Monday, March 16, 2009

Gabe update -- remember us in your prayers

Well, today the social worker at the school called to tell me that if my son doesn't stop acting up they will be forced to call in the crisis team which will take him away and put him in a state institution. They keep hinting at this. . . all the time!!!! The problem now is: can I take him out of the school system? I have no power to take him out of the school because I don't have guardianship. So it's one of those catch-22's. Your son is in pain and is acting up in school therefore we are ready to take him away from you and put him in an institution because he is 19 and he is the one who must speak for himself as an adult because he is an adult. But he cannot speak for himself because he is 19 and you can't speak for him because the guardianship papers aren't finished yet. You can spare yourself this horrible grief because if you take him out of school the crisis team can't take him and institutionalize him but you can't take him out of school because he's 19 and the guardianship papers aren't done yet.

All this because the kid is in pain and has a bad sinus headache and is suffering. I've had no sleep for I don't know how long. I'll be keeping Gabe in for the next few days. Don't know what it'll do but will try to work on his sinuses.


Anonymous said...

Carole, I will absolutely be praying for Gabe and for you. How much longer until you get those guardianship papers? Is there an ombudsman or any group in your state that provides advocacy for people in your situation?

As far as the sinus thing goes, I looked it up on one of my favourite search utilites (go to, check the "Autism Mercury" box, and type in the search term "sinus"). It looks like, for people with ASD, it can often be remedied with extra vitamin C, magnesium, or (if it's yeast related - as these things often are for our kids) grapefruit seed extract. Obviously, the right treatment is going to vary depending on what Gabe's underlying needs are. If you want, you could go directly to the Autism Mercury group and post there for help, or email me. I don't know if I know anything useful, but, you know, two heads are better than one yadda yadda yadda.

I've also heard that people get *really* good results from neti pots, but I think it would be a challenge to get most kids with ASD to comply with that.

Carole McDonnell said...

Hi Rene:

Thanks. Will try the grapeseed extract. And the extra vitamin C and maybe some juices cause I think OJ has a lotta natural magnesiu. Am scared about taking magnesium in any form. It's weird but the headache seems to get worse when he gets magnesium citrate. I noticed that the last time we gave it to him for constipation. Not sure if its the magnesium or the citrate.

She was really pushing the neurological tests and the psychology tests. As if anyone knows how to do psychology tests on a nonverbal kid. And she said the neurological tests were old because they were 3 years old. Getting Gabe to sit still in a cat scan machine was surprisingly easy but i don't want to push it.

I don't think I want to pull Gabe from school until the system finished the guardianship.

I called the school to see what's what. In NY, the handicapped can be in school until they turn 21. The school system owes them. But am not sure if they MUST be in school. Maybe I can take him out.

This is anohter reason why i want to be away from school and from the world at large. He and i can go for walks. Honestly, it's probably just glorified babysitting. I just don't want to take the chance that they call in the crisis team and take gabe away. It honestly would kill me. I get bad pains in the chest from all this sleeplessness and it would literally kill me if they took him from us.

You're the second person today to suggest the neti-pot. We used the interplak tooth irrigator cleaner to clean out his nose. He had control over it and would put it in his nose. But the thing broke and we have to buy a new one. I think he could handle the neti-pot. -C

Lisa said...

I'll include him in my prayers. I can't imagine how stressful this must be for you.

Why do they suggest an institution for Gabe if it won't help him?

Carole McDonnell said...

They do things bass-ackwards in these parts. I mean they kick folks out of their homes and foreclose and sell the house cheaper to other folks rather than the struggling home-owner. Woman, don't even ask.


Anonymous said...

Hey Carole,

What you want is grapeFRUIT seed extract; grapeseed extract is a good antioxidant but grapefruit seed extract is an effective antifungal, so if this sinus thing is yeast-related it should help. Very bitter though; we mix the drops with water and stevia and use a syringe to get it in. Maybe try a smaller dose at first just to make sure he doesn't have a nasty die-off reaction. Sigh. So complicated.

That is weird about magnesium, since a lot of people use it to get rid of headaches, but our kids are quirky, aren't they?

Oh yeah, I just found out today from a reflexologist that firmly massaging the pads of the toes can help with sinus trouble, too.

I'm praying. Please let us know what happens.

Carole McDonnell said...

Hi there! It is weird with the magnesim. But maybe it's the magnesium citrate. Am gonna amp up his oj. That helps me with my magnesium reations. Will get the grapefruit seed extract.

I totally forgot about the pads of the toes. I used to do that. Wow, thanks for reminding me. Will do it again. I might give him some peanuts...and some nuts. Magnesium. And maybe some green juice. Will keep him home tomorrow and work on him. Thanks so much. -C


Anonymous said...

Carole, how's Gabe doing? How are you doing? :-)

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