Sunday, March 01, 2009

okay, 3rd day

Well, today is the 3rd day of the fast. I made a deal with God that I'd eat at the conference. So resumed the fast again this morning at 9 am. So will not be eating again until 9 tomorrow morning. Hubby's been foodless for the past 2 days. HE's gonna be going the straight 3 days through. I love him so much.

Didn't sleep last night at all, or the night before. Fasting means...well, fasting from sex too. Which would've maybe given me an hour or so of sleep. But it's what one has to do.

But I've got to tell you about the conference yesterday -- where I allowed myself to eat. It was actually quite good. The minister was Anna Rivera Brown, an older woman and her text was taken from Genesis where Jacob works for seven years for Rachel and when he woke up "behold it was Leah!" She used Leah to represent the stuff we haven't been working for, the stuff that gets dropped into our lives, the stuff we have to deal with if we are to get to our Rachel. She was pretty harsh on Leah and pretty much identified her with bad stuff that happens but I kept remembering a medieval sermon on Leah and the effect: Rachel was beautiful but Lean was more fruitful. So I didn't quite feel the allegory. Plus, you know me. Kneejerk christian anger or disdain toward certain Bible characters (Hagar, Michal, Tamar, Absalom, Woman at the Well, Potiphar's wife, et al just kinda get me into one of my she's-sleepy-so-she's-bitchy-and-ready-for-a-fight snits.)

But the sermon was quite good.

Then folks got up to give testimonies. I gave a testimony on God's goodness to us through Marvel Comics and Iron Man. Don't know if I told this here before but back in the day -- about 27 years ago-- hubby worked for Marvel and worked on the Iron Man comics. This is a picture of hubby all those years ago. We don't take pictures anymore for some reason so I don't have any pictures of us...unless it was taken by school for Gabe or for the back of my book. What can I say? We've fallen away from normalcy in many ways? I truly don't even know how I look.

At that time, he did the story on which the 2008 Iron Man movie was based, and he and the writer created the character of Obadiah Stane/Iron Monger -- played by Jeff Bridges in the film. Well, here we are in financial issues cause by my health, kid's health, older son's issues...and out of the blue the Iron Man movie comes out and of all stories to choose they choose that one! (I like to think that God turns all the world around for little old me.) Then Marvel calls us up and tells us we're going to get some money for character creation. Megabucks. Okay so it's not in the millions, probably, but it will help to wipe out ALL our debts. We're supposed to get the money the week of April 1, after the 1st quarter yadda-yadda. So I give a testimony on that, casually mentioning that at present we're only living on half a paycheck because the other half has to go to debts.

Later a lady and her friend came over to me and wrote a check for $100 for me because she felt God was telling her to do it. She didn't put my name in but said I could use it for something nice for myself. Well, the nicest thing I could think of is to pay off the rest of scheduled payment of my electric bill cause they were coming to cut it off this week. Isn't God good?

But even better!! This lady and her friend prayed for Gabe and me. Maybe she saw how wobbly I was during the entire service. I actually was kinda on the verge of keeling over. What a lovely prayer! (The minister also prayed for me but she gave me a word from God: "Once you get this morning, do not get into debt again!" So I'm taking that as a command to obey.) Anyway, this lady, Nancy and her friend Joan (I think) prayed for me. And the absolute weird thing was that they were white middle class women Christians. Honestly, I avoid white middle class women Christians. Almost as much as I avoid black poor women Christians. Basically, I felt God was saying to stop avoiding white Christian women, especially since these women were so loving and caring in their prayer and their generosity. I really have to push past wounds aside and let go of my bitterness. (This will mean telling people off when they anger me instead of nursing a grudge. Will see if I can do it.)

During the conference we got news that one of the older women -- a sweet lady I really like named Quessie-- had heard that her grandson had been shot in Yonkers. So we prayed about that. I'm still praying but really I should call her up and ask how he's doing. Just too scared to find out he's not well. The last time I saw this kid he was around 5. Yeah, I know...and this lady lives in my town and this kid's mom goes out with the son of my neighbor.. . but I told you, I'm a recluse.

Last night my friend Gloria brought over some nice clothes for my Gabe. Nice! Tons of underwear, too. Which this kid needs. On the whole, I don't buy clothes because I never have money to buy them. So my clothes are clothes I've had for 20 years or hand-me-down clothes from my neighbor (who has tons of clothes) or from my friend with the expensive tastes. (Always good to have one of those.) God has really provided. But, it looks as if beginning April 1st -- at least from the email-- I'll at last be out of debt. The Marvel liaison said "megabucks." Am dreaming what exactly megabucks is. From the contract it looks like we'll get at least $25,000. Perhaps more, depending on toys sold, DVD's made, video games. Life is good.

Now, just have to wait for Gabe's healing to manifest.
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