telling me to be careful. One can't spend one's time befriending folks and then being afraid of their oversensitive letters.

We Who Live at the End of Time -- So what if we aren't raptured?

I'm getting more and more convinced that the end times are here...and that we won't be raptured. Okay, so if I'm wrong...no skin off my back. I'll be happily in the clouds. But if I'm right...uhm...I suspect the first Christian folks who will fall into the apostasy will be the un-raptured American Christians who believed in the prosperity gospel. Wouldn't they be majorly confused and royally pissed to find themselves still here on earth suffering prosperity? I doubt Christians who are used to suffering will be freaked out. They're used to suffering. But American Christians shy away from it.

So, I suspect their hearts will be failing from fear. Then, those who survived the shock, will probably fall for the Great Lie...because they'll want to believe.

Just thinking. Am sad, though, that --pre-trib or mid-trib or post-trib-- most Christians are utterly unaware of how terrifyingly late it is-- that the anti-christ is on the scene (whoever he might be), that we are literally in the last months of the last days, that we are ripe to be deceived.

Anyways, writing away and working on my novels. One of which --Constant Tower-- has no religion in it at all. Occupying til Christ comes. -C

The Real Face of Jesus

On Tuesday March 30, on History Channel, The Real Face of Jesus


The Real Face of Jesus on HISTORY 3/30
Uploaded by HistoryChannel. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

Onum juru n'ekele- Evang. Okwara Ezema- Igbo Gospel Music

Weekend Movie-Viewing -- Hansel and Gretel

Okay, so I saw this Korean interpretation of the Hansel and Gretel fairy tale last weekend but I was utterly utterly out of it and couldn't think. So I'm doing the review now. I totally loved this movie. It is flawless, beautiful, tragic, with a happy ending. It hits no false notes. What else can I say? Well, a lot more.

When the story begins, Eun-Su is driving to meet his mother whom has a troubled relationship with. He's about to become a father but there's problem with that issue as well. Poor Eun-Su is a somewhat distanced son about to become a somewhat distanced father. He's just not that connected to family and he almost -- just almost-- doesn't quite know what to do with family.

So he's driving along and has an accident where he bumps his head. When he wakes he finds himself in a forest, utterly lost. A little girl with a lamp -- who carries lamps in modern day Korea? -- leads him to her beautiful gingerbread house where he meets her brother, sickly younger sister, and their two very nervous-looking parents. Everyone is gaily dressed. A lit Christmas tree shines brightly, and dinner is made up of colored and pastel cupcakes and all manner of confections.

The house is beautiful. Ah, the colors and the brightness! I can't remember a film where brightness been used to show both sweetness and horror at the same time. And yet, something is terribly wrong. This story is like Stephen King's Misery meets . . . well Hansel and Gretel. After Eun-Su gets better, he'd like to leave. After all, his girlfriend is having a baby. And he has to see his estranged mom. But he's already caught up in the story of these children. He's become the hero of their tale. And well. . . no one gets out alive. Ah, the love of a child for its parent! Ah, the dangerous love of a needy wounded child for a perfect parent!

The effect all this has on a viewer is to fear innocence, especially wounded innocence. Wounded love can go over the top in its neediness and in its desire to have sweetness and certainly, there's a fascistic sweetness to the children's world. Who can glut themselves everyday on sweets? But that's what a child wants, right? And DEFINITELY what a wounded child wants.

There world is lovely -- a child's version of all that is sweet and happy and good in the world. (A world created from a Christmas postcard and possibly from too many 1960's movies) But the world is also dangerous and the children accepts no challenges to the sweetness they so desperately desires. That a wounded child, a wounded human, could create such a stifling world based on the need to be happy....well, it rings dang true! And yet, one cannot dislike the children. One can, perhaps, dislike an evil dictator although one knows his wounded childhood. But not these children. Their hold is not on all the world. They simply have one corner of the world which they rule with a strong supernatural hand. And woe betide the mom and dad who turn out to be less than loving.

Now, was this all in his head --- a kind of psycho-drama created by the psyche of a wounded child so he could be healed enough to become a loving father? Was it a ghost story? Are the children dead? Was it a story of magic entering the life of a person to bring about healing for the kids and the father-to-be?


I really liked the kids. I thought there was some hint in the last scene that they had found some kind of happiness -- although in the "real world where Eun-su lives" people aren't always good to children. Although in Eun-Su's world children are suffering still without the benefit of magic... at least these three are free. I kinda got that idea. The memory of Eun-su in their life gives was a kind of healing thing for them. Perhaps they'll A) let the next stranger go free if he/she wishes to go or B) have some kind of growth toward understanding their own cruelty. They kept saying they were good children. And perhaps now they will perhaps kinda sorta believe they might also be doing evil as well. We can only help those we know...and unfortunately so much suffering is done behind doors so we don't really know.

I believe that life is complex for us humans. I believe in Perfect goodness and perfect evil -- but not among the human denizens of earth. Humanity must be judged on the gray scale

I'd like to believe that I've gone through life without harming anyone. I'm sure I haven't though...even though "I am a good person" as the kids would say. I have my guesses about moments when I've been cruel but I know I shall be unpleasantly surprised one day to discover I've hurt or wounded someone I didn't know. I like thinking I know these things. ;-)

Anyway, here's the link to the movie. And here is a description of the film, along with some other wonderfully sorrowful films about kids. The vid was made by my cinematic brother, James in the UK. We argue passionately about films but the love and respect is always there.

Amerie

Langston Hughes -- Ku Klux Klan

Ang Can Stay Asian and Still Save the World

Check out Racebender

General Update

Younger son is going back to school today. After so many months of being outside of school. Will see.

Hubby is getting ready to go on a visit to California to see his father. His dad is 83. I told Luke to pray for his father...even though the family is so secular. Faith and boldness needed.
He's going to calif on saturday for 4 days...so i'm trying to sleep and really drink my water...cause sometimes i need sex to kinda sleep. I really don't want Luke to go, cause I'll have to take care of son. Sleepless woman in pain taking care of young non-verbal son -- for two days. Hard. But God is helpful.

The last email he got from his father was a few days ago and his father basically said "here are the names of the 7 dwarves." That was all. His dad wrote "doc" twice. His dad was a computer programmer from the old days with a very complicated math science program that helped many applications... used by the airline industry to figure out scheduling and time zone
So it's defionitely a case of "what a great mind is here overthrown!" Luke is handling it kinda okay but he's so quiet about stuff. And his mother is kinda weepy on the phone.

Sometimes it's a severe mercy to bring the proud to the ground. Better to be weak and to acknowledge it and die and not go to hell because one sees the need for God. But can someone in dementia really understand his need for God? I also think this is not what God wants as a norm. I think Christians are called to have a life above this. I also wonder about demonic elements in society which make us believe all this is normal.

ONION
Delacorte rejected it. Yeah, it's a bit on the religious side. So I kinda thought they might. But sent Onion to a Christian publisher now. Will see what happens. Before, I was trying not to think of the religious aspects of Onion cause I didn't want to stress out at being a religious writer. Now I'm thinking about what makes it not religious enough for Christian publishing. I'll just say that Christian publishing is majorly rigid...and my books tend to be quirky.

The CONSTANT TOWER
Psal is so loveable. I love him so much. As a main character, he is so clueless and so good-natured...when he isn't being whiny. Working on that as well. Working on the revisions...slowly. It's interesting working with a character who is clueless, though. Not wanting him to be stupid or insensitive. Hard row to hoe.

UNEMPLOYMENT ISSUES
Other than that, living in the throes of unemployment and illness has been interesting. So we're living on younger son's disability check, my pension, and hubby's unemployment check. It's been interesting to say the least. God provides, though.

OLDER SON
Older son was at Spring Break


-C

The Ark of the Lord in the temple of Dagon

Am doing Bible study now with my hubby and we're reading I Samuel chapter 5 where the ark of the lord is in the temple of a demon... and even in the demon's temple God shows Dagon who is the true Lord of the universe. It's a real blessing for me. And I'll be pondering it today and meditating.

1 Then the Philistines took the ark of God and brought it from Ebenezer to Ashdod. 2 When the Philistines took the ark of God, they brought it into the house of Dagon and set it by Dagon. 3 And when the people of Ashdod arose early in the morning, there was Dagon, fallen on its face to the earth before the ark of the LORD. So they took Dagon and set it in its place again. 4 And when they arose early the next morning, there was Dagon, fallen on its face to the ground before the ark of the LORD. The head of Dagon and both the palms of its hands were broken off on the threshold; only Dagon’s torso was left of it. 5 Therefore neither the priests of Dagon nor any who come into Dagon’s house tread on the threshold of Dagon in Ashdod to this day.

I'm still getting off the high I always get on whenever I read Judges -- a great literary book which is totally fun because it shows the flaky stuff pseudo-spiritual and legalistic folks do when they do that which is right in their own eyes.

Then I went through Ruth. Loved it.

So here I am in I Samuel. This time round I felt a real love for Eli. He's a sweet soul. And also thought of Samuel ministering before the Lord in his cute little ephod that his mother made for him. There was a sweetness to that.

So anyway, am now at this passage and am really arrested by it. I really have to ponder it. A part of me is thinking of the temple as our bodies. Imagine our bodies being ruled by an evil strongman within. And then God is brought into this temple of our bodies. And the strongman is made to bow low in his own temple. I'm just pondering it...wow! Even in a place where the world or false religion rules, God within can destroy the system -- or the body, or the household-- destroys the power of the false god and makes the strongman bow in his own temple. I just am really blessed by that.

God with us, the hope of glory. We have this treasure in earthen vessels. Thank you, Jesus.

-C

Dr. Alan Koslow's Weight Loss Diet

Well...gonna attempt to try this

With these rules you will have a 1200-1500 calorie diet without having to count calories. But it only works if you follow them. I'm down 74 pounds as of this morning, six months and two weeks into my program. Please let me know what you think.

Eat as much fresh or lightly cooked/steamed (no oil or fat) fruits, vegetables and legumes as you want. I eat five to eight pounds everyday.

Eliminate condiments (butter, ketchup, mayo, fat based) except vinegar, lemon juice, mustard and spices.
NO!! fried foods.

four ounces of meat or fish or two ounces cheese max twice a day.

Cut down to close to none on all traditional white things, i.e. bread, potatoes, rice (all colors) and pasta. Limit it to two to four ounces a day.

At a restaurant replace starch with second vegie or double vegies and either plan on splitting dinner with someone else or have wait staff split it in kitchen before bringing it to you and pack the second half to go.

Eat fruit for dessert or at most take a single (moderate) fork full of someone else's dessert.

The extra rule is: Tell EVERYONE you are dieting to lose weight. This creates a social contract with all.

Do Lord

Yay! My Bible Study on RawSistaz ebook readathon

This morning I read the news that my Bible study Seeds of Bible Study: How not to read the Bible will be on the ebook readathon being done by rawsistaz YAY!

I like that little book. I have yet to update the version now up on amazon but the ebook is pretty much updated.

Anyway, I'm super-happy. Why, you may ask? Because my heart is in that little book. My literature-loving heart, my editorial heart (not that the book is really that perfectly edited), and my Bible-loving heart.

I wrote it because I've seen so many people mishandle the word of God...or mishandle words PERIOD. There are a lot of assumptions about stuff in the Bible that is based on people not taking words seriously. Or they don't know how to understand words. Or they don't know how to question their church's traditional understanding of a verse. Or they didn't even know they were reading the Bible wrongly and were mis-interpreting and mis-reading.

So, yeah, it's my little foray in the battle against glibness. And my little battle to make folks learn to read carefully and to know what they're saying about the Bible -- or about anything-- before they repeat it.

Back in the day when I used to teach, I'd warn the kids over and over to practice critical reading....and to be very careful what they repeat -- even if they were repeating something someone very important and famous said. I'm hoping my kids will grow up to be very careful with words. Because, dang!, many Christians, many Christian writers, many secular writers, many intelligent people....just don't examine words that's handed down to them. These are the last days...and even if it makes me look like a pill I'm not going to let some unexamined comment go down without challenging it. Even if the greatest writer or minister supposedly said it.

So yeah, the book is up at the ebook readathon. You can also download it from this site (see column to the left) or from Lulu.com -C

WTF Moment in Bible Study: Samson...oh yeah, and Delilah

Okay, so now we're in Judges which I totally love. If there was a Bible book that was written by a woman, it's definitely Judges! Ah, the women of Judges. But anyway, there we are at Samson.

When his story begins, the Phillistines and the Israelites are living in relative peace. True, the Israelites are not rulers in their land and are under tribute but hey, they've gotten accustomed to it. MUCH too ACCUSTOMED and at PEACE with the situation. God decides to make trouble.

And how does he do it? He sends an angel to a barren woman and tells her he'll give her a child. She is to have a special diet and to keep herself pure from unclean foods. She does -- and what does she get for this special mercy? What kind of perfect child does God give to her? A vindictive, strong kid with a very nasty temper!!!! Yes, my kind of deliverer.

But still, there isn't trouble. Both the Phillistines and the Israelites aren't apt to fight over anything. So what does God do? He makes Samson fall in love with a Phillistine woman? Yes, yes, I know... ministers like saying that Samson's lust carried him away. Puhleze! The Bible states that "this thing was from the Lord." I suspect people like saying it's Samason's fault because they remember that Moses had commanded the Israelites not to intermarry with the Phillistines, so ministers think that God wouldn't willfully cause Samson to sin like that. But really? Hey, Samson was totally fine when he lied through his teeth to Delilah. (Anyway, we haven't gotten to Delilah yet.)

So, yeah, God sets up poor Samson to fall in love with a woman from the enemy's camp. So God could start trouble with his vindictive nasty-tempered deliverer! I love it!

So Samson gets into a snit because the Lords of the phillistines threatened and nagged his wife to give him an answer to a riddle. And what does he do? He goes down to Eskalon and murders 30 innocent people who had nothing to do with his fight with the other Phillistines. But even then, the Phillistines don't get too upset about it. They let it go. Yes, they LET IT GO. But God has made this particular deliverer majorly testy -- a troublemaker of the highest order. And Samson keeps causing trouble...ruining the Phillistine crops. The Phillistines -- extremely patient people-- ask the men of Judah (Israelites) to help them capture Samson. The men of Judah think Samson is being unreasonable. But he allows them to bound him and then he kills the Phillistines who have finally lost their temper.

The Phillistines let this go as well. Amazingly! They don't kill a ton of Israelites. But they are losing patience with Samson.

Then Samson meets Delilah. No, she isn't a harlot. He meets her after he visited a harlot. And we don't know what Delilah is. The Bible doesn't say. Many Christians think she's a Phillistine. This is probably because of that xenophobic evil strange woman thing so many Christians have. A bit of racism or whatever. Anyway, ministers want to believe she's a Phillistine. But for all we know she could've been a sweet little Israelite farmer's daughter.

Samson loves her. We don't know if she loves him. But why not assume she does? After all, nowhere in the Bible does it say that Esther was in love with the king (or that she liked being one of a zillion women in the king's harem) but we assume. So, yeah, I'll assume she loved him. AT FIRST Anyway...then she gets all treacherous on him.

Down come the Phillistines....and they're (rightly) annoyed with Samson's shenanigans. So Delilah caves. Know what? I think I would've caved too if someone bribed me. Plus we KNOW how they had threatened Samson's other wife.

So she nags Samson -- Oh please! Let's not judge either her or Samson. Bible readers are always behaving as if IF they were in Samson's position they wouldn't have caved. Or if they loved someone they wouldn't have betrayed Samson. Well, let's see what happens when/if persecution comes. I can see why Delilah nagged. Although, I have to admit...she could've told Samson they were bribing her. Anyway I can see why Samson caved after being nagged so long. -- and Samson gives up his secret (He has a Nazarite vow of purity and cannot cut his hair.)

Again, at the end, we don't see the Phillistines harming any of the Israelites. They just don't seem real prone to harming anyone... and they only go against Samson after he killed their people.

But what gets me here in this story is how utterly at peace the Israelites were with being oppressed? And that God had to go to such measures to cause trouble with their oppressors? That's the way the Christian world is -- we're at ease with our diseases, the demonic element, the ways of the world. Ah, unholy peace! We need a holy troublemaker to challenge us to destroy the giants in the land. -C

Leadership Building Blocks: An Insider’s Guide to Success

Leadership Building Blocks: An Insider’s Guide to Success
by Dawn McCoy

Paperback: 208 pages

Publisher: Flourish Publishing Group (February 1, 2010)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0981994490

ISBN-13: 978-0981994499

Want to be an extraordinary leader? Lead with courage and integrity – and make it work for you!

A former elected official and community leader offers timeless Leadership Building Blocks as strategies essential for today’s leaders. This book will challenge and inspire you to be bold, dynamic, and resilient and shows you how to leave a remarkable legacy in any leadership role.

You will follow the author’s experience and discover how to:

Get an insider perspective and condense your leadership learning curve
Honor your intuition and make better decisions
Achieve results with leadership short-cuts without compromising quality
Lead courageously in the face of adversity
Connect with people and secure buy-in from solid relationships
Are you new to a leadership role? Leadership Building Blocks provides you a step-by-step guide in your leadership journey. No longer wet behind the ears? You’ll gain helpful resources and greater insight.

Unlike other leadership books, Leadership Building Blocks offers you a systemic approach that keeps you on the right track. The result: reduce your learning curve, have more fun, and leverage your experiences.

About the Author

Dawn McCoy is author of Leadership Building Blocks: An Insider’s Guide to Success. As one of the youngest elected African-American elected to the Sacramento City Unified School Board, McCoy shares seven leadership fundamentals in her book. Inspiring readers to be top in their field, Dawn shares her insights based upon twenty years serving as a nonprofit and government executive.

A motivational speaker, coach, and founder of Flourish Leadership Group, a leadership development and communications firm, Dawn is dedicated to transforming ordinary people into extraordinary leaders. In recent years, she has worked with organizations to develop their vision and create phenomenal results. Dawn has worked with hundreds of individuals to help them capture their spirit of leadership and truly become the effective leaders they were meant to be.

Souls in Transition: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of Emerging Adults

Souls in Transition: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of Emerging Adults 
Christian Smith with Patricia Snell (Oxford University press)

• Hardcover: 368 pages
• Publisher: Oxford University Press, USA (September 14, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0195371798
• ISBN-13: 978-0195371796

Finished Joshua

Okay, I have never really loved the book of Joshua. All that land allotment stuff. And I've always loved Judges. As a bit of legal fun -- to see how the people mess up when they start occupying the land and doing that which they thought was good in their hearts.

But now I've finished Joshua and I'm thinking of that spiritual kingdom we Christians should have conquered. Healing of the sick, casting out of demons, cleansing the lepers -- such giants! I'm sad, I'll admit it. The Church has cast aside so much of its glories. St Paul said we should preach the word with power, that God wants to prove the sonship and glory of Jesus through great works done in Christ's name.

I look at Joshua and it reminds me of the Book of Acts. The land still unconquered, the captain of the people's salvation...and the conqueror/deliverer now gone...and trusting the people to occupy the land. And I get so sad that in the geographical case and in the spiritual/literal case, the people of God have compromised with the giants.

I'm mad at the early church for losing the way under Constantine, at other parasitic religions that fed off Christianity (and further confused the issue) and at modern human laziness and sin. I want to believe that at least in this life -- in MY life-- the glories of Christ's great salvation can be revealed. So upsetting, though.

I have several atheist and moslem friends who walk about sneering at Christ. Philosophical ideas are not what God told us to use. We are to use God-with-us, the power of Jesus' blood, the power of God's living word, the name to which all names must bow. I could argue til I'm blue in my black face that Jesus is Lord and that he had to shed his perfect and righteous blood for the remission of the sins of the whole world -- of whom I am chief sinner. But let God heal my son! Let God's people rise up against giants such as cancer and schizophrenia and autism and AIDS with only the name of Jesus...and let the giants tumble.... then my friends will shut their mouths and magnify our God! -C

Weekend Movie-Viewing: The Suffering Silent Lover Edition

Okay, there's a lot of suffering silent lovers in Asian films. Perhaps the Asian culture has more about self-sacrifice than the western culture. (But I've seen a lot of movies with silent loving western types.) Who knows? Not in the mood to ponder too much now.

So I saw two movies. The first was Diva Love, a Taiwanese romantic comedy and the second was Ditto, a Korean romantic version of the American film Frequency.

Diva Love was so forgettable, I not only forgot scenes from the movie, I actually forgot what the entire film was about and had to jog my memory. Okay, so here it goes: Gorgeous hunk sees gorgeous girl and says, "if she's destined for me, we'll meet again." So, of course they meet again but this time -- as happens in sacrificing suffering lover films-- she's with some other guy. His brother. She's married to HIS brother. His brother (of course) is weak and is fooling around with a secretary. Long story short, yadda yadda, they get together after brother and sis-in-law divorce. The only good thing about this movie was the actor...quite cute. The bad thing about this flick: the depiction of Asian young modern woman. She's hip and modern but kinda cute floozy-lite. She has that kind of "what the hell is this offense?" thing that women in these flicks have? I mean she gets offended about something -- I guess to show she's a strong woman-- but really there's nothing there that would offend me. But it's the kind of offense one finds in western and eastern romantic comedies...to show the woman has a mind of her own and is real deep. So, yeah, whatever. But what was really especially annoying was the forced giddiness when she gets drunk or feels sad or hopeless. Yeah, I know... it's supposed to be cute. Well, it's not.

Not that women in the Taiwanese culture can't be cutely drunk, or cutely tempestuous. But honestly, I don't know if they really can do it in such a western way. (Am i being too provincial here?) Those kind of silly tantrums and shouting in a restaurant and well...all those stereotypical young woman drama.... I just felt it was way borrowed. I'd have preferred sexual humor founded in the Asian culture. But then, as I said, I could be talking out my ear. Maybe all young drunk sexy things act this way....and that's why guys love them.

So the next movie.... now this one was sadder...seeing it's Korean and all. In Ditto, a boy from 2000 and a girl from 1979 talk to each other on Ham radio. Usual stuff happens but then boy tells girl who his parents are. SPOILER!!!! Yes, boy is the son of girl's present boyfriend and present best friend. From the moment the girl hears this, she withdraws from life. And she lives her life in sorrow. (People love real deeply in korean films.) But then there is the chance that she could fall in love with the son of her boyfriend. But when she meets him (in the present) -- although the sparks are all there-- she does the same thing (DITTO, get it) that she did before ...bypass him. Thus she dooms herself to sorrow for the rest of her life.

Okay, call me a hopeless romantic. But why couldn't she have hooked up with the son? I thought about it. First, I suppose because she couldn't have fallen in love with a kid younger than she was. There's this weird Korean thing about age-friends. So it would've been weird. Second, she would've been in love with her old boyfriend, really. Not the son himself. Thirdly, if she chose to love him she would've been intruding yet again into someone else's life -- the young girl the kid from 2000 is kinda sorta hanging out with. (Okay, a very romantic part of me wanted the girl from 2000 to somehow be the daughter of the 1979 girl. In that way, the children could've gotten together even though the parents didn't. Yes, I wanted that because I'm hopelessly western. And because, great marriage though I have, I totally think a person could love again. There can be more than one great loves in a person's life, no?)

So I wasn't real please at the ending. Then I got into a discussion with a friend who really loves sad movies. Too much so I think. And I got to thinking about the willfulness of hopelessness. Nihilism could become so romanticized in some people that hope offends some people. (I am not naming names but it got me annoyed that he wouldn't want to give these characters hope. And it got him annoyed that I kept insisting on a hopeful way out of the story.)

Dang, that someone could hold on to hopelessness with so much willful intensity! No, I don't think so. Give a character hope, I say. But what got me was the willful need to be hopeless. Very annoying. Anyway, that's my internet movie stuff for the weekend. -C

WTF Moment in Bible Study: the death of leaders

Okay, so there is hubby and me finishing up Deuteronomy. And what do I do? I start crying and weeping and blubbering at Moses' death. Snot is everywhere. I'm imagining all the Israelites feeling bereft cause the leader who has led them these many years is now going to die. (Why do people go up to mountains to die? Okay, Moses is buried by God in a valley but he died on the mountain. So, yeah... Aaron dies on Horeb and Moses dies on Nebo.)

Anyway, I got to thinking of when Jesus died and left his disciples. Then I got to thinking of the verse about ....God had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd.

Maybe I've been wounded by all the silly helpless, cruel, cold, inept ministers I've had to deal with. Or maybe I'm dealing with loss of grandfather issues. Who knows? Maybe it was some sort of cosmic desperate cry of loneliness and wanting to be near God...or at least to be near someone who is close to God.

Then I remembered one of my favorite hymns that we sing almost every night. There's a line which goes: "Not as orphans are we left in sorrow now." I tell myself I must remember that.

I just cried and cried as if I had lost my own father. Very weird.

Alleluia! sing to Jesus! His the scepter, His the throne.
Alleluia! His the triumph, His the victory alone.
Hark! the songs of peaceful Zion thunder like a mighty flood.
Jesus out of every nation has redeemed us by His blood.

Alleluia! not as orphans are we left in sorrow now;
Alleluia! He is near us, faith believes, nor questions how;
Though the cloud from sight received Him when the forty days were o’er
Shall our hearts forget His promise, “I am with you evermore”?

Alleluia! bread of angels, Thou on earth our food, our stay;
Alleluia! here the sinful flee to Thee from day to day:
Intercessor, Friend of sinners, Earth’s Redeemer, plead for me,
Where the songs of all the sinless sweep across the crystal sea.

Alleluia! King eternal, Thee the Lord of lords we own;
Alleluia! born of Mary, Earth Thy footstool, Heav’n Thy throne:
Thou within the veil hast entered, robed in flesh our great High Priest;
Thou on earth both priest and victim in the Eucharistic feast.

Okay, saw Synesthesia 2006

I saw Synesthesia today (some movies on that list I simply cannot bring myself to watch) and well,....flooding thoughts.

Basic synopsis: Weird murderer killing people surrounded by this little girl, Mari. Shin and Takashi -- computer-types just this shy of the law-- protect her. Shin's a synesthete. And the murderer is a synesthete. And the female cop looking to find the murderer suspects as much.

First: weirdly, the thing that touches me about this film is Shin's relationship with Takashi. Okay, sure it's the helpless little friend/brother thing but it works. And although the writers didn't give Takashi much of a backstory, there was enough there to make the viewer really like him and LONG for his happiness. Heck, we didn't even know the depth of his need to find love until he discovered it when he fell for Mari.

Secondly: that ending. The very last bits of it.... Aaaargh!!!!!!! This is something that annoys the heck out of me when it comes to certain Japanese movies and you'll probably groan in disbelief when I say this but honestly I would rather believe that Shin is carrying his friend's body down that hill rather than Mari's. YES, the shot is messed up. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen a Japanese or Korean movie which is unduly confusing because I simply don't know what has happened at the end. (Yes, you may laugh...but it took me a while to figure out the ending of Viva Love.) So here we have a long shot.... and someone being carried...and I KNOW it's supposed to be Mari because, well, Takashi is a smelly corpse by now and probably burnt. But as a writer (and you're one too) I will challenge these screenwriters. They're the ones who had Takashi say (when he was so involved in the video game) "Take me to the hill yadda yadda and bury me yadda yadda." So, if they were to book-end that little motif and honor the friendship between the guys they SHOULD've had Shin carry his friend's body...or urn.

Thirdly.... True, the two synesthetses (?) found each other. And I keep remembering C S Lewis' definition of friendship. ("True friendship is when you meet someone and you say, "You do that too?" Something like that.) But dang! Although it was touching for him to find someone very much like himself, it wasn't as if he hadn't found love. And that is an important point. Sure we saw his pregnant girlfriend being stressed out about her inability to truly understand him...but the filmmakers mightily missed the boat because they didn't show his grief or sorrow about not being understood. So, whether it was a writerly mistake or not, the film itself doesn't show that
Shin lacked much or even was feeling alone. Not meaning to be a pain here...but you know as well as I do that writers can "think" they've put something into a plot when they haven't really put it in the story at all. Shin just didn't seem all that lonely. So, my friend James who recommended this flick has imbued the Shin character with a longing and grief the character just doesn't have...or at least one which (if it's there) isn't properly shown by the screenwriters' skill.

There are so many things that bothered me about this movie....although I gotta say I liked it. It didn't quite do the paranoia thriller thing for me. It didn't do the police procedural thing. (Nope. Definitely didn't hold together there.) It didn't do the surreal hallucinatory thing (which might have been nice.) It didn't do the medical thriller. And it didn't touch me with the sense of loss. When James described this movie, I thought: wow, I'll be enveloped in loss, longing, and alienation. I WAITED for it. Nada, nada. I want my alienation and isolation heavy. And we didn't see this from Shin at all. Yep, he was relatively well-adjusted.

I will always remember this movie as the story of two lost "brothers:" Mari's brother who lost her. Shin's loss of Takashi (his friend/brother.) And maybe even as a story of a pregnant woman attempting to connect to her boyfriend but I will always remember it joyfully as the story of Takashi. Which isn't bad. I liked the movie for that...and that's where the heart of the film was for me.

James steered me to a good flick...but alas, for all the wrong reasons. I liked it, though..
I have to add that hubby thought Shin shouldn't have killed her. He's sitting beside me suggesting Shin should have sent her to the cops or to psychotherapists. Honestly! Yeah, Shin didn't have to kill her but it was one of the most necrophiliac erotic murders I've seen in a while. So...perhaps some fulfillment there. For the characters...not me.

Korean and Japanese Movies Recommended to me that I HAVE to see

This is a compiled list from several folks. These don't include the one's I've already seen. Some are very heart-breaking and some are popcorn stuff. They don't include the ones I've seen already and posted on. (A few Chinese flicks thrown in)

Project Makeover
Happiness
Josee, the Tiger, and The Fish
My Girl and I
Sorum
Seducing Mr Perfect
Brotherhood
Samaritan Girl
The Classic
Legend of the Seven Cutter
Sympathy for Mr Vengeance
Synaesthenia
Becoming Myself
Please teach me English
Marriage is a Crazy Thing
Someone Special
Love & Pop
Love Phobia
...ing
Spring Bears Love
The Man who was superman
Old Boy
Dead Friend
Innocent Steps
You are my Sunshine
No One To Watch Over Me
what happened last night
The house guest and my mother
10 Promises to my dog
One liter of tears
You are not alone
Attack of the pinup boys
A tale of two sisters
Ditto
The Turning Gate
My Sassy Girl
Tears
Lovely Complex
100 Days with Mr Arrogant
Romantic Island
He was cool
Windstruck
My first love
My Brother is Type B
Almost Love
My Love
A Wolf's Temptation
Daisy
Crazy First Love
A moment to Remember
Sweet Lies AKA Lost and Found
Hana-bi
Now and Forever
Don't laugh at my romance
Paris Love Story
Beast and the Beauty
When Romance meets Destiny
Dear Enemy
Secret Sunshine
The Case of the Itaewon Homicide
First Kiss
Singles
Love Me Not
Frivolous Wife
Old Miss Diary
The sunflower
Daddy long legs
A boy who went to heaven
Tears for you
Picnic
Princess Aurora
One fine spring day
Once in a summer.
Castaway on the Moon
The Chaser
I'm a Cyborg
Art of Seduction
Kick the Moon
My Tutor Friend 2
And the Rest is Silence
3 Iron House ? <-- I think.... I can't read my handwriting.
White Valentine
The Killer
Baby and Me
Beautiful
Departures
Fine, Totally Fine,
My Brother
Voice of a Murderer

Always Remember

Decolonizing God: The Bible in the Tides of Empire

Decolonizing God: The Bible in the Tides of Empire by Mark G. Brett

• Hardcover: 248 pages
• Publisher: Sheffield Phoenix Press (31 Jul 2008)
• Language English
• ISBN-10: 1906055378
• ISBN-13: 978-1906055370

Here's the blurb:

For centuries, the Bible has been used by colonial powers to undergird their imperial designs--an ironic situation when so much of the Bible was conceived by way of resistance to empires. In this thoughtful book, Mark Brett draws upon his experience of the colonial heritage in Australia to identify a remarkable range of areas where God needs to be decolonized--freed from the bonds of the colonial. Writing in a context where landmark legal cases have ruled that Indigenous (Aboriginal) rights have been 'washed away by the tide of history', Brett re-examines land rights in the biblical traditions, Deuteronomy's genocidal imagination, and other key topics in both the Hebrew Bible and the New Testament where the effects of colonialism can be traced. Drawing out the implications for theology and ethics, this book provides a comprehensive new proposal for addressing the legacies of colonialism. A ground-breaking work of scholarship that makes a major intervention into post-colonial studies. This book confirms the relevance of post-colonial theory to biblical scholarship and provides an exciting and original approach to biblical interpretation. Bill Ashcroft, University of Hong Kong and University of New South Wales; author of The Empire Writes Back: Theory and Practice in Post-Colonial Literatures (2002). Acutely sensitive to the historical as well as theological complexity of the Bible, Mark Brett's Decolonizing God brilliantly demonstrates the value of a critical assessment of the Bible as a tool for rethinking contemporary possibilities. The contribution of this book to ethical and theological discourse in a global perspective and to a politics of hope is immense. Tamara C. Eskenazi, Hebrew Union College, Los Angeles; editor of The Torah: A Women's Commentary (2007).

Look, Mom, a Nigger

Okay, so I'm lying awake in bed last night and I got to mentally tweaking My Life as an Onion -- cause as long as it isn't published, even though it's with the Delacorte editors awaiting the outcome, I can tweak away to my heart's content-- and it occurred to me that I really should slip in some little incident that deals with prejudice. Yes, the book is filled with my main character dealing with her prejudices but it's notoriously lacking in scenes where someone is mean to her because she's black and heck! in real life anti-Black prejudice is often subtly around.

So I got to remembering something that happened to older son. He was in Storm King NY near a deli and a bus stop (and take care to remember that upstate New York is often called upsouth New York) and he's kinda standing there waiting for something or other and a cute little tow-headed little girl -- about four or five, he remembers-- suddenly sees him and shouts to her mother, (while pointing at him), "Look, Mom, a Nigger."

Son kinda looked at her in mild surprise. Older son is a sweetie and way saner and less easily-hurt about stuff than I am so he kinda just rolled his eyes and moved on. He says the only thing he was thinking about was that it was a cute little kid and to hear such weirdness come out of the kid's mouth. Of course the mom looked all surprised and embarrassed... but heck kids say the darnedst things...especially if they've been hearing them from mom and dad.

So I'm thinking there has to be a little scenelet in Onion where out of the blue, apropos of nothing, someone says something really racist to my main character for no good reason. For that's the way it works. It could be a gentle kind of superiorness - the kind I've received in white churches-- or it could be harsher (like some white kids shouting Nigger from their Transam or Lexus as they whisk by main character on the highway. Or it could be pretty much the scene that happened to older son.

But the thing is: I don't want it to detract from the scene it's in. I just want it to slip in and slip out. Cause that's often how racism happens to black folks.

And why do I not want to write a scene that's about a black person dealing with racism? Because honestly, it's a big deal and it's not a big deal. That's how racism happens, subtly...and a person moves on. But I want to do it when the main character is already in a state. Cause that's also when racism happens. You're burying your mom and in grief as it is and then some racist (of whatever color but black) has to slip into the picture with some rude comment.)

The thing is I hate regurgitation. I hate showing a bad scene or something physically or emotionally upsetting in the exact way it happens. I've heard a few sermons which were nothing but thinly-disguised rants made by a preacher with a grudge. (Alas, I am way too discerning so I could see through it into the bitterness...and it often pissed me off to have had trudged myself to church to have to deal with some black or gay or feminist or whatever minister spilling out his/her agenda.) So, yeah, regurgitation is not in the picture. If I want to regurgitate and vomit all over people I generally do a really beautiful poignant essay (patting self on back.)

Kinda apropos: when I was about eleven, my half-sister (the same age) said to me "Daddy loves me more than you because I'm lighter." She doesn't remember this now, nor does she remember that she got a beating from my grandfather for that. But it's affected me all my life...a terrible kind of self-loathing which oppresses me sometimes I can't even move. To this day I don't know what I look like. I never look in the mirror. When I see myself on the back cover of my book or on facebook or on the internet, I cringe. It's that bad. When I die and am hovering over my bed, ready to transfer to the great beyond, it'll take me a while to recognize who that fat dead figure on the bed is.

But I never put that in my novels. Not the scene itself anyway. I have never written a scene where one sister says to the other, "Look, sis, you're a nigger." But I put it in Wind Follower subtly -- unregurgitated. Because storytelling is my most elegant use of my neurosis. I simply made Satha too dark and I made her unable to look in mirrors. (Of course if this ever becomes a movie (CGI please!) they'll probably make her lighter-skinned. Not a nigger like me.

Onto tweaking Onion and to slipping in the racial scenelet. I just feel -- as a black writer-- I shouldn't omit something that occurs fairly commonly in the lives of black folks. Onward.

Moses just can't seem to get over it

Okay, hubby and I are still in Deuteronomy. Just finished chapter six. And other than the other stuff Moses keeps reminding folks of...the main one is how often he reminds the people that because of their actions, the Lord didn't allow him to go into the promised land. He's almost obsessed with it. It's like every paragraph he mentions it. I feel so sad about it. To have journeyed around for 40 years in the wilderness -- and when you think of it, it's like he spent 80 years in the wilderness total-- and to not be allowed to gain the prize because of one stupid mistake. And God's merciless about it.

Then there's the section where the people say: Let not God speak with us.

A request made by the Jewish people for themselves and their descendants...and which God answered, but with a sad, "I wish they wanted to." As Moses says, no other nation in the rest of the world has ever heard God speak to them directly. And the nation to which He so wanted to show Himself to...just couldn't bear it. Sure it's terrifying...and it's safest for a sinful person living without the grace found in Christ to have prophets through whom God speaks to...but still, what a birthright to give up! Sad.

-C

Okay, am in Deuteronomy

I love it that God tells Moses not to oppress the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites...because he also brought them up and blessed them with this land. Am wondering why Moses didn't tell these peoples what God had said about them. Maybe he didn't want them to know what God said about them. And yet, perhaps if he had told them what God had said about not touching them....maybe they would've let the children of Israel pass through their lands.

NEXT:
Okay, what's with the parenthesis. I always wonder about how the King James translators dealt with punctuation. Much of the messy translation in KJV comes from folks not quite knowing what the Greeks were doing with punctuation. For instance....the theology of if you can believe...check out the punctuation!

New International Version (©1984)
"'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
New Living Translation (©2007)
"What do you mean, 'If I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if a person believes."

English Standard Version (©2001)
And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.”

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
And Jesus said to him, "'If You can?' All things are possible to him who believes."

International Standard Version (©2008)
Jesus said to him, "'If you are able?' Everything is possible for the person who believes!"

GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)
Jesus said to him, "As far as possibilities go, everything is possible for the person who believes."

King James Bible
Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

American King James Version
Jesus said to him, If you can believe, all things are possible to him that believes.

American Standard Version
And Jesus said unto him, If thou canst! All things are possible to him that believeth.

Bible in Basic English
And Jesus said to him, If you are able! All things are possible to him who has faith.

Douay-Rheims Bible
And Jesus saith to him: If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

Darby Bible Translation
And Jesus said to him, The 'if thou couldst' is if thou couldst believe: all things are possible to him that believes.

English Revised Version
And Jesus said unto him, If thou canst! All things are possible to him that believeth.

Webster's Bible Translation
Jesus said to him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

Weymouth New Testament
"'If I possibly can!'" replied Jesus; "why, everything is possible to him who believes."

World English Bible
Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes."

Young's Literal Translation
And Jesus said to him, 'If thou art able to believe! all things are possible to the one that is believing;'

NEXT:
loved this:

4But ye that did cleave unto the LORD your God are alive every one of you this day.

5Behold, I have taught you statutes and judgments, even as the LORD my God commanded me, that ye should do so in the land whither ye go to possess it.

6Keep therefore and do them; for this is your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the nations, which shall hear all these statutes, and say, Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.

7For what nation is there so great, who hath God so nigh unto them, as the LORD our God is in all things that we call upon him for?

8And what nation is there so great, that hath statutes and judgments so righteous as all this law, which I set before you this day?

2And the LORD spake unto me, saying,

3Ye have compassed this mountain long enough: turn you northward.

4And command thou the people, saying, Ye are to pass through the coast of your brethren the children of Esau, which dwell in Seir; and they shall be afraid of you: take ye good heed unto yourselves therefore:

5Meddle not with them; for I will not give you of their land, no, not so much as a foot breadth; because I have given mount Seir unto Esau for a possession.

6Ye shall buy meat of them for money, that ye may eat; and ye shall also buy water of them for money, that ye may drink.

7For the LORD thy God hath blessed thee in all the works of thy hand: he knoweth thy walking through this great wilderness: these forty years the LORD thy God hath been with thee; thou hast lacked nothing.

8And when we passed by from our brethren the children of Esau, which dwelt in Seir, through the way of the plain from Elath, and from Eziongaber, we turned and passed by the way of the wilderness of Moab.

9And the LORD said unto me, Distress not the Moabites, neither contend with them in battle: for I will not give thee of their land for a possession; because I have given Ar unto the children of Lot for a possession.

10The Emims dwelt therein in times past, a people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims;

11Which also were accounted giants, as the Anakims; but the Moabites called them Emims.

12The Horims also dwelt in Seir beforetime; but the children of Esau succeeded them, when they had destroyed them from before them, and dwelt in their stead; as Israel did unto the land of his possession, which the LORD gave unto them.

General Update

Okay, so am on a fast from television for Lent. I figured it'd be easier than avoiding a food and it'd help me control what comes into my mind. But aaargh, it's getting hard.

For one, I use TV as my comforter. It keeps me from getting too overwhelmed with my blues or whatever hits me. So now I have to face my weird issues and grief without cake to dull them (diet) and without the din. Whatever shall I do? I'm trusting that this will strengthen my soul, though. Each day I come downstairs and do NOT turn on the TV, is a strengthening of the soul.

Okay, so...next: Well, am stepping out in the belief that I am actually liked. Very hard to do after one has been clobbered by creepy people. (but I will not whine.)

Next.... trying to figure out if the ending of Constant Tower is right. Haven't reached the ending yet in my revisions...but ya know... a girl's got to think ahead. I think Ephan carries my grief at not belonging...and Psal carries my anger at the herd mind. And Maharai carries my need for the loving family and the devastation of the lost family. But honestly, is she vengeful? Would she bond with her new family and thus...not be able to kill them? Ah, it's all a blur right now. Am feeling that I'll be super-surprised at how this story comes out....yeah, cause I'm rethinking that ending. Thing is, though, I have to finish it by April. Cause by then the Delacorte contest will be over and I intend to have won it...so I'll be working with the editors to perfect Onion for them. Positive speaking, uh?

Am realizing also that I would make a crappy feminist if I were one. As the mother of a son, I'm totally into seeing the troubles men have to deal with. A white feminist friend of mine asked why I made a non-black boy my main character...and alas, I had no real sound reason. I guess I could say that the "boy goes on a journey" theme is so with me that my mind is trapped within the paradigm and I can't get it out. But...who knows? Boys just come to my mind to tell their stories. They're rarely white, though...usually Native American or Asian. Although Psal is bi-racial: black and white.

What else? Well, it looks like younger son is finally going to school tomorrow. He's gone about fourteen days all semester...since September. But we went to his allergist -- whose existence I had all but forgotten until God reminded me-- and he's really on the ball and really has helped us with it.

In addition, we're reading the Bible out loud every day...from cover to cover. Am sure that's helping. Unemployment still around. Can't really see where money is coming from. But the Lord keeps telling me not to be afraid. And finally, I have some peace...and ability to trust. Just gotta find myself and my trust for CT.

That's about it. -C

the deliberate dumbing down of america - A Chronological Paper Trail: A Chronological Paper Trail

by
Charlotte Iserbyte
The Deliberate Dumbing Down of America

Paperback: 715 pages

Publisher: 3D Research; third edition (September 1, 1999)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0966707109

ISBN-13: 978-0966707106

WTF Moment in Bible Study: Aaron's Rod that Budded

Numbers 17: The entire congregation of Israel didn't believe Moses was the chosen one when God opens up the earth and Korah et al are thrown into the fire....or when the plague attacks them from God....but they stop their rebellion when Aaron's rod buds?

Uhm..... Why? Am thinking it's because the budding of Aaron's rod is life-affirming? Because the budding of Aaron's rod is a creative life-affirming godly act rather than a destructive act?

It is the goodness of God that calls men to repentance, as the prophet says.

Also, is this Korah episode the first mention of hell in Scripture?

-C

AAAARGH!!!!!

Would you believe I totally forgot that today was Gabe's birthday....until we were at his allergist's office. His allergist is a wonderful perfect doctor named Dr Wojcik. Almost eighty-five years old and in perfect health. I had totally forgotten about his existence and then last week it suddenly dawned on me: Nothing's helping Gabe: Call Dr Wojcik.

It was like a shining beacon.

So we went ...and voila, while the secretary is looking at his chart...she mentions the date and I'm like..."oh, my, oh, my! It's Gabe's birthday I think." What a brain!

Anyway, I don't know what I'll do when Dr Wojcik retires. (By the way, by some odd coincidence his daughter-in-law (a really sweet Filipina woman) nursed my mother when she was dying at Mt Sinai. Weird, uh?

Anyway, we have a new course of stuff and meds and advice and various things to do for Gabe and although Gabe's regular ped, Dr Schaff is a sweetie, he was out of his elements when it comes to flaky autism-allergy-immunology stuff. Of course all the advice and tests brought home yet again just how many things are wrong with Gabe, just how much money it'll take to fix them all (if they're fixable at all), and how overwhelming it all is. So I came home and spent much of the day walking around the house shouting, "AAAAHHH, GOD!!!! MERCY!!!" which is kinda pitiful and heart-breaking if one actually is in the house hearing me scream and cry like this all day.

But then I got three emails from different folks all with the word "miracle" in them. What a blessing that was! I can only say that perhaps....God is encouraging me to, Like Abraham, hope against hope. Anyways, we just went out the house to get Gabe's birthday cake. I SOOO wish I had a normal life....but who knows? Still one's gotta hope.

Bernice Johnson Reagon in conversation

All the Scholar Ladies!

Ah, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers

Hubby and I are now in Numbers - the book of wanderings, the book of the census of Israel.

Gotta say that Exodus is totally fun. It's like a God production. Hey, God himself said so. This massive plague and destruction of Pharoah was made so that people would believe and talk about it forever. From God's show-down with Pharoah, to God presenting himself to his people (you can feel the excitement), to the directions to make the ark of the covenant, the altar and the tabernacle, to the total building up of them. Talk about organization! And then there's the culmination after the tabernacle is built and God enters the tabernacle to live with his people. WOW! Super-exciting!

What really got me was the way God proclaimed himself! I am The Lord! Then he expands a bit. But yes! He seemed to be overjoyed at the prospect of meeting and living with his people. Also, before that --when he says to the children of Moses, "Your forefathers knew me as the Lord Almighty but now I tell you my name. It is The Lord. I am." Just very sweet. Also a favorite...when Moses saw the glory of God, seeing God's back parts -- wow, the glory of that. The cherubim go around the throne saying holy, holy, holy. What is God's part like? What other multiverses and aspects of his beings are there to see!

Okay, so stuff that made me go....uhmmm

Joseph had commanded his family to take up his body and bring it into the Joseph's body is being carried around by the people as well as the ark. Uhm... so there are the people carrying the ark and carrying a dead corpse as well -- cause they hadn't gone into the promised land yet.

The list of sexual sins in Leviticus: I wonder when these laws began to take affect. The sin against marrying one's half-sister for instance. Abraham was married to his half-sister. So the law didn't grandfather all the way back. But among those 1.5 million folks travelling across the desert...I suspect some of these folks must've been married to folks they shouldn't have been. We don't hear anything about folks suddenly tossing their wife-sisters -- or tossing their father's widow-- when they heard Moses make this law. So maybe there was a cut-off line.

The son of the the Egyptian who cursed God. I always wondered why this guy cursed God. Sure we get mad and have fights so I understand why he was fighting in the camp. But why curse God? Just a wild guess here but I suspect someone insulted him because he wasn't fully Israelite and he came back with "F*ck you and f*ck YHWH too." He probably was specifically mad at their God because the guy who was fighting with him had said something theological to annoy him. Just a thought.

The Levites -- I think I finally figured out why God chose them as the holy tribe. From what I saw about Levi in Genesis he was a murderer (the murder of prince Shechem) and Jacob had cursed him. But he might have had a relationship with God that we don't see. After all, when Moses called people to his side -- after he saw the partying after the Golden Calf etc-- it was the Levites who came to his side. Of course they might have gone to his side because Moses was from their tribe. But I suspect Levi had taught them something very deep that had stayed with them throughout the generation.

Numbers -- Yes, the Baalam story. Christians get worked up about God supposedly changing his mind by telling Baalam not to go to the prince then supposedly "changing his mind" and telling him to the princes. (Not really worked up about the horse, though.) But to me this is a theological problem caused by bad translating. In most Bibles around the world, God says to Balaam "IF the princes of Moab call you, THEN go." And the next morning Baalam rose up. And the princes of Moab hadn't come and called him. But Christians have pet theologies and common sense and obvious Biblical exegesis won't get in the way.

Onward...

How to say "I love you" in ten languages

Esther Wahome - Yahwe

War Child -- Documentary on Child Soldiers in Sudan

Decision Made

Okay, the decision is made. If Constant Tower wants to have a religious element or religious parallels...then I'll let it. There's a peace about it. Heck, Carole McDonnell (moi) is a writer of religious novels -- spec-fic, racial, or whatever...that's what my fans will expect.

So, after this Peace Child thing pops up in CT and pondering Don Richardson's Peace Child....then what else can I do?

I guess the best way to explain all this is to get into some C S Lewis quotes:

First, because Psal is not made for his world. This the story becomes either religious or political. A political story attacks a system and thinks if the system changes or if people are educated enough, then all will be well. A religious story says that no matter what the system...people will be fairly creepy and main character wouldn't be happy in the world no matter what politics or system he encountered. Thus, it's above any kind of feminist view of the world-- even though the world in the story is basically ruled by men.

"If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world."
— C.S. Lewis


Secondly, there's Psal's deep ability to love. I can't very well show it as a merely erotic or friendly attachment. Psal's too committed to the object of his love for that.

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."
— C.S. Lewis

Thirdly, there is the whole impermanence of the world Psal inhabits.
"I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now...Come further up, come further in!"
— C.S. Lewis (The Last Battle)

And lastly (there are tons of other reasons in between) there is the plain creative fact that this is where the story wants to go.

So there.

"The value of myth is that it takes all the things you know and restores to them the rich significance which has been hidden by the veil of familiarity."
— C.S. Lewis

An outcast Peace Child is born.
-C

One Church Many Tribes, by Native American pastor, Richard Twiss

One Church Many Tribes - Following Jesus The Way God Made You by Richard Twiss Our Price: $11.75 On Sale: $9.99 READ SHPPING POLICY Here's his statement on the www.wiconi.com website

Our Vision: To live meaningful lives as followers of Jesus and encourage others in their journey toward healthy relationships with God, community, other ethnic groups, and creation. Our Aspirations: In the spirit of Jesus to assist indigenous peoples in walking with Creator that results in wholeness and health in every sphere of human activity. To network with Native and non-Native leaders to develop culturally appropriate approaches to living out a biblical faith while honoring the cultural expressions of First Nations peoples. To see Indigenous traditions and worldview values embraced as a vital influence in shaping Christendom throughout the Americas. To serve the global community of God as a bridge builder and consulting resource for developing genuine community, unity, consciousness of social justice, creation stewardship and mutuality among diverse peoples. Our Intentions: To develop biblical education models, materials, national seminars and learning centers to provide indigenous people with a biblical framework that resonates with the global conversation around discovering a post-colonial theology that incorporate the values and structures of Native people throughout North, Central South America and beyond. To organize and lead international Native Dance and Performing Arts Team(s), to share the beauty of our cultures, tribal and personal stories to build bridges of peace and understanding in the global community. To encourage, promote, and facilitate the producing of praise & worship music that utilizes traditional Native sounds and styles. Our Biblical Values: We believe that Creator exists within himself as community; God-the-Father, God-the-the Son, and God-the-Holy Spirit. God is Author, Creator, and Sustainer of all human and non-human creation. We believe the Biblical story is God's self-revelation to humankind and that it is for all peoples and all languages everywhere as the sacred writings of God. We believe that humankind was created in the image of God, but because of pride and rebellion, rejected the Creator’s path of beauty, wandering in darkness and alienation from God. Jesus performed the "once and for all ceremony" through His death on a cross, and resurrection from the dead. By this He defeated the power of death and made a way for all tribes and nations to return to a loving relationship within the community of Heaven. Wiconi International PO Box 5246 Vancouver, WA 98668

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"we-cho-nee" Lakota/Sioux language meaning "Life" HECEL LENA OYATE KIN NIPI KTE “THAT THESE PEOPLE MAY LIVE” The thief comes only to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10 These words of Jesus, the Waymaker, convey the heart and passion of Katherine and I, and the entire staff of Wiconi International. Our First Nations people know what it means to suffer the loss of land, dignity, self-respect, life and a way of living. Though this has sadly become the normal every day reality for our people, our aim is help make a positive difference for future generations of Native people. Jesus brings power and hope for a better tomorrow. He does not bring religion, legalism, shame, oppression or paternalism, though sadly, Christianity often does. Our prayer is that people may live, and live in abundance, spirit, soul and body! In the spirit of Jesus we want to assist people in experiencing ultimate freedom, and deliverance from the powers of darkness that still prevail in our lands and communities; this evil is seen in the alcohol and drug abuse, incest, suicide, poverty and despair. There are dark and evil spirits that are stealing, killing and destroying our people every day. In addition, there are oppressive and unjust economic and political systems that continue to prolong dependency and control. At Wiconi International, we are working and praying to find better ways to support and empower people to find true genuine, hope and confidence for a better tomorrow. It is a freedom that affirms, embraces and respects the unique and God-given cultural realities of our people, not rejecting or demonizing them. We hope to inspire people with a fresh vision about the possibilities that exist to make a dynamic positive contribution for Christ by walking among our people “in a good way.” We can proudly say that on our site you will find some of the best resources available for those interested in walking among Native people in a good way that reflects the life of Jesus in a culturally relevant and contextual way. At our "Resources" page you can read descriptions of each book, cassette tape, video, CD, VBS curriculum workbook and children's books. Pilamaya yelo - thank you – Richard & Katherine Twiss, Rosebud Lakota/Sioux President & Vice-president, Wiconi International

I totally totally LOOOOOVE Pastor Twiss. I DEFINITELY recommend going to the www.wiconi.com site. I've seen white folks cringe when he gives sermons on TBN. He'll say things like "Do you think I wanted to get involved with the God who had sent white people to 'the promised land' to destroy my people? Hey, when I read the Bible I'm aware that we are the Amorites and the canaanites and all those people who were not the "imperialist nations." He is sooo good. Very Christian, very honest. Not bitter but he tells it like it is. He has a newsletter called Smoke signals. http://www.wiconi.com/?cid=809 And a youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/user/WiconiInternational Here's a great vid of him http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mEkMy1KNW0 He's totally totally a Bible believer, though. But he understands stuff from the position of the oppressed not from the side of the oppressor. And he and wiconi do a lot of christian pow wows. They're part of the world christian gathering of indigenous people. Christianity lived through the culture of indigenous peoples, not through western cultures. He always says, "The white man came to our culture and said, 'your culture is the devil's culture. You must get rid of it and your language.' But why should I give up my tainted culture to take on the tainted culture of the white man?" I just love him.

Divorce dreams, child of divorce issues

Okay...am looking up from my editing to actually post something here....

I dreamed -- second time in two weeks-- that my husband Luke was leaving me for another woman. Last week I dreamed I nagged him and suddenly he decided he had had enough of my nagging and in the middle of my nagging he just up and left. I had taken that as a sign to stop planting seeds of divorce and negativity and whining. So all week I've really stopped the whining and complaining. But last night up comes this dream. I spent the dream begging and crying and pleading for him to stay but he was very cold. The woman's name was Kathy Conklin. Yeah, I know....we both dreamed of folks with christian and surnames. Very strange. I showed him our 5 kids and said, "Is happiness with this one woman worth ruining the lives of our kids and me?" (Older son was in the NBA in the dream.) It was so weird..it felt so real that when I woke up to find Luke beside me I was totally overjoyed. But then I got to wondering WHY???? At first I thought it was prophetic...that I had spent so many years planting seeds of divorce in our family that the seed had grown. So I rebuked and uprooted the seed. Then I got to thinking that maybe God is dealing with my absolutely irrational fear and hatred for divorce. It's so bad I still haven't seen movies like Kramer v Kramer. I generally don't watch any movies with divorce. I can't bear the pain. And if some real life woman kills her philandering husband I generally have no problem with it. (I'm way more lenient about women killing husbands than vice versa.) It's so bad that I can't read the story of Jacob and Leah or the story of Ishmael and Isaac. Or Hagar and Sarah. Not really divorce stories but they are stories about love being rationed...and folks being categorized. Hubby and I are reading through the Bible together. 3 chapters or so in the morning. One or two in the afternoon. And some more at bedtime. And I know the word of God is alive. It's possible that God is healing me of this woundedness -- being a child of divorce whose father said we were no longer his real children. Cause the upshot of all of this pain is that I also get mad at God for allowing that unfairness. And really God is gracious. So the human idea of fairness shouldn't matter. Interestingly, this makes me read the Bible with more compassion for characters such as Hagar, Ishmael, Esau, Michal, Potiphar's wife, Absalom, Prince Shechem, than the typical Christian has. I dislike Bible study folks having sacred cows and scapegoats in the Bible-- folks I SHOULD hate or folks I SHOULD like. You can always tell how loving or cold-hearted or unthinking a minister is when he seeks to find a reason to hate Esau, Michal, Shechem et al. It's like they say: "we're supposed to hate these folks because they're bad." And they forget that EVERYONE in the Bible is bad except for Jesus. And when they start hating on some Bible person like Esau or Absalom or whoever I just see their narrow-mindedness and their searching for sins. Anyway, am rambling. I feel God's word is working within me and healing me of this stuff....and my feeling that God is unfair (hey, it's not him who's interpreting the Bible so unlovingly; it's his people.)

Then I dreamed of someone from my hispanic church saying, "So you're coming back to church now?" It seems I was...and I was going to continue going there and not leave again. Will see if that happens. They have church at night...and that plays havoc with sleep issues.

-C

Made it through the Abraham story

Won't say much except
1) Hadn't really felt til this reading the extent of the deep love between Abraham and Lot. Lot followed Abraham's vision as much as Abraham did. They never argued except that their servants was what caused them to part.
2) Hadn't realized that Sarai's sister (Nahor's wife) also was blessed in her old age with children. Must think of this.
3) Still can't figure out the spiritual significance of why the story about Hagar not seeing the well is also in the same chapter as Abraham and Abimelech's servants fighting over a well.
4) Can't figure out why Abraham took gifts of Pharoah and of Abimelech when he sinned against them but felt he had to pay for the cave to bury Sarah in.

Also, something interesting about Job:
We don't hear of the faith of Job. We hear about the patience of Job. So Job isn't listed in Hebrews 11, faith hall of fame. If faith doesn't let you win the battle...persevereance will. Faith and/or patience (endurance) is what the saint of God needs when fighting the devil.

My Saviour My God by Aaron Shust

Amen

Jesus is the great Amen. Imagine that all of our prayers are yes and amen in Christ.

Jesus said "If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." So... It's the truth we know that saves us. Not merely the truth itself.

Jesus said storms come but the one who weathers the storm and survives is the one whose life is built on the rock of his word. So it's not hearing the word alone, but doing it...and living on it.

Be ye not mere hearers of the word ...but doers as well... And we will see the AMEN to our prayers.

Amen means SO BE IT! and we should trust that.